Rooted Inside
by logica
Summary: One death has broken them apart... can a new and unexpected spark of hope reunite them?
1. Default Chapter

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters from 'Mutant X'. They're not my property. They belong to Tribune Entertainment.  
  
***  
  
A grey dove with three black lines on his tale landed on the concrete ground. It had found a few crumbs and it began to hurriedly pick one by one before someone else had that chance; its little neck working almost like a machine.  
  
The golden rays of the sun were absent today, removed by the falling grayness from the large clouds in the sky that gave a deceiving earlier image of friendly white pillows announcing the sun; now instead a depressing and lonely feeling fell on the city with the 'cheerful' news that a hard and long rain was going to arrive and its big drops of water wash away all the filth which roamed the streets.  
  
As if this had been some inner calling to almost every person living here, the early moisture in the air reaching inside their brains and sending small messages, the streets were slowly emptying from any human or animal presence.  
  
Sitting on the wide white edge of the closed window, her tiny white fingers gripping the handle of a white mug filled with hot chocolate, the young woman watched the slow retrieval of life from that gray surface beneath the glass. Her deep blue eyes, twinkling with sad sparkles decided to not absorb today's time; the effort to preserve the memory of this day simply did not seem to appeal to her.  
  
She had expected this date to be rid of any cheer, any fun, stripped from anything that could be tempting to place a smile on a person... especially her - Emma Delauro; from the very first second after the stroke of midnight to the very last. Grievance had wrapped around her so tightly that the only options which she was left with was to simply sit down in this small home and observe the slow arrival of the rain while the sound of her own sighing was her only company.  
  
Despite her isolation she could still pick up on the vast variation of feelings and emotions emerging from the passengers on the street beneath her window. Emma could sympathies with those that felt anger, disappointment and misery and during some hidden seconds in her mind she felt saved by this, knowing that it hadn't been only her that had let the weather and memories weigh her down. But then she would come across those that felt lighter, less annoyed and perhaps even worse - happy; their faces serious and some would even dare to smile... and Emma envied these people, she felt jealous of the boldness they had to enjoy themselves, to let happiness be a part of them. She envied them because she too had once enjoyed that luxury of being tremendously happy. However with the passing of each week, that feeling began to slowly become transparent and at times almost impossible to touch... like today.  
  
A heavy sigh left her full red lips with an existing amazement at how that color had still managed to remain on this piece of flesh. It had been one year. Removing her eyes from the street, Emma slowly took them over to the big white clock on the wall in the shape of a disk with two thin and small black handles being the only decorations on the object, except the black twelve numbers. The small handle stood on a 4, while the large one on a 7. Now it was exactly one year, at this time; an event that completely changed hers and the rest of the Mutant X members' lives. Her thin and beautifully shaped eyebrows slowly rose up as the sad feeling traveled slowly through her now. Placing her head to rest on the glass surface of the window, Emma gripped the entire mug tighter; she felt the tears would start harassing her as they slowly traveled up to the very surface of her blue colored eyes and waited just for the right moment to be released by her weakness caused from the grief she was feeling.  
  
*********  
  
The cold drops of sweat were slowly sliding from the tight muscles on his body to the soft surface of the bed as he kept fighting the images running around in a virtually chaotic order in his mind; keeping up the struggle until finally not being able to continue watching all those images, he quickly sat up on the bed in the dark evening.  
  
Gulping huge chunks of air, saving himself from the nightmare of his sleep with the quick transfer to reality, Brennan slowly managed to regain his orientation and remember that he was back home, to his apartment. The sun being choked by the heavy clouds that were waiting to burst with the hard rain any moment, gave this evening a deeply darker feel. Burying his wet face in the tiny security of his large palms, he shook his head as a heavy exhale could be sensed into the air from his lips. "Jesus!" Finally releasing it, he quickly removed the red duvet and two white bed sheets before touching the hard and almost spiky carpet with his bare feet, letting the slightly cooler air of the room run through his sweated body.  
  
"Brennan?" a gentle female voice reached his ears as the Elemental stared through the open window and felt the appearance of artificial light in the room; he didn't turn around.  
  
Walking up to him, until her body was lined up next to him, her dark eyes observing the image of his face with a hint of concern; placing her hand softly on the sweaty back, her palm nearly absorbed the bodily moisture. "Did you have another nightmare?" she asked him.  
  
Brennan nodded in response. "It's the twentieth so far, Shal and it's getting worse." His eyes slowly traveled to her face, forcing his head to turn as well.  
  
Shalimar ran her hand through his black hair, trying to straighten it. Brennan's hair always managed to reach such disorder when he would get out of bed. "It's over now," her quiet voice assured him as she lifted the heels of her feet to kiss his lips.  
  
"For today," hesitancy was strongly felt in his tone as the brown color of his eyes nearly altered to the change of the outside weather to a darker shade. Not wanting to be alone, an easy sense of relief had settled into him, knowing this Feral was here with him. He quickly embraced her, burying his nose in her shoulder, a deep sigh exiting his lips.  
  
Not knowing what words to use, Shalimar simply returned the embrace, feeling the wet body tightly to hers. She questioned whether the meaning of today had something to do with the increasing appearances of his nightmares, all being nearly the same: everyone he knew dying, hideous screams, red and black shadows appearing and disappearing but not before nearly choking the poor soul in front of them; and with each next nightmare, new images appeared, adding to the number of disturbing experiences and the cause for the regular lack of sleep. All of this worried the small Feral. "Do you want something to drink?" she then asked.  
  
"Maybe something hot," was his response when Brennan lifted his head and looked back at her. "I'm going to take a shower first; I need to get rid of this sweat."  
  
"Alright," Shalimar agreed and unwrapped her arms around him.  
  
Stepping away from her, Brennan leisurely walked over to the white bathroom just across the bedroom. He did not bother to take any new clothing, the black boxers he had on him were enough. Before stepping into the room, he stopped, placing his hand on the wall, just below the switch. "I wanted to sleep through today," he said with the pain dangling from each word. He then stepped into the bathroom and closed the door behind him.  
  
Crossing her arms, Shalimar pressed them hard against the tight white top. "I know," she whispered and gradually moved her face over to the window. The feline genes were working on her as she had sensed the presence of this weather earlier before its arrival. She felt tired; the drowsiness challenging her ability of staying awake bit by bit.  
  
It truly had been a year and Shalimar was affected with the same amount by its meaning as Brennan. She had managed to wipe away the earlier tears that had stained the skin on her face, hoping Brennan wouldn't notice.  
  
Three years they had been together, the Feral and Elemental; three strange years with the first one representing the real bloom of their attraction towards each other, the expression of their emotions.  
  
Swinging her upper body to the furthest distance of left and right as she could; she had now hoped the tiredness wouldn't overpower her to allow her to see Brennan through today and also begging deep inside that she too would have the strength to do the same for herself.  
  
Stepping into the bathtub, Brennan felt the hot water spraying his body, washing away the cold sweat of which he wanted to be rid. Opening his mouth, he let a couple of drops enter inside, to drench his tongue and slide down his dry throat. After closing his mouth again, his hands took the green bar of soap and began to scrub the dead cells from his skin surface.  
  
Slowing down, he moved his face away from the water, and stared at the window above the sink with the remaining drops of the hot liquid, dripping from his eyelashes, disturbing his view. Wiping the majority of drops away, he could now see much clearer.  
  
Taking a deep breath and noticing the rise of the steam, Brennan felt a heavy feeling in his heart. He cursed the nightmare for disturbing his sleep, his only escape from having to endure the pain of this date. Ever since they left, the nightmares had interfered with his sleep and he had nearly gotten used to it, except for today.  
  
He did notice the tiredness on Shalimar's face and he could only wish not to be a burden to her today. They were both highly sensitive today due to the painful memories and the consequences which they carried towards the hearts of these two mutants and the gloomy weather outside did not make matters better.  
  
*********  
  
Another sign of rain, "Again..." he thought and then formed fists inside the pockets of his gray coat. Moving with a pace that gave the impression of a rush, he stared at the surprisingly straight line his feet were walking on. It hadn't been a long day but he felt tired, tired and extremely moody. Perhaps it was this sudden change of the climate that started to irritate his senses making him somnolent. He did not want to talk to anyone and he did not want to stop anywhere as that would only mean an unwanted conversation with some stranger, maybe a woman. All he wanted to do was retreat to his own little home and find some reason to forget this date and forget the sad feeling along with it. His light blue eyes moving up, observing some of the people passing in front of him; they did not appear to be in a rush... so much different to him. Oh, Santa Monica could be like this, a thought appeared in his mind. The weather was perhaps worsening but the inhabitants and visitors of this city simply were not disturbed by it.  
  
For a while, he wished he could be happy as the old man sitting on the bench, reading a newspaper; happy as the four little children playing Tag; not worrying like the young lady with purple hair, walking her dog - a white puddle; all these people seemed different, seemed happier. Maybe it had been only him who had let a gloomy feeling like this affect him or maybe with a little hope, there was someone else, just as sad and a little miserable as him.  
  
But there was that one year, of course... and one event that changed his feelings to some sadder ones. Pulling out his left hand to run its fingers through his thin blond hair, Jesse gave a sigh... it being a lonely sigh. Despite his wish to not be disturbed, he did feel lonely. Maybe the others he once knew felt lonely as well... with his biggest efforts he could not put himself up to the task of imagining them feeling better than him or if there was supposed to be a shock - actually, happy. No, last year, this day shook everyone deeply. And Jesse dreaded this day; he dreaded it for the memories that it brought with it, for the intensifying of the darker emotions he wanted not to feel.  
  
He then stopped and looked up: "The lonely ship." - The sign with blue letters on a wooden board read. Lowering his head, Jesse saw this being a small sea food restaurant; not too posh and not too exposed. It was perfect. Pushing the wooden door with his hand he soon entered inside and to his enjoyment it was neither completely full nor completely empty; there were perhaps a maximum of fifteen people sitting here. He nodded and walked over to a small white wooden table just near the wall with two chairs. Sitting down, Jesse took off his coat and then picked up the brown menu. There was a tempting offer here, good names of meals that his stomach had developed an appetite for.  
  
His eyes slowly wandered over to the decoration of a small blue dolphin hanging on the wall behind the register where a boy of perhaps sixteen years of age was taking the payment of an elderly couple. The dolphin had a smile shaped on its face. Jesse truly shouldn't have done this but the image was tempting him to go to place way back into his childhood. He saw his first dolphin there on the beach with his parents... he was only six perhaps or younger... a fond memory indeed. A slow but certain and quiet smile had crept up and occupied his mouth.  
  
It appeared quiet in here as he returned his eyes to the menu. It was going to begin raining outside and he should sit out the depressing weather in here. There were some quiet conversations going on from some of the tables as he could tell and a man even laughed, but all of this did not seem to bother Jesse. He was not alone and no one had bugged him for a conversation and better yet, no one knew who he was. Jesse and the other members of Mutant X were not quite unknown after all those years when their strange popularity had suddenly spread across states. But here he felt anonymous and he liked it.  
  
Perhaps he could pass through this sad day without tears appearing on his face. He had days like that, frequently. Today he hoped it wouldn't have to be one of those days.  
  
********* 


	2. chapter 2

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters from 'Mutant X'. They're not my property. They belong to Tribune Entertainment.  
  
***  
  
*********  
  
The temperature in the room had been on the right level, but the Psionic had still felt cold. Brining the warm mug to her chest, she pressed her lips tightly as the flow of memories had begun in her head. The site of the living room with its green walls and old furniture was slowly transforming into a laboratory surrounded with glass walls. She knew this place well and she knew the young woman that had just entered inside: It was her, feeling tired.  
  
**  
  
Walking over to the chair she leaned on it with her hands tightly pressed on the object's surface and her head being thrown back as Emma let her eyes close for a moment. A sudden smile appeared on her face when someone placed their hand on her shoulder.  
  
"Tired?" he asked her.  
  
"Oh yeah," Emma nodded and opened her eyes to meet his face on a safe distance from hers.  
  
"Let me take you in my big strong arms and sing you to sleep?" he offered jokingly.  
  
Emma giggled. "So generous," she said and then asked: "Aren't you?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Tired?"  
  
"I think you can tell," his eyes smiling as he felt the tiredness preventing him from forming the smile with his lips.  
  
"You're lucky," she said and straightening up. Emma turned to him when she felt the warmth of where his hand was had started to disappear. "Did she like your surprise?"  
  
"Yes and the result of that was quite satisfying. Thanks."  
  
"Good." Putting her hands on her waist, Emma leaned her head forward, lifting her chin. "I told you I knew that she would love it," she almost sounded as being proud of herself and that was not far from the truth. "I'm a master at these things, ha-ha!" she tried to give out a smart tone to her laughter.  
  
"Yeah, yeah..... whatever! Don't go flattering yourself too much like you usually do."  
  
"Me?? That sounds more like something *you*...," and she poked his chest twice with her index finger, "...would do, *not* me," and crossed her arms.  
  
"Anyway!" Brennan hurriedly interrupted the Psionic before they would enter their 'painfully long match of words and phrases about each other'. Yes, that could turn out to be a nightmare even if a comical one. "Thank you for the tip." This time he summoned up enough strength to pull a grateful smile and touched her right arm.  
  
"You're very welcome, Bren." She felt pleased by this because Emma was obviously fond of helping her friend out, especially when her abilities, which the others lacked, were required for small but meaningful moments like this. Unfortunately as if someone had wanted to deliberately cut this and others moments of happiness short, a sudden feeling like thunder hit her inside.  
  
"What's wrong?" Brennan asked when he noticed the appearance of a disturbing expression on Emma's face.  
  
"It's Adam!" she said and quickly rushed out of the laboratory. Brennan followed her.  
  
They soon reached the hallway to see a mutant with green, almost frog-like, skin, holding Adam by the neck before slowly lifting him up, separating him two feet from the floor.  
  
"Let him go!" Emma ordered the mutant.  
  
Swiftly turning his head, to face the Psionic and Elemental, his yellow eyes with two narrow lines that represented his pupils, glared at them. He did not respond to Emma's demand, only returned his attention to Adam.  
  
"What the fuck is that thing?" Brennan wondered as his eyes traveled along the green body of the mutant, scales with a lighter color lined up at the back of its wrists and ankles.  
  
"I'm a reminder of what happens when you try to screw with nature," the mutant responded, his voice rough and the excessive amount of saliva in his mouth distorting his words. He slowly brought Adam closer to him, letting his feet touch the floor again; this creature appeared to be physically strong, despite the different message which his barely visible muscles were sending. "You thought you could create some dull-witted harmonic life to exist between us mutants and the humans?" he told the scientist as small drops of glop rubbed off on Adam's face from the mutant's mouth as he brought it closer to Adam's ear. "It's not that easy, Adam. Nothing is ever easy!" He then lifted his other hand and was moving in to grab Adam's neck when something inside him suddenly appeared causing him to scream in agony and release Adam.  
  
Emma simulated a feeling of his skin burning so that he would finally release Adam before he had the chance to terminate him. When a safe space appeared between the mutant and Adam, Brennan used the chance to throw a high voltage electric bolt towards the mutant. The shock did not appear to have the power to throw the amphibian creation flying against the wall but it did have adequate energy to stun and weaken him enough to fall on the floor.  
  
Running to the fallen man, Emma then kneeled beside him. Adam was gasping for air, choking while she helped him to sit up. "Are you alright?" she asked him with a worried tone and when she saw him nod in response a breath of relief was released from her.  
  
Brennan in the meantime stood over the mutant, watching him carefully; ready to stop him from any further attempts of assassinations. He only took a quick glimpse of Adam and his recovery and that was enough proof for the Elemental to keep the mutant under harsh surveillance. "How did you find this place?" he asked him, his voice stone cold.  
  
The mutant looked up at him, the green eye caps closing down, leaving only a small visible space available of his eyes, consuming the orange color into them. "Why don't you ask your friend?" he hissed.  
  
"And who might that be?"  
  
"Her!" he nodded over to Emma.  
  
The Psionic anxiously turned her head towards the mutant from the sound of that word.  
  
Brennan did not jump into that lie. "Nice try. Now once again, how did you FIND THIS PLACE??"  
  
"I already told you, Elemental."  
  
This was not a good test for Brennan's patience as he grabbed the mutant by the neck and slammed him against the wall. "Why did you want to kill Adam??" a close shout was released.  
  
"It's because of delusional 'scientists' like him who try to play God that outcasts, freaks of nature like you and me exist!" the mutant's breathing had intensified as his gaze barely gave out any human presence.  
  
"We're not freaks of nature!"  
  
"No? Then I don't see you being as someone who could live a normal life and it's because of him and others like him that none of us can or ever will have that chance!" "You're in serious need of some brain therapy..." Brennan wanted to come up with a name for this creature but the mutant already helped out: "Caleb," he told him.  
  
"Alright, *Caleb! What ever your stupid theories are and whatever reasons you had for killing Adam, it was *not* a good idea! Once again, how did you find this place?"  
  
"When twice you failed to comprehend the situation, what good will a third try make?" Caleb responded and then spit a thick white mass toward Brennan's face, covering his eyes and nose, forcing the Elemental to release him.  
  
Being pulled backward as he struggled to rid himself of the mass that had blocked any air from reaching his nostrils, Brennan was forced to breathe through his mouth.  
  
Caleb sprinted from the ground and landed gently on the other side of the hallway using his feet and hands as suction cups.  
  
"Shit! Brennan!" Emma prepared herself to dash towards her friend, leaving Adam for Caleb to jump behind him and knock him unconscious. Afterwards he ran after Emma, tugging her to the ground just as she was close enough to reach Brennan.  
  
Pinning her tightly on the cold floor, Caleb observed her human features, his eyes widening and shrinking after every line on her face. "My... how human you look. If it hadn't been for your deformation you might've actually become something in your life."  
  
"It's not a deformation, you psycho! It's a gift!" she was not only struggling to free herself from his grasp but to avoid the disgusting odor originating from his body; it smelled like marsh.  
  
Caleb slowly shook his head. "It's against nature," he replied and just as Emma was preparing to use her power on him he released a tiny red gas from his mouth. The gas entered through Emma's nostrils, reaching inside her, spreading to her brain and rapidly shutting down her cells that produced her ability to remain conscious and awake. Soon darkness replaced the image of the green amphibian mutant.  
  
**  
  
"Emma? Em, wake up." A clear, smooth voice appeared inside her darkness.  
  
"Mm?" Moving her head slowly, she opened her eyes and saw the face which the voice had been coming from; she could even feel his warm breath due to intensity of his breathing.  
  
"Are you ok?" he asked her when seeing the Psionic coming to life again.  
  
"Yes, a little dizzy but..." slowly and with his help she sat up. Emma felt his hurriedness to escape from here but she also sensed his concern towards her that occupied his mind, causing him to stay.  
  
Taking her arms, Brennan used himself as a leaning post for Emma at the same time as he was assisting her to stand on her feet.  
  
"What... happened?" Emma spoke, her voice giving the sign of disorientation as if she had been exposed to some strong drug; the small dizziness was still present in her head. She could barely make out anything else except for Brennan's face as this appeared to be a small and dark room.  
  
"I don't know," Brennan took in some air before he continued. "After that bastard spit that thing in my face, he must've knocked me unconscious 'cause the next thing I know I woke up here, with you."  
  
The recollection was quickly appearing as Emma's eyes widened. "Adam!" she panicked and as if a bucket of cold water had been thrown at her, her hands grabbed the front of Brennan's shirt. "I can't sense Adam! I can't find him!" The panic in her voice grew as well with this sudden realization.  
  
"What?"  
  
"I'm not picking up anything from him!" she said and searched for the door with her eyes although it appeared difficult due to the darkness around her.  
  
"Emma, Emma!" he tried to quiet her down. "Calm down, we'll find him. He's not far. Calm down, alright??" he told her, sensing her struggle inside to control her breathing. Taking Emma's hands he jerked them away and he felt her grip being so tight that she nearly tore off pieces from his shirt.  
  
"Ok...ok." Emma nodded and exhaled, trying her best to remain calm although the uncertain feeling of Adam's wellbeing was digging deeper inside her brain. She could sense that despite Brennan's appearing coolness, he too was showing signs of engrossed concern about the situation.  
  
Soon she noticed a few small sparks appear and the metal door sliding to the right, revealing the entrance to the outside - light, precious light. Emma saw Brennan slowly stepping out of the room to check the safety of the space in front of them, this giving her the chance to take a short glance of the room that appeared to have metal walls and shelves that had seemed to be so far empty. Then returning her eyes to the entrance and noticing the surprisingly still intact small security key pad, it did not take her long to tell that, being typical of the Elemental, instead of trying to remember the code, he simply opened the door in his own way - a few zaps of electricity here and there. Normally she would comment on his choices of *daring escapes* but this time she was preoccupied with concern. She run out of the room and after seeing Brennan's wave towards him, Emma followed him.  
  
**  
  
Seeing them run out of the room and disappear from her sight, Emma felt the tears had no longer the patience to be held inside and so slowly she gave in to their pressure and let them slide down along her gentle cheeks. Putting the mug next to her, Emma pressed her legs to her chest and cupped them with her arms, letting her sad face sink into the available space between them. She could not go on and continue her remembrance; it was hurtful... too much for her and the heart inside her.  
  
********* 


	3. chapter 3

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters from 'Mutant X'. They're not my property. They belong to Tribune Entertainment.  
  
***  
  
*********  
  
Sitting down on the purple sofa, with his left arm resting on Shalimar's shoulder whilst she was soundly sleeping with her head on the small red cushion that was placed in his lap, Brennan lowered his eyes to her quiet image. It was a nice substitute to the nightmare from earlier, he knew that much. He smiled and took his right hand close to her head and stroke her hair gently so he wouldn't disturb her.  
  
After his shower they both sat down and started talking about matters that had no real importance. As they did so, he could tell how desperately the Feral struggled to chase away the sleepiness that had been threatening her the entire day. Brennan felt sorry for her and he knew she would not listen to him no matter how much he would insist for her to simply give into her biological urge to rest. Typically feline. In the end though, without him saying a single word about it, Shalimar stretched out lazily like the cat that she was and lied down on the cushion to sleep... she had lost the fight to stay awake despite her attempts.  
  
Moving his eyes over to the window, Brennan saw the large drops of rain splashing down on the surface of the glass and before having the chance to slide down and end their natural course, were interrupted by another set of smaller or even bigger drops. There was that pesky rain, it had finally started. Moving his right hand up to his chin he covered his lips with the fist he soon formed and let the memories in his mind pave away the path of reality for the images to begin and shape in front of his eyes. He saw two people run by the windows, with the visible larger or smaller panic in their eyes. Brennan's heart jumped sadly to this as he begun.  
  
**  
  
Walking as neatly as they could when the sudden chilly and yet shuttering calmness had sent an invisible arrow of alarm into their minds through their ears. Brennan stopped.  
  
"Do you hear anything?" he whispered.  
  
"No," Emma whispered back, her eyes searching the empty hallway. "Do you smell that?" she asked once a few sniffs were done.  
  
"Yes... smoke. Ah fuck its coming from the lab!" Brennan shouted and then both he and Emma rushed to the room only to be met by high rising flames. Raising his arm to shield his face from the roaring heat with sparks that snapped at his defenseless skin as dogs, preventing him and Emma from entering inside.  
  
"Brennan!" Emma shouted to him. Taking some steps back, Brennan turned his face to look at her and saw the Psionic pointing to the floor. Following that direction he saw a dense and long trail of red blood leading to the entrance of the lab before being sharply cut off by the red and orange flames feeding on the present air. "What..." he did not want to believe that this might have belonged to someone he knew. As he took another step backwards, Brennan noticed that his left foot left bloody stains on the floor; he must've stood on the trail when first encountering the fire. The smoke had quickly entered his lunges causing the Elemental to try and cough it out of his system and it made him distance himself and Emma as well, away from the fire.  
  
**  
  
Brennan closed his eyes, moving his fingers over his eyes, feeling the thin skin of the eyelids. A disturbing sigh was heard as the memory added another heated stroke inside him while he watched the fire being slowly put out, its flames disappearing into gray smoke from the large drops of the depressing rain on the window.  
  
The fire had disappeared and no other traces were found. The laboratory was completely destroyed and the hope of discovering Adam had burned out just as quickly as everything else around them, when Brennan and the others did not find any traces of the scientist. One thought that did occupy them was that he was not here and that perhaps meant that he was still alive.  
  
Brennan lowered his eyes on the sleeping Feral, the conflicting shadows of dim light and the darker shades, reflecting on her golden hair that had been resting calmly on her face and shoulders. He could not forget how her face had turned into the most miserable piece of inflicted shock and pain when her eyes saw the picture, three days later that shook her and the others to their bone.  
  
It was on a Sunday morning when they discovered the location of where Adam might have been taken. The process of searching for him had nearly drained the Psionic from her energy as she barely gave herself two hours of sleep a day.  
  
Jesse, Brennan, Emma and Shalimar landed on a barren, lifeless desert where besides the scorching heat of the high sun, a weak amount of wind was desperately trying to carry itself through this God-forsaken place. There was a yellow rock precisely 110 meters from where the Helix had landed, glittering on the sunlight, almost like a luring gem settled here. But the body that laid on the rock's surface immediately let the intense daylight be devoured by the crude and hollow darkness, flowing down before the mutants' eyes.  
  
His eyes closed peacefully to the quiet feeling of death; his mouth slightly opened with dried blood forming a trail from inside and toward the left side of his face, a twisted line finding its ending on the yellow rock surface with a small dried puddle; his arms spread on the wide exterior, with the hands dangling lifelessly over the barely twenty centimeters high fall. Something inside had killed Adam. Except for the blood and some reddish marks on his neck, there were no other signs of physical abuse. He hadn't been strangled, they knew that much. Perhaps it had been a brutal inner death or perhaps a less noticeable and even painless death.  
  
Anger, disappointment, sadness, confusion, all kinds of different emotions were gathered into a sudden, thick and spiky knot that nearly choked the Elemental. It had simultaneously ended millions of things inside him and the rest of the Mutant X members.  
  
Now, he was sitting in a small apartment with the Feral, one year later and separated from Emma and Jesse. Remembering the sight and all the feelings that had emerged from it caused the incredibly heavy weight to fall mercilessly on his heart. As slowly and as steadily as he could, Brennan removed him self from the couch, placing Shalimar's head on the pillow, letting her sleep alone on that sofa; he needed to stand up.  
  
Approaching the window, the watery surface on his brown eyes was high lightened by the rain. The news of Adam's death had crushed the others and experiencing the picture with their own two eyes had been almost the final blow. He hated this day; he hated the mere memory of this day and the effects which it had; it changed everyone, it sucked out so many good things from everyone, enhancing the negative and darker features, distancing the mutants from each other.  
  
He glanced over at Shalimar. Brennan questioned himself why he took her with him; maybe due to their relationship they simply could not stay apart from one another even though the event had reacted deeply to their insides wanting them to take that needed distance; maybe the knowledge of what that loneliness could do to them at times sew them back again, knowing that they would need some support, simply for someone to stay with them, no mattering who, but simply a mind and soul who had experienced the same, who knew their pain. Returning his eyes to the window, he shook his head. Sometimes all of this had been a burden to them both. But they kept trying. They did not have anyone else; they were forced to keep together.  
  
Brennan and Shalimar lost touch with Jesse and Emma and that had been painful at times, extremely painful. The thoughts that kept running through his head had distracted the Elemental to notice the two large tears that had begun to gradually slide down on his face. The pressure was building up inside him, but he did not feel that it would explode, it had already happened twice before, this time there was not enough strength nor will to approve its arrival.  
  
Emma... he wondered how Emma was. The entire ordeal had been devastating to all of them but what about the small Psionic? He could not let his heart stay numb and cold to that; how she coped with not only her own endless grievance and inner agony but the sadness and aching of the others as well. That must've been such a useless excess baggage for someone with the thin and sometimes weak nervous system as her to carry. Perhaps that had been the reason why she had been the first one to present her intention of separation from the other members, her friends. He saw the deep unwillingness in her by now, paler blue eyes as she had made her decision. But Brennan understood her and well. Six days that burden was building up on her shoulders, inside her mind. Even in her sleep she could not avoid it; her mind kept sucking in all the depressing emotions from the others.  
  
When they had to inform Adam's acquaintances and friends... that had appeared to be another heavy rock topping inside Emma's mind; she could hardly attend to her own feelings without having to be intercepted by the feelings of those around her.  
  
Adam was their father, their guardian. They lost him and with it parts of themselves. Brennan understood how difficult it was for everyone to asses their feelings, to somehow get back on their normal track... how it had been for him. Adam had taken him under his wing and was how a true parent could be; he trusted in him, he cared for him.  
  
Putting his palms on the glass surface, feeling the coldness rush through his body, Brennan let his head hang as his eyes closed once more, letting the tears to continue falling.  
  
It hadn't been raining outside only; it was raining inside his heart as well; black, cold drops of rain eating away his useless attempt of happiness for this moment.  
  
*********  
  
The last piece of the shrimp meat, transformed into a gooey mass had slid down to his digestive system when Jesse picked up the glass of white wine and took a long sip. At least his appetite was still there and now it had been satisfied. Yes, his stomach was, but his mind was far, much farther from that.  
  
He looked over at the table placed in the middle of the restaurant. Its previous occupants had finished and now the waitress, a short little lady with glasses was cleaning the table. When she had finished and left the white table empty, Jesse saw a translucent image of Shalimar sitting there, her hand providing a small surface for her head to lean on, her fingers tangled with her blond locks.  
  
Putting his glass down, Jesse then saw this area transform into one section of Sanctuary, one of the last ones without traces of decay. "So..." he heard Brennan who was leaning calmly against the wall, crack the closely uncomfortable silence. "You think that might solve our problems?" he eyes slowly going over to Emma who had taken a stool and was sitting on it with her arms set firmly between her knees.  
  
"I don't know, but it is an individual decision, mine." Emma responded with frostiness in her voice; there had been some odd distant behavior between these two from Jesse's observation.  
  
"I think Adam would've wanted us to stay together," Brennan said.  
  
"We're not splitting, Bren... I told you, this is just my time-off. You three stay, I need some time on my own," and crossed her arms with a brief bolt of invisible electricity going through her body, causing Emma to tremble for two short seconds.  
  
"Don't you think it's..."  
  
"Selfish? No, I don't. You know my reasons. And I'm pretty sure that it won't be long before you do the same," was her response.  
  
Jesse knew how she felt; he wasn't that far off from that condition himself. He did not have to be a telempath like Emma to discover the oddness between them all... and especially the strange discomfort between Brennan and Emma. "Maybe she's right," he then made himself heard. All eyes were on him now. "I think that... I could use some time to myself as well."  
  
The others didn't question him; they were getting similar vibrations from the situations that had risen to a dark hollowness.  
  
Shalimar placed her hand over Jesse's. The Feral felt for him, she felt for him out of them all the most. Her dark eyes painted with sympathy toward the Molecular, sending him comforting messages though them. Jesse had appreciated this always; Brennan and Emma weren't neglectful either but it had been Shalimar's longest and most understanding compassion that could wrap itself like a soft blanket when he needed it, when she would look at him like this; his friend, his dear, dear friend.  
  
He glanced at their hands and smiled back at Shalimar.  
  
Brennan knew where this was heading; he did not need any other words. "Alright then." Collapsing his arms, the Elemental pushed himself off the wall and simply walked pass Emma and traveled down the stairs.  
  
Watching him leave, Shalimar glanced over at Jesse and stood up, removing her hand from his. He heard her sigh. She walked over to Emma and crouched in front of the Psionic. "You're sure about this?" her voice placid and patient.  
  
Emma nodded in response.  
  
Making a curve with her lips, Shalimar took a strain of her red hair and placed it behind Emma's right ear. "Ok." She then stood up and followed Brennan downstairs.  
  
When they were left alone, Emma was the centre of Jesse's attention as his blue eyes, now with fading color, studied Emma's face with not as much curiosity as he had hoped. Standing up at the same time, both mutants' stares met quietly with faint amazement at their 'timing'. He slowly walked over to her. "For how long?" he asked her, his voice subduing to the quiet tone of the day.  
  
"I don't know," her arms had remained locked to her chest, remaining crossed as if she felt scared to release them. "Until I feel better."  
  
Jesse nodded and placed his hands on the soft skin of her bare arms. It felt colder than usual. He saw the dark marks under her eyes, the clear sign of her continuous lack of sleep. And she somehow had appeared thinner to him... or maybe it was simply his own less joyful view of things today.  
  
Jesse felt sorry for her; he felt sorry for everyone, even for himself about this strange state that had overpowered them. He didn't think it could affect them in such a way. It hadn't been just the laboratory that was left to the merciless demolishment... most of Sanctuary had been included. It would take them a while to repair this. He would make contacts, he knew people. Maybe when it was renewed, rebuilt, it would be a more inviting place for all of them to return. Perhaps even some of the memories will slowly and unnoticeably glide away from here.  
  
"Well, make sure you get some decent sleep, ok?"  
  
Emma smiled coyly. "I'll try," she said and finally unlocked her arms to embrace Jesse.  
  
"Gonna miss you."  
  
"Me too, Jesse," her voice sounded sour.  
  
Jesse sighed, looking down at the table. The silence of the room was quickly replaced with the quiet pattering of the restaurant. He looked at his plate that was left with only tiny crumbs of the meal that was right now being digested inside him; the glass nearly vacant, waiting to be refilled. Perhaps he should order some desert. Yes, that would be a good idea. The recollection sent an easy wave of discomfort across his body, distancing himself even more from those around him. This wasn't right; the isolation shouldn't grow like this today. Quickly raising his hand, Jesse called the waitress; he'd seen a good coconut desert earlier in the menu, his stomach might accept that one well.  
  
********* 


	4. chapter 4

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters from 'Mutant X'. They're not my property. They belong to Tribune Entertainment.  
  
***  
  
*********  
  
Sitting on the bench with her left hand shoved into the yellow paper bag, Emma crossed her legs and observed the duration of the day in front of her. This month had finally given the sun a chance to shine in all its glory: no clouds, no fog, nothing. Pulling out a flowery shaped chocolate cookie, she put it in her mouth and as the taste of what did not seem like artificial flavoring was being picked up inside, Emma smiled.  
  
She saw a small girl with braided black hair, nearly hanging by her mother's dress with her tiny fingers as she begged. "Please, mummy! Please, please, pleaseeeee!"  
  
"For the last time, Simone, I said: no." The mother, a tall woman with a big belly, no doubt pregnant, was trying to remove her daughter's hands from the pink dress. "You'll be getting a little brother in four months and I don't want a dog around the house during that time."  
  
"But I want one! Please!!" the little girl was obviously thinking of tricking her mother with a winning formula of attempted hysteria in the middle of the park.  
  
Getting another cookie, Emma let out a quiet giggle to this girl's little game. She received the idea of helping to persuade the mother's mind but she soon shook that proposal off. "She has enough problems as it is, Simone will have to wait a little longer," Emma told herself. Picking up the tiny daughter, the pregnant woman walked away from the Psionic's view, leaving a plain and funny memory behind.  
  
Taking in a deep breath, she then stood up and began walking. It had been an enjoyable Saturday morning, two weeks after the day when it had rained with such aggressiveness that one would think the sky was pouring down some of its anger on the ground.  
  
Her feet then slowed down their pace, until she finally stopped. Her senses received a long disappearing presence which she missed and it suddenly hit them like a flash or bolt of lightning. Being disabled from taking in air for three short seconds, Emma's mouth slightly opened, letting the wet skin on her lips to be dried hurriedly by the gentle Sunday breeze.  
  
She gazed over at the old tree to her right and noticed a tall figure passing by it, their head covered by the brown branches with flattering green leaves. Emma was unexpectedly rooted to the gray pavement; the startling feeling which overcame her was keeping her firmly in place, not letting her make a single movement. It had been so long; more than just one year since she had felt that presence and it pinched her heart to hurry its thumping inside her chest; for the pulse rate to intensify and allow the feeling of the blood pumping inside her body to become more noticeable, to signal a change caused by her mind. Emma hoped he would stop, she didn't have the ability to run over to him, and her body was ignorant to her will.  
  
He stopped precisely at that spot before his face was to be revealed behind the last branch rich with leaves. The swift thought of perhaps sensing her wish had come to mind but that could not have been the reason as Emma had done no such thing. Or had she?  
  
Turning around, the man started walking towards the small trash bin to throw a can inside. When his face was revealed, Emma felt the moment running through her body like water, due to the rising excitement she felt; this time her feet had summoned up the courage to obey the orders from her brain as she slowly but steadily begun walking towards him.  
  
When he threw the can inside the bin, Brennan barely made a 90-degrees-turn when his eyes noticed the small redhead walking towards him, trying desperately to hide her wide smile. "God..... Emma....." he spoke quietly and with fast steps approached her.  
  
They both stopped with a two feet distance between them. "I didn't know you were here," he said, the sudden discovery flaring from his eyes.  
  
"I could say the same about you," she could not conceal her smile - proof of the emotion that was absorbing her with the knowledge of his occurrence in this small town.  
  
"I came to see a friend who I thought lived here but he'd moved out....." the importance of the unsuccessful visit was receiving an uninterested treatment from him as he was standing in front of his dearest friend after such a long time. "You live here?" he asked her.  
  
"Yes, a nice change..... its not home but at least its hospitable," she replied and nodded once.  
  
"No explosions or anything?" he joked.  
  
"Nope, sound as a whistle..... well, at night anyway," she somehow joked back.  
  
Brennan chuckled and as if on signal, both mutants stepped forward closer and embraced each other tightly. The memory of their last farewell vanishing with their warm arms around their bodies, gripping them powerfully; the last time these two people spoke was not surrounded with sobbing hugs and endless conversations..... it was short and one might even say bitter. Perhaps now that was being replaced by the fondness discovered from their sightings; with so much distance created by time and painful memories, keeping them apart, letting their minds accept the forgiving feelings and dispatch the resentful ones.  
  
Or perhaps not......  
  
*********  
  
She kicked the punching bag hard with her left leg. She did not want to sweat today, but her need of exercise had been stronger, forming a will to stand up and give her body the movement it needed and resume her active life for some time. Shalimar missed the dojo; it had given her so many possibilities to train: try new movements, improve them, and bring back old ones. Now, she had only this big cylinder-shaped black punching bag with some yellow letters, being nearly erased from the extensive usage. Another high leg kick and two fists flew angrily into the hard bag as it soundlessly swung some inches from its original position as a response, accepting her blows. The Feral kept that tempo for ten more minutes until her body had signaled her that she needed rest; two hours of this created arid thirst inside her. She obeyed this and stopped, giving herself a longer time to rest against the wall.  
  
Going into the kitchen, she took out a bottle of cold ice tea. Touching her sweaty forehead with the icy surface of the glass bottle, she nearly wiped off the sweat, feeling the icy effects clashing with her burning body heat. Shalimar then opened the bottle and steadily began to drink the liquid and felt it going on its course through her body, gradually cooling it off. When she was finished, she put the bottle on the counter, not letting go of it while her other hand, forming a fist, rested on that curve above her left hip.  
  
She thought about last night when she and Brennan began discussing the traveling plan to Washington only for her to later discover that he had wanted to go on his own and maybe to some other destination. Perhaps she didn't know Dimitri but that was not a good reason for her to stay behind. Shalimar even questioned herself whether there had been another motive hidden behind that visit, but she quickly shouted inside her to get rid of such thoughts in her head. Brennan would never go with another woman like that behind her back; sure he was a 'ladies' man' but not the kind who would commit acts of adultery, all those years spent back at Sanctuary with him did teach her that.  
  
Shalimar remembered the level to which his voice was raised. She wasn't completely indignant of such confrontations as Emma had been but she was not a fan of them. This had been one of the many quarrels she and Brennan shared ever since their romance had 'blossomed'. But no relationship is immune to them, it's inescapable for them to appear sooner or later, with some more frequently while with others rarely.  
  
They were both impulsive; she would remember how they could end up in a huge heated discussion about some things quite easily, but they always dealt with it in the end with descending calmness. Each side wanting to be right and it did not help when the stubbornness would kick in. Shalimar sometimes commended Emma for having the ability to restrain the anger and keep her calm exterior much longer than the Feral, despite their similar meditating exercises. It was of little wonder that Brennan would choose to talk his frustrations out with the Psionic instead of her most of the time. But then again, Emma and Brennan did have accesses to a small place of familiarity for them, something only those two understood and were willing to share.  
  
This reminded Shalimar of Jesse; she hadn't heard from him in 10 months and if she were honest to herself she missed him, she missed her little brother. She missed her teasing and comforting which, to her delight, only she could offer to him. It felt good to feel special to someone, so much appreciated by one person when the others, despite their willing attempts, had been far from successful. It hadn't been very different from Brennan; he did give her this feeling of feminine uniqueness most of the time and she loved it, but there had been moments when the delicate voice and simply the listening with the heart were memories which she wanted to relieve. Shalimar did try to contact him four days ago through her ring, hoping for a response but there had been none; she had tried several times through different ways but she was met with failure.  
  
She then swallowed something rough inside her throat. Unwillingly she had begun to notice the unsettling growth of conflicting feelings inside Brennan, the regular appearance of distance, iciness.  
  
It is only a phase - a feeling of comfort would sweep through her worried mind as a broom, removing dust.  
  
In March, she and Brennan even returned for a brief visit to Sanctuary, hoping to see Jesse and Emma but they met no one familiar except the few individuals that worked secretly on the reconstructions of the place. The visit resulted to a silent ride to their apartment, not only due to the failure of seeing their friends but also some of the other memories this damned place had brought.  
  
She knew Brennan had missed Emma as much as she had missed Jesse and she did not blame him; it was difficult to be separated from that someone who knew your worst and good sides to such perfection it could easily make you sick in the stomach. She didn't mind, it was nice for someone to understand you..... an understanding grown from years of closeness. Shalimar could know that it had been this, among other things that kept Brennan and Emma to a closer link than the others. He too had been at times irritated even though not as much as Shalimar, to the lack of communication with the Psionic.  
  
She had felt baffled about their strange farewell one year and 14 days ago, quite opposite of what she and Jesse had expected. She questioned Brennan about that oddness but he'd only replied that it had been a moment of infamous idiocy from his side, a miserable failure of situation handling, and way before their departure, which if he only trusted his instincts, could have been easily avoided.  
  
Her thoughts did venture over to Emma as well. Shalimar had missed their girly chats, their long stays in the night, even casual confiding to one another. She was a good friend, Shalimar thought to herself and she missed her. If she only knew where Emma had been staying and Jesse for that matter, it would have made the fixing of the engagement of so many needed conversations easier.  
  
Yes, Shalimar did talk occasionally to Susanna, a friendly woman from Italy with a few extra pounds who lived just at the other side of the street; and then there was Eli, the always so talkative neighbor, forever worried about loosing her contact lenses, who never seemed to displace Shalimar's astonishment at the ability of this woman to be almost never empty with words. The Feral had talked with these women she had grown to consider as friends but it hadn't been the same as with Emma or Jesse. Good thing for Brennan..... he was still here at least. She still had him to lean on. It was because of him that Shalimar did not go with Jesse, despite the Molecular's wish to remain by himself. She loved Brennan, she knew that..... but to which extended did she experience that feeling?  
  
There was a sigh, as Shalimar took another sip of the tea and then returned the bottle back in the refrigerator. She should push herself to enter into a jogging routine for the next few hours. She did not need relaxing, easy exercises right now, they would drive her insane.  
  
When she began running on the surprisingly empty sidewalk with only a few pedestrians, thoughts of last night started reappearing again. It had been an argument very distant from enjoyable. They had gone at it for what seemed like 20 or so minutes until finally Shalimar and Brennan got tired of it and settled it in their own physical way - in the bedroom. And it had been an enormously enjoyable experience afterwards. Which brought a sad fact of truth over to her realization: their sexual experience was always more spiced up and closer to greatness when they would bring the anger from before into it. Not to let the gentle nights of love making be missed but these first ones had somehow been more deeply written into the mutants' memory. Shaking her head, the Feral picked up her pace and started running faster; she needed to sweat more.  
  
********* 


	5. chapter 5

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters from 'Mutant X'. They're not my property. They belong to Tribune Entertainment.  
  
***  
  
*********  
  
"Want some more ice cream?" the brunette with large blue eyes, leaned behind him and smiled.  
  
Jesse looked up at her. "Nah, thanks, Sarah," he responded and handed her the empty black bowl.  
  
"Alright but don't go complaining if you don't find anything left tomorrow," she teased and pushed herself off the soft surface.  
  
Jesse chuckled. "I'll be alright," he took the magazine which featured ideas and articles of exotic and some even places for summer or winter vacations.  
  
The Molecular had the luck to find a good place to settle at after his separation from the other Mutant X members. Sarah and Jim had been good friends of his for several years after he had helped them find a good and secure place away from Genomex. The couple had been on a run from Genomex after they had adopted a baby girl who happened to be an Elemental.  
  
The Letterins were more than happy to provide Jesse with a home after his ordeal, saying: he was welcome to stay for as long as he liked.  
  
Jesse knew that it would be ridiculous to take that offer literally despite that the Letterins almost adopted him and he had been like an uncle to little Eva. He would eventually return to the new Sanctuary..... or so he had hoped.  
  
As he flipped the colorful pages of the magazine he came across a picture of a wooden beach house and a young woman sitting on a chair next to the main door. He sighed. The woman tremendously reminded him of a dear friend. Jesse looked up and over to the phone. He remembered four days ago when Jim mentioned that a friend of his saw a woman resembling Shalimar in Wellington. But Jesse never took more thoughts to it. Many people look like others, it happens all the time.  
  
Returning his eyes to the picture, the blue color in them almost faded as he realized what he already was experiencing every day: he missed her terribly. Putting the magazine aside he then crossed his arms. "Maybe..." he started. "He's right?" An eyebrow was lifted. "Or not..." throwing his head back to the soft surface of the crème-colored chair, his eyes got temporarily stuck on the ceiling. "Why am I doing this?" he thought. "It's been a year, Jesse. Damn it, do something, don't just continue to sit on your ass like that!" he shook his head and closed his eyes.  
  
A year and still isolated from his friends. It had been enough, right? He received his solitude... in a way. All of them did. He took his lonely walks, he even succeeded in throwing off any thoughts from the past on some rare four days. What now? Sanctuary was approaching its final restoration but it was still not finished.  
  
The loneliness was catching up with him. He shouldn't been surprised really; it was bound to happen sooner or later. A year and 14 days... long time, especially when alone and having sad moments, memories weighing you down, forcing you to endure every minute of the day, no matter what tone it had. He needed her... he needed *them*.  
  
His blue eyes were uncovered again. "Wellington, eh?" he wondered.  
  
*********  
  
"Is this all yours?" Brennan asked, slowly spinning around on the white woolen rug beneath him.  
  
"No, I share it with a roommate," Emma responded, leaving her bag on the wooden table. "A girl roommate?" Lifting his eyebrows he showed a teasing grin.  
  
"Yes, but she's not going to be home tonight so there's little chance of a threesome happening. Sorry, Bren," she shrugged and giggled.  
  
"Shame. I was hoping for one." He rubbed his hands and then took off his jacket.  
  
Momentarily silence circled the room while the Elemental studied the living room a while longer which came as a surprise to Emma as Brennan had not been the type to pay too much attention to a room, especially one like this. Watching him move quietly with the rug's soft surface suffocating the louder disturbances of this silence, she tilted her head while her hands rested gently on her waist. She felt pleased that she was finally standing in the same room after such a long time with him but Emma also couldn't shake the rattling in her memory of the last encounter they've had... or departure. A doubtful sigh left her as she glanced at the floor and collapsed her left arm. "I'm just gonna go to be toilet. Be right back," she then said and quickly rushed over to the bathroom, shutting the door behind her.  
  
"Ok," Brennan didn't manage to speak out his reply as the Psionic had taken off too quickly. Not only was he taken away from his expectancy to meet her here but he was also taken by surprise at the greeting he received from her. Deep inside however, he had a few thoughts of their meeting happening like this, without any left over anger or childish stubbornness. Perhaps she had forgiven him for those comments of his one year ago. He had regretted his stupid words from that evening to such a level that there was a night when he they're created an insomnia for him: Shalimar had been sleeping peacefully on her side of the bed, her arm spread to his pillow as the dreams were circling inside her head while he was standing by the window, looking at her, thinking how lucky the Feral was to have that luxury to sleep to nicely.  
  
The night quickly turned into bright daylight when Brennan looked around the room again, feeling the fresh smell of laundry for some reason. From the many years they have been in the same place, Brennan had learned that Emma had grown quite forgiving of him even at times when the Telempath had threatened to kill herself rather than spend another minute with him in the same room.  
  
He wondered whether she had let that last night of theirs together out of her system or had it yet remained inside her head like it had just happened yesterday. Emma certainly didn't show any of it being still fresh and Brennan had hoped that he still knew her as well as he always had.  
  
Turning to his right, Brennan saw a pair of six wooden shelves with the space between the third and fourth being wide enough and the platform as well to suit a bigger television set. Looking up he saw the two first shelves tucked with books with no space left available and this made him smile. It was good to know that they still loved reading books. Putting his hand up, he touched the third green book but did not pull it out, only kept his fingers on it: a poetry book which he had given to Emma four years ago on her birthday. She seemed excited by it, he would remember. "At least she hadn't thrown it out just yet," he told himself and snorted, shaking his head.  
  
Removing his hand, his gaze traveled down and noticed two framed pictures on the third shelf. One was of all four of them. "Nice," he thought and sighed. He then looked at the other one and his eyes darkened sadly. Taking the frame in his hands, the Elemental looked at the picture with a heavy sigh. It was of Emma, standing next to Adam and Brennan next to him with the scientist hugging them both as all three were smiling back at the camera. Brennan couldn't remember when this was taken last, but the sight of his old friend and father figure struck inside his heart, sending a sad flow through his body, causing him to quickly put the frame back in its place.  
  
Brennan dropped his gaze down on the floor for a moment, trying to shake any memory of this away, knowing how much it would hurt if it emerged in his brain. Lifting his eyes, he traveled them a little to the right and noticed what were like five frames of different colors and sizes. There was a girl on them which he didn't recognize. "This must be the roommate," he thought. "Huh, she's not awful-looking." A smirk appeared. "Really a shame there was no chance for the threesome," he even joked out loud.  
  
Splashing water over her face, Emma leaned over the sink, letting the cold drops drip from her skin. She turned the tab off and grabbed the towel to wipe off the moisture. She did not feel disturbed, but simply needed something cold on her face and a little more time alone before she went back to that room to talk to the Elemental.  
  
Emma had still remembered that night well and perhaps because of its unanticipated appearance and the actual possibility of it happening, it had remained so fresh in her mind. She could sense Brennan's uncertainty about this through their trip to this apartment; his mind constantly going through the possible questions and answers about this as the Psionic hadn't shown any signs of that night interfering. Naturally they were overly excited to see one another after such a painfully long year and for the first half hour that had been the only thing present in their minds until Emma invited him to see her new 'headquarters'. Then the doubts about that night popped up on the surface.  
  
Brennan sat down on the green sofa and spread his arms on the velvet surface. He soon noticed Emma coming back to this room and with slow and quiet steps she approached the sofa, her eyes focused loosely on the Elemental before she crashed down next to him. He had to say it; the entire evening would be turned into a rotten feeling throwing in an uncomfortable atmosphere if he had remained quiet about it. The way Emma was looking back at him shoved the anticipated sentence even further up towards his mouth. "I'm sorry," he finally spoke it out.  
  
The glow in the Psionic's eyes enriched their color as she tired to seem unaffected by this sentence. "For what?" she asked.  
  
"For that night," he said, tapping his fingers once on the furniture surface.  
  
"Pick one," a giggle was intended but it did not come out.  
  
Perhaps he had wanted to laugh this sentence off if it hadn't been for the serious tone which the conversation was picking up. "You know which one I mean."  
  
"Yeah," Emma nodded once and looked on the side.  
  
Feeling her change of mood, Brennan leaned closer to the Psionic but still keeping normal distance from her, anything closer would only contribute to the tension yet to be released or perhaps prevented. He waited for her to look at him, for her, as he now could clearly see, nearly pale blue eyes to return to his browns. It took a minute to pass before she did what he had waited for. "To be honest with you, I've had doubts of whether you would be happy to see me after what I've said that night."  
  
His words started playing around in her head where there was a slight conflict of two kinds of feelings: clemency and childish obstinacy. Good thing or bad, the first feeling seemed to have a better chance of winning this struggle. "You did..." she tried to give a cool reaction.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Well... as you saw, I was happy to see you, Bren," she replied. The sun wanting to add something to this moment placed a warm ray of its light to lighten up the red color of her hair; it was almost glowing. "But it has been a year or so and that gave me... a lot of time to think many things over." She scratched her right forearm and pulled up the sleeve of her tight pink blouse.  
  
Brennan parted his lips as his head slightly tilted to the side. "So, have you..."  
  
"Forgiven you?"  
  
He nodded with hope.  
  
"What do you think," she lifted her arm and leaned her head on her palm. "Yeah, I have."  
  
A forever anticipated response had finally come true. Brennan wanted to smile but he did not have the strength for some reason.  
  
"Although..." Emma then started.  
  
There was that reason...  
  
"It did hurt what you said," she told him, the pain from that past secretly lingering in her words.  
  
"I know... I'm sorry..."  
  
"You knew what you were saying, you *meant* every word of that and that didn't go so well inside me."  
  
His eyebrows curved sadly. "I don't know why I said all that."  
  
"Maybe..."  
  
"It messed with my mind," it felt like interruption.  
  
"You had doubts in me, Bren... and when your closest friend accuses you of what you accused me..."  
  
"I know, Em... I'm an asshole at times, what can I say..." Brennan let his eyes travel across the naturally lit living room, the smell of fresh laundry still present.  
  
"Huh, you can say that again." She crossed her arms.  
  
Brennan looked back at her. He deserved to be blamed like this; he nearly had forgotten the number of times when Emma had let the emotional forgiveness make the decisions instead of the rational side. "Wish I didn't... if it didn't happen we wouldn't have said goodbye like some strangers."  
  
Emma's blues wandered behind Brennan, remaining there, giving the Psionic a lost look. "There was a good side as well though. It made the parting less painful than we had expected."  
  
"Um..."  
  
"Yeah, you don't agree, no surprise," she returned her eyes to him again.  
  
Brennan didn't detect any annoyance in her voice just the calm tone with a few drops of righteous hurt. "I've missed you, Em. I've missed you too damn much," he spoke sincerely.  
  
Emma picked up on it. Despite what had happened then, she did not feel any different from him when it came to this feeling. Maybe it was just her old self pushing inside to let the familiar forgiveness be the judge for the thousandth time. "Me too."  
  
"And I know it won't help if I say 'I'm sorry' a million times."  
  
"Yes, you're right."  
  
If he hadn't known her the way he did, Brennan would've taken this sentence of hers in a hurtful way. Instead he finally had managed to show a smile even though it was not a big one. Looking at her and how her hair had now seemed longer, Brennan received the urge to feel this Psionic's arms wrapped around him, giving him a strong friendly hug like she used to. "Is this forgiveness for real or are you just 'playing nice'?"  
  
"Unfortunately for me it's for real."  
  
Brennan nodded, pressing his lips tightly. A strange memory suddenly crashed before his eyes when he had one of the many opportunities to give this small young person a friendly comfort; how her wet face stared back at him, trying to desperately stop any more tears from arriving; how he gently ran his hand through that red hair, giving more exposure to her face. Emma was so special and fragile when she was in these states, much like him. He then blinked once, shattering the memory and encountering her peaceful, nearly glowing face, looking tamely back at him. Brennan could imagine how happy Shalimar would be to see her friend again... but he would mention that later. Right now this seemed more important: straightening the crooked mistakes.  
  
"What's terrible..." Emma started, "...is that I knew how much those words would hurt you later on, a second after you would leave my room. It hurt us equally; it's how it goes... Adam's death affected and changed us all." She shrugged. "We needed someone to blame, even though we never found Caleb, never knew who actually killed Adam..." her words were slowly letting the tearful hurt pour over them as the memories kept returning; her blue eyes being taken by the inside pressure, consciously covered by the unreleased tears. If Emma wasn't careful, she would let Brennan experience that memory of comfort once again.  
  
Nevertheless Emma let the eyes fall slowly on the pillow in front of her. The pain choked her, it did not let the Psionic give out any more words for a while, and she was numb. Just two weeks ago she remembered cursing the appearance of that, so to say, anniversary and the depression which came with the day. And after that she was alright, she was smiling and laughing as usual... but now, these sudden and most certainly far from welcomed memories rushed to the front once more, stirring the resentful bad feelings to resurface and ruin her normal day. Her eyes sprung up again and sent a sharp stare at the Elemental. It was his fault! Why did he have to remind her of this? Why did he? Why couldn't he have just... but no... her defenses crashed down just as soon as they came up. It wasn't his fault. You can not predict when such memories would attack you like this and prevent you from speaking.  
  
Her gaze softened, she suddenly weakened. She could sense those emotions from Brennan was well. They were both vulnerable to this. Still human, not immune to emotional pain... loss of people they've cared about, long and at times torturous distance from the closest of friends... all this had impact on their psyche. She then abruptly glued herself to him, wrapping her arms around him, burying her face in his neck, letting the tears fall and expresses her pain. It helped her more when the Elemental held her back and tightly, the way she desperately needed to be held.  
  
Sure, Mary was here for her, but she could not understand Emma's pain... no one could except for him. All the annoyance Emma might have had toward Brennan for that night when they both said hurtful words had now completely crashed. She let the returning pain weaken her. It was not in her control. Emma needed this greatly.  
  
Brennan closed his eyes as he could feel the skin on his neck absorbing the salty residue of her small and yet enormous tears. How her shoulders moved rhythmically up and down as her sobs were not covered by silence; the strength with which she held on to him, wanting to feel safe while her vulnerability was exposing. He felt her pain raw. He felt it in the same way because the same feelings were coming from him as well. Even her heart, beating faster and faster was felt both physically and emotionally... she had been that close to him.  
  
Brennan knew how much more intensely Emma had experienced everything from Adam's disappearance 'till now. And he would have been extremely amazed if she had managed to stay as strong as a stone because that wasn't like her. This was what had always attracted Brennan both to Emma and Shalimar - their enormous sensitivity, the giving away of the most gentle and also strong emotions. Even though it tortured inside that Emma was swimming in this emotional, perhaps, nightmare, he also felt in a way glad that she was letting go like this... he could still recognize that she needed this. And Brennan was pleased that he could at least be here for her for now. Emma didn't have the advantage which Shalimar did over this year; she did not have the shoulder of someone who had been through the same experience to cry on and in the end to help make the pain less intense.  
  
The sobs increased as he tightened his grip. "God... I miss him, Bren..." he heard her say and felt her struggle to speak out those words due to the large amount of tears. She was already trembling. "I miss him so much!" he heard her say again.  
  
What else could he do but let out a heavy sigh and kiss her soft hair before responding: "So do I, Em..." his voice not resistant to the emotional pressure despite his attempts to fight the showing but with little success. He felt that Emma needed someone strong for this but Brennan could still let himself go and expose his feelings, his weaknesses. Only Shalimar had seen him that way during this past year and he was grateful for her help and now he would try to keep his steadiness during Emma's sentimental release but it would be difficult. Their closeness challenged his ability to remain solid as a rock much to his expected approval.  
  
But Emma wouldn't mind. She would welcome that, Brennan knew. She always had.  
  
This first hour he would somehow be strong even though it would be difficult, he would give her the shield and security which she now lacked. Brennan would hold on. Emma deserved that as so many other things. After that, he would let go as well... show his own feelings....  
  
The comforting secrecy of the night was much welcomed now; it could shield them both and let them cry at ease. But it was daylight instead. Maybe later it would be easer....  
  
********* 


	6. chapter 6

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters from 'Mutant X'. They're not my property. They belong to Tribune Entertainment.  
  
***  
  
*********  
  
The incredible moisture in the air had unwillingly awakened her, as she sighed, looking up at the ceiling. It had been such a nice day today, the sun was shining as it was long expected to... they talked, they laughed, they cried, they embraced. The weather was beautiful. Now when she opened her eyes she saw the picture she wished would not appear for a long time. Rain drops falling quietly on the stained glass; the air – spreading the smell.  
  
As her eyes sparkled in the darkness towards the drops, their blue color replaced by pale black, Emma touched her chest and turned her head to the other side. Ever since last year she had grown less and less fond of the thunder, the aggressive rains, and the dark and heavy clouds. It always reminded her of something negative, something that always had the will to eat up the small samples of joy floating around her. She wanted it to go away. She wanted to see the moon shining, the stars sparkle, not this damn rain.  
  
How did it turn into this? How did the clouds manage to gather so quickly and let the rain pour on the streets, on the buildings... everything? Another sigh left her. It doesn't matter. "I can't control the weather, although I wish I could!" she told herself and closed her eyes to try and return to her slumber.  
  
It did not work. She pressed her eyelids hard on her eyeballs. The sudden insomnia did not disappear. "I wanna go back to sleep! Go back to sleep!" Emma kept saying to herself but none of that registered with her consciousness. "Damn it." She quickly sat up, leaning on her arms while slowly opening her eyes. Frustration would come soon if she let the forcefulness to dream to continue.  
  
Turning her head to her right, Emma noticed the drops becoming more frequent. "Maybe some tea..." she suggested to herself. "Anything hot." Her legs wanted to move but her eyes were fixated on the rain. Maybe there would be no thunder this time; maybe it'll be short, it'll be over soon. She did not notice it but her head had started to faintly shake. Watching this release of the night sky was getting to her nervous system. It was beginning to irritate her. Emma did not bother to wander about the strangeness of this change, the morphing of her attitude towards these simple drops of water. If she had, she would ask herself why was this happening; why was her mind loosing patience to this. She chose to stay ignorant to it.  
  
The moisture was touching her skin softly, exasperating it physically just as the drops were frustrating her emotionally. This tore off her gaze away and forced her entire body to get out of the bed and rush toward the kitchen. "Tea, tea, tea!" she kept mumbling to herself as she quickly turned on the light and pulled out a metal pot from the bottom cabinet, filled it with water and placed it on the stove. Crossing her arms she leaned slowly on the wooden counter whilst she waited. But the shadows from outside lured her eyes to the windows on her left. More rain drops and this time they were falling down with increasing speed. Feeling her teeth screech almost animal-like, the Psionic hurried to the windows and quickly covered them with the white curtains with small green dots she and Mary had bought the week before.  
  
She could now only see the shadows of the drops when a quick and sudden noise of thunder struck and echoed from the outside and into the entire apartment, raising the hairs on Emma's arms momentarily. She expected to jump from the sudden scare but instead remained where she was. A deep sigh. She then returned to the kitchen. Emma could still see the rain but at least not as raw as a few moments ago.  
  
Leaning once more on the counter, she took in a deep breath with a brief closure of her eyes before crossing her arms and fixating her blues on the pot which was only a couple of minutes away from giving hot water. Emma tried to distance herself from the unpredicted irritation towards the outside happenings of which she was beginning to make herself conscious.  
  
The tea was ready. Emma lifted the hot yellow mug close to her face, using the wrinkled edges of the cotton pajama sleeves as minimal protectors from the intensive warmth. The rising steam gave parts of itself to enter inside her nostrils and let the young woman feel the pleasant smell of mint. "Mm..." she sounded and touched the hot mug with her lips. Taking a quick sip she distanced her lips from the mug and felt the burning liquid travel down her throat. "Ah." Her lips parted. "Good." She nodded.  
  
Now she could return to her room. This hot tea would ease her body and especially her nervous system enough to let Emma return to her slumber. As she walked, her gaze was fixed on the floor as she had wanted to avoid eye- contact with the windows and the traces of some escaped tiny shadows on the floor itself. Stepping softly she was passing by one of the rooms when she noticed the door was left open. Small turn of curiosity as to why let her eyes land gently on the body in the bed at the very end of the room. Emma reached for the handle when her senses told her to stop that action. She listened; she did not close the door. Instead she, as quietly as she possibly could, entered the room. The curiosity now changed with the person in the bed being its target.  
  
"Peaceful," was the first thought inside her head as Emma's eyes traveled softly on Brennan's sleeping face. There was short envy inside her because this change of weather did not disturb his sleep as it did hers.  
  
Towards the end of their conversation, Emma had offered Brennan to spend the night here since his flight was due tomorrow and he had no place to stay. A hotel was out of the question. Mary wouldn't mind that he slept here, Emma was confident because the Psionic was sleeping in Mary's room. She should have put him on the couch but somehow the soft part inside her begged her to give him a more comfortable place: soft sheets, deep pillows.  
  
Watching the moving shadows on his dark face and uncovered torso gave Emma a temporary cover from the rain. The blue bed sheet was tossed on the side while the white one only covered his abdomen. The Elemental slept soundly on his back with left his hand finding its place on his smooth chest, rested there for a few moments before it touched the mattress. Emma smiled but some thoughts still lingered inside. The unwanted memory of that night returned when she experienced more in front of her, the walls changing, and his face appeared once more. Those words... they were harsh and they were meant. Getting unsettling Goosebumps, Emma bit her lower lip and shut her eyes to chase away that memory. She said she had forgiven him for that night, all those ugly words which fell out of his mouth. But has she really? Have the feelings deep and deeper inside which had refused to let go of that stubborn disappointment finally disappear or were they merely silenced for a few hours....  
  
The memory was finally crashed thanks to the warmth of the tea which was still transmitting itself through the ceramic mug. An unsatisfactory exhale was released as she realized the forgiveness in words was only a mask to hide the truth that her healing process would take longer. Another person would look at her and think of the stupidity of this situation, the Psionic's subconscious decision to hold onto an even from so long ago and even more tightly of her refusal for a true verdict of forgiveness. "The people who love you can always hurt you more deeply and easily than anyone else... it's just the way it has always been. Let it go, Emma..." a voice inside her pleaded. "He hurt you, your best friend and he threw such untrue words, such accusations at you! Stay the way you are. He doesn't deserve pity," another voice warned her.  
  
Emma shook her head. She did not want to think about this. She needed sleep. She did not need more confusion, more reasons for stay awake and waste that time for thinking *this* over. Silence and dreams - that was what she wanted now. Emma threw those thoughts away, she shut the voices out. Another time... not tonight, she decided.  
  
But then the Psionic saw Brennan tossing franticly in the bed, trying to breathe. This alarmed her as Emma placed the mug on the nearby table and kneeled next to the edge of the bed. Grabbing his shoulders she first had attempted to keep him still, while calling him with a middle tone. "Bren? Bren, wake up!" she kept repeating but the Elemental did not appear to respond to her calls, instead he kept tossing nervously in the bed, his skin slowly releasing tiny drops of sweat.  
  
Several more useless attempts forced the Psionic to come up with another solution. She did not know about the frequent repetitive appearance of the nightmares; Brennan mentioned nothing of it. She took in a small amount of air and hoped this could work. Emma never attempted this with Brennan before so she did not know if there could be a possible success to it. Closing her eyes, she concentrated and let her senses slowly reach into his consciousness, his mind.  
  
"So this is how it feels to be a part of someone's dream," she thought. But the moment she managed to reach deeper inside, something thick and black had started to choke her. She heard screams with different variations and saw red and gray shadows flying before her. This was not a dream she realized as the moment the shadows touched her they shrunk the space between her and the black matter causing her respetorial system to have trouble functioning.  
  
Emma began struggling to breathe normally but every try led nowhere only towards worse. She had to pull out, this was too much and not within her control.  
  
She yanked herself as quickly and harshly as she could and ended up falling on the red woolen carpet. Finally feeling her lungs returning their normal capability to filtrate air, Emma sucked in as much as she could as if it was her last chance. Her chest rose and fell as quickly as that of a small bird and her eyes bulged open, staring at the dark ceiling. At least the curtains were closed so the rain could not bother her so much.  
  
After returning her normal tempo of breathing, Emma sat up and focused her eyes back at Brennan. "What in hell was that?" she asked herself and kneeled once more next to the Elemental who was still trapped in that nightly torture. "Ok..." Emma took another breath and placed her hands gently on Brennan's left arm before closing her eyes. She wouldn't go so deep this time. She would touch only the thinner places. Emma made the mistake of going directly towards the centre, that's why she got pulled in so easily and quickly.  
  
Her fingers could already feel his wet skin and the shivers coming unwillingly. She decided to try again but this time more safely. Slowly she projected an image of a young seagull flying peacefully over a motionless surface of an ocean. It worked once, maybe.....  
  
There were some rejections, difficulty in the acceptance of this tamed picture but in the end the Psionic smiled. "Yes..." she whispered. He was slowly giving in. His heart accepting this was shifting to its normal rate, his breathing - more settled and his body – comfortably still. The shaking disappeared immediately and when she uncovered her blue eyes she saw the Elemental sleeping normally and one might say – happily. Bringing her right hand to his forehead she slowly wiped the sweat or as much as she could from it and leaving a shorter glance at his tamed breathing Emma afterwards raised herself on her legs and then her smile faded. Turning around she took the tea that by now had felt less hot and quickly approaching cold. Slowly and soundlessly Emma walked out of the room and without saying anything, closed the door carefully behind her. A short sigh and the next destination: back to Mary's room.  
  
Feeling the soft surface of the sheets beneath her behind, Emma took a few sips from the tea and swallowed them with tiresome enjoyment. Shaking her head, she unsympathetically forbid herself to let any thoughts about her current relationship and possible future turbulences with Brennan disturb her. She desperately needed her mind to drown into the carefree world of slumber and tranquility.  
  
Staring at the dark liquid in the mug, Emma bit her lip and shut her eyes tightly. Her ears and nose detected the continuing falling of those feared rain drops and the amount had grown even more as if to deliberately raise the hairs on her skin and let her irritation progress. With closed eyes she tasted the tea and concentrated on the warmth it provided when it filled the inner hallways of her body. It should have felt great, it should have felt perfect but somehow the rain didn't let it, washing the warmth away with its coldness.  
  
Bursting her eyelids open, Emma knocked her head back for her blues to be facing the ceiling. "This is so stupid," she hissed to herself and without supervision placed the mug on the nightstand. "Don't be such a child, Emma. Just go to sleep!" she said and quickly buried herself beneath the sheets and snuggled into the deep pillows.  
  
The tea had smoothened her after all as she could gradually feel it working on her nerves and her previous 'adventure' with Brennan gave in room for some hungered-for tiredness to begin its appearance. She placed a pillow over her head to choke the sound of the rain drops. Emma would go to sleep. The sweet weariness would make sure of that.  
  
********* 


	7. chapter 7

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters from 'Mutant X'. They're not my property. They belong to Tribune Entertainment.  
  
***  
  
*********  
  
Jesse stepped off the no.7 bus and stood at that spot while thinking towards which direction he should go. It had been warmer than he expected as he took off his jacket and thought of forming a smile because of the weather.  
  
When he began walking, the Molecular begun to wonder of how close he was to insanity of trusting some mile word from a person he did not even know.  
  
His eyes took a brief glimpse of the clear morning sky and the picture kept, what at first was intended to be a short, smile. Desperation, was the first thought in his mind about it. Then Loneliness followed and shortly after - yearning. Physically he had been surrounded by nice people, starting with the Letterins but inside he was beginning to be absorbed by the feeling that he was trapped in a small dark room. all by himself. This feeling gave him quick shivers and if it hadn't been for the warmth of the day, Jesse would have continued to be subjected to that coldness generating from his thoughts.  
  
Perhaps he should not bother about this at all but his heart would not put him to rest. Jesse rubbed his nose with his fingers as he felt the connection he had with his friends and especially Shalimar after the passing of such long time. Then he stopped. Whether insane or not he was already here. It would be a waste to not use this time and in the very least have a look here and there and if he would return empty-handed, at least the chance of enjoying some of the sites of Wellington on such a day, would remain.  
  
"Gosh, where do I start?" he wondered as his fingers gripped the black surface of his jacket that rested between his hip and his right hand.  
  
"Excuse me," a gentle female voice interrupted his musing.  
  
The Molecular turned around to notice two young women in their early twenties.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"What time is it?" they asked him.  
  
"Err..." he glanced at his watch. "7:15," he responded.  
  
"Thanks," they smiled and walked passes him.  
  
As he turned around, Jesse watched the women for awhile and threw his jacket on the other hand to serve as a hanger. They appeared as they were from this place and he should have asked *them* for directions... a sigh appeared, if he only knew where he was going. He continued walking forward and after some minutes took a left turn.  
  
He was soon greeted by a wide but darker space surrounded by brick walls of the buildings. Something which barely moved at the darkest corner to the far right caught the attention of his eyes. Jesse heard a quiet moan. He tried to adjust to the fading light as he quickly ran over to the moving, perhaps, person. The moment he stood closely enough, his eyes widened as he crouched on the ground that was giving the smell of stale water and something else not quite recognizable. "Shal?" The words were quickly pulled out of his mouth when he placed his hands softly on the female's small body.  
  
The blonde let out another quiet moan and struggled to summon up enough strength to lift her head to give her eyes the chance to see the person next to her. Unfortunately she did not have good amount of that same strength to let it get to her hands so she could separate her body from the smelly ground. "Ah..." her eyes were fighting against her eyelids that wanted to cover them. "Jess...?" She appeared to be in pain and the traces of the tiny straight bloody lines on her forehead and chin confirmed it even more clearly.  
  
This was not how Jesse had expected to see his dear friend. Of course he had little familiarity to expect but this... this was something completely absent from his mind. Taking her upper body with his hands, he slowly but carefully sat on the ground and placed her on his lap as Shalimar appeared too weak to stand up. He wanted to hug her, kiss her cheek and her forehead, tell her everything, but this unexpected circumstance threw all of that away. Jesse would have to save his greetings for later... much later.  
  
"What happened?" he asked slowly.  
  
"I...ah..." she touched her head and when her small finger accidentally touched one of the tiny traces of blood on her forehead, Shalimar shut her eyes. It stung horribly, more than it normally should. If she hadn't felt so exhausted, she would have questioned the intensity of that pain. The sudden sting increased her need of air while her eyes remained shut. "They surprised me..." her voice seemed rough yet weak as she spoke.  
  
When she lowered her left hand it was then that Jesse noticed her right one was covered in blood entirely. This disturbed him. Perhaps it would have been better if the light had disappeared from this corner right now but unfortunately it was still present there, though feeble, it gave him the opportunity to notice the state of Shalimar's body or at least the most obvious. "Shit..." he whispered and not being able to stand this sad site, he carefully lifted his friend while he stood up. His forelegs could still feel the moisture from the ground and even its stubbornness to remove itself and instead remain close to his skin. Somehow he managed to nest her safely in his arms. Ah, this would have been so much easier for Brennan, he at least was bigger. "Ok, I'm go-..." he began but as his eyes landed on her face he noticed her lost battle to stay awake.  
  
He should get her somewhere warmer and drier.  
  
*********  
  
Emma yawned as the feeling of expected boredom was overtaking her. Tapping her foot on the purple tiled floor she placed her hands behind her back, almost pressing them against her thick brown top with "Wild" written on the front with huge white letters. She hugely disliked empty days like this because of their moments: boring and at times close to murder.  
  
The Psionic worked as a salesgirl in a small clothes shop at the local mall for these last ten months. She had to have money to pay for the rent somehow and having had previous experience at these places, Emma took the job. It wasn't as bad as she had expected it to be, there were surprisingly a lot of nice customers, most of them of older age.  
  
Looking slowly over to the far right corner where the new colorful summer dresses were placed she saw a young woman with purple hair in a pony tail eyeing up a bright red number while the young man, obviously her boyfriend with almost platinum hair color, was trying to conceal his tremendous boredom. Emma had to giggle. She knew pretty well what agonizing activity this was for the male sex, especially if their companion just happened to be female who would spend hours simply observing one piece of clothing. The Psionic had wanted to feel sorry for the young man but instead she turned around and walked over to the register.  
  
Emma then noticed Brennan walking towards her. "Still nothing?" she asked him.  
  
"No, she still must be out," he responded and leaned on the yellow surface. Brennan had tried to call Shalimar several times that morning but no answer was returned.  
  
They had both overslept, Emma due to her delayed fall to slumber and Brennan as he put it: 'a sudden transformation into a pleasant dream', making him miss his flight. He decided to try a later flight.  
  
"So, err this must be fun for you," he said while observing the shop.  
  
"Oh yeah... I'm having a blast," she sounded less cheerful than she should have had.  
  
Brennan noticed this. "What happened last night?" he asked her.  
  
Emma never told him. She did not feel it had been a wise idea to reveal to him. "It's just stupid," she thought and turned her head. "Ah, I already told you this morning," she said out loud.  
  
"Insomnia?"  
  
"Yep." Emma nodded.  
  
"The entire night?"  
  
"Almost, yeah."  
  
"Huh, ok." He believed her with some reluctance which Emma could sense well.  
  
The Psionic avoided his look for a couple of seconds. She would even have to throw in her strange although brief irritation towards the rain if she was to begin telling him the event of last night. Emma considered this attitude in the direction of such an element of nature as 'stupid'... it would have been of little use to even try and explain it. She did not get as much sleep as she had hoped and she felt too tired to throw blames around. Instead, tonight would be an early night for her.  
  
*********  
  
He finally sat on the chair to let his strength build up once again. It had gotten dark by now with no plain picture of the previous bright sky. The time always passes much more slowly and agonizingly when something is troubling a person. And now he was that victim. Jesse placed the chair in such direction so his eyes would have a clear and und hopefully an undisturbed view of Shalimar who had been resting on the couch for the last hour, still asleep.  
  
Her left hand resting gently on the pillow, close to her face where the required bandages were added; even in her sleep she still appeared tired. "Ah, how many were there?" he asked himself while observing the sleeping Feral. The golden locks settled soundly on her right shoulder and the surface beneath her face; at one point she even inhaled with such depth that the Molecular thought she must've had a temporarily shortage. Apart from that moment, everything else appeared calm and normal and her chest moving slightly to the circulation of the oxygen through her seemed sweet in a way. If only the occasional crude noise of passing vehicles did not appear, this would have been a very settled, peaceful image of his dear friend.  
  
But... even with the thickest silence, his unsettled emotions would not cease. Jesse felt more than relieved that Shalimar was here in some way alright, her health still good but he was curious about what happened. He needed to know.  
  
It had been a year since he had seen her last and except for the visible bruises and some other slight wounds she appeared exactly the same. He had missed her. Jesse missed all of his friends and team mates but Shalimar somehow had always managed to remain in that bigger and perhaps even secret place in his heart. He wished he hadn't seen her like this - wounded and exhausted. He felt angry at her attackers. He always did, every time someone would dare to harm her. Of course Shalimar had always been the sole protector and even at time possessive of everyone but perhaps she could tell how Jesse could get. Selfishness? No. His sensitive nature would sometimes give that impression but it had not been so had events such as this one never appeared.  
  
He did not see Brennan. Perhaps he had to leave somewhere. "It doesn't matter...no, wait. It does matter! Where was he? Sure, Shalimar is more than capable of taking care of herself but he could have helped!" he sighed annoyingly but soon gave rest to this uneasiness. The only wish right now he has was for her to recover quickly. The rest. she would tell him.  
  
He then saw her move her right hand away from her hip as a quiet moan was heard. Her chin was raised an inch and her eyes slowly opened. After blinking a couple of times she stared at the spot on the wall in front of her like a lost little girl. Moving her gaze gradually to the right she stopped at the figure of the young man. She had still felt exhausted but nevertheless she could conjure up at least a faint smile. "Jess." she spoke quietly.  
  
The Molecular rushed to kneel next to her, giving his right hand to rest at the end of Shalimar's pillow and the other one on her left hand. "Hi..." he had to smile back. She always managed to make him smile. "How do you feel?"  
  
"Um..." she searched for his eyes with a weak signal but at least they had strength million times bigger than the one of her body. Shalimar took a while to answer. "Better to see you now," was her response and her tone not going to a farther distance to be heard than that of where Jesse was.  
  
Placing his left hand on her hair, Jesse began stroking it gently. He was always the type of person to be sick with worry and that had been the subject of Shalimar's teasing a number of times. Her hair was so soft, he thought while looking in her eyes. "I missed you," he told her, trying to keep his own tone on the same level as her.  
  
"Aww... have you..." the faint smile somehow managed to get slightly bigger as the Feral moved her hand up to his cheek. "You're always too much the worry type, Jesse..." she took in a long breath and an even longer pause before she said: "you're like a girl with that, you know?" she teased him and was on the verge of releasing laughter when her weak condition stopped her. She felt innerved by this temporarily handicap but she did not want to show it... for a while she would feel scared. Yet, it was good that it was he who was here now. The exposure of her vulnerability was safe in front of him. "But I've missed you also, Jesse... so much," she finally said.  
  
He could not help himself. Wrapping his arms around her tightly, he embraced his friend. A year is too long... much too long.  
  
It was perhaps twenty minutes which dragged on like this. There were no words between them and the only thing present was the physical warmth from the embrace. After the separation, he sat down on the floor, not letting go of her hand which just earlier was drenched in red blood. "What happened?" he then asked. He had to know. He would ask about Brennan later.  
  
Shalimar gazed at him with her dark eyes. "They were only four..." she began. "But they were not human... it wasn't agents... they were some sort of mutants. They...ah... yes, they looked human but they weren't. They were too strong..." she closed her eyes. "It was hard, they wanted to kill me. But they were called off... I saw someone standing behind them a meter away." Her eyelids squeezed hard on her eyes, they were preparing for a tear. "I..." her lips were of a doubt whether to remain open or closed as she had wanted to tell. A deep sigh followed. "I think I saw him... if it hadn't been daylight I wouldn't have but I think I saw him."  
  
"Who?"  
  
Shalimar opened her eyes which were now covered with the salty liquid. "Adam," she said.  
  
********* 


	8. chapter 8

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters from 'Mutant X'. They're not my property. They belong to Tribune Entertainment.  
  
***  
  
*********  
  
Jesse's gaze was overtaken by a sad darker color when he heard her response. Lifting his hand he gently stroke Shalimar's hair and said: "Shal, it's been a while..." he began but the Feral cut him off.  
  
"No, I did see him, Jesse! He stood right there, behind them!"  
  
"Adam."  
  
"Yes! He... argh!" Shalimar wanted to raise herself from the couch but the sudden heavy pounding inside her head made it not possible. Touching her head, her thin fingers once again felt her scars but despite the protection which they had, she still felt the pain like a sharp sting. "Damn it!" she got annoyed and closed her eyes.  
  
"Easy, Shal." Jesse took her by the shoulders and slowly lowered her down.  
  
When she opened them, they were still watery as a sudden hope whether useless or not was building up. "He stood there, I did see him."  
  
"Traumatic experiences do have a way of clashing with the vision of your mind."  
  
"It was him, I..." she sighed, "I'm sure that it was him."  
  
Hearing her speak like this, the Molecular felt sorry for his friend. He knew the pain of losing Adam would never disappear. "She still sees him... this is not a good sign," he shook his head and then told her. "Adam's gone, Shal. It's been a year... not an easy one but..." he allowed himself to take a small pause otherwise the stinging grief would very easily resurface once again and that was the last thing he would need; Jesse had it every single minute with him like an irritating companion for 4 months and it made him feel as if he had been swallowed in a cold and black hole. He did not wish to go back to that. "We'll never let it go but... "  
  
"Jesse! I saw him!" She insisted as her teeth showed themselves almost angrily in front of him.  
  
"I'm sure you did, these bastards have hurt you pretty bad and..."  
  
But she kept interrupting him, trying to present her point clearly even though it had little if none at all effect. "I didn't imagine him. How could I imagine him, especially with that situation?"  
  
"Yes, but it's impossible, Shalimar. We found him... we buried him, you were there. You saw it all." He spoke with a soft and soothing tone. "He's gone," he turned this last word into a whisper.  
  
Shalimar stared at him with eyes which were slowly releasing two tears that began to gently slide down on her soft cheeks like small rivers, leaving wet marks of unexpressed melancholy. Those tears affected her breathing as she took in an exceedingly deep breath. Looking at his pale blue eyes and how the artificial yellow light had painted itself on the skin around those eyes, making them surprisingly darker than but still as intense as they should have been. She could easily pick up on his compassion, something which the Feral had always felt fortunate to experience. His eyes were always friendly and comforting; she stared long and profoundly into them. Those eyes spoke to her much more intensely than his words. Another deep inhale followed and she slowly nodded. "Yes, I did... perhaps you're right." She was beginning to give in.  
  
"I am, believe me." He kissed her cheek.  
  
"But it felt real... god!" her eyes closed. "Why did it feel so real?" The tears fell but the sobbing did not appear.  
  
"Because he's still there in each of us. It's difficult to stop it from appearing in front of you."  
  
She looked at him with a gaze that was drowning in the sad and unforgettable past. It made him swallow bitterly as the look affected him down to the bottom of his heart. "I know how you feel. I've felt it as well... it sucks because it hurts so much but it happens because we were so close."  
  
Shalimar remained silent for now. She stared, although with a color so pale in her eyes, otherwise great intensity at her friend. She was forever grateful to Brennan who did not leave her through that torturous year, although Shalimar knew that he would have had lesser chances of fighting those demons of increasing grief on his own; it helped her. But hearing Jesse speak, although of a subject so painful to her heart, she was more aware with each word from his mouth just how incomplete she had been without him and without Emma. They were like family.  
  
"This only proves it. I think we've had enough time apart from each other," he finally said and suddenly felt her tight embrace.  
  
"I agree," her choked voice was heard as she buried her face in the soft piece of clothing which covered his shoulder. "I've missed you so much, Jesse!"  
  
The Molecular closed his eyes and sat at the edge of the couch, taking Shalimar in his arms. "So did I," he whispered.  
  
"You're gonna stay tonight, right?" the desire in her voice was obvious and almost desperate.  
  
"Of course," he confirmed. And right then, the sound from outside had ceased as if it to give them the silence which they needed. Jesse and Shalimar had only their own breathing to listen to tonight; and they needed each other greatly tonight. They needed each other badly.  
  
*********  
  
The rectangular-shaped clock showed the time with the small red handle approaching the line which marked 45 minutes and the large red handle stood steadily between the numbers 11 and 12 when the phone rang. This startled Jesse who immediately opened his eyes. Feeling larger weight and warmth on his chest, he looked down and was met by the strange and even unpleasant smell of Shalimar's hair. He should have nagged on her to take a shower but he knew she needed rest. She had explained earlier what had happened to her and he only wrapped his arms around her when he remembered, feeling her warm body, gluing itself even more tightly to his. There was an invisible smile on her face, he could tell as she rested her left hand on his chest. The annoying ringing sound shattered the silent image of the Feral, forcing Jesse to remove his eyes from her and search for the phone which luckily was placed on the small table right next to the couch. At least he did not have to stand up and ruin the peaceful slumber of his friend. "Hello?" he whispered.  
  
There was a thick temporarily silence before Brennan's voice was heard. "Jesse?"  
  
"Yeah, it's me. Hey, Brennan." The Molecular was pleased to hear his friend but also a little annoyed at his absence. "Where the fuck were you?" he had wanted to ask but the situation was all but right for that.  
  
"Ah man, you're good? Why are you whispering?"  
  
"Because she's asleep." Jesse glanced at Shalimar and placed his hand on her back.  
  
"Shal? She's there?"  
  
"Yeah. She's had a rough day."  
  
"What happened?" The long greetings could wait for later.  
  
"She was attacked today," he whispered calmly.  
  
"What? By whom?" The distress in his voice was raised.  
  
"She doesn't know, some four but strange mutants. She's alright now."  
  
"Ok, well stay there I'm coming now!"  
  
"Where are you?"  
  
"I'm near Washington at Emma's place."  
  
"Emma? She's with you?"  
  
"Yeah, but we'll come as soon as..."  
  
"No, you can come tomorrow morning. I can stay here the night."  
  
"Alright. Thanks, Jesse! We'll be there as soon as we can." Some small ruffling was heard and then a female voice. "Jesse, hi," it was Emma.  
  
The Molecular smiled from the sound of his friend's voice. "Hey, Em. How are you?" he asked her.  
  
"I'm happy to hear you but also worried as hell about Shal, is she ok?"  
  
"Yeah, she's sleeping at the moment."  
  
"Good... well I'm not going to keep you. I will see you tomorrow. I can't wait I've missed you."  
  
"So have I, Emma," Jesse glanced at the painting of a young girl at the other end of the room. The shadows which were emerging from behind some of the close by objects were playing with the colorful canvas as if wanting to smudge the paint.  
  
"Good night."  
  
"Good night." He closed the phone and kissed Shalimar's head. The unpleasant smell which continued to emerge from her hair was almost unregistered by his brain as the warmth which he was receiving from Shalimar, drowned the unpleasantness. He would see the others tomorrow and it would be complete but right now he enjoyed the selfishness, the wish for him to be the only one here with the Feral. Jesse missed her incredibly and he hoped that this silent night, meant only for the two of them would compensate for some of the most painful months he had to endure... if only she had been awake. He did not want to disturb her dreaming however and drain more of her strength. Her exhaustion even brought more intense images of Adam, which was only an unnecessary torture to her psyche. Jesse had thought of removing her clothes and changing them with cleaner ones but he lacked the courage for that; perhaps he would be braver when the situation would reach a higher level of seriousness.  
  
Tomorrow he will be reunited with Emma and Brennan and they would probably spend the rest of the time discussing the possible attackers of Shalimar. It will be grueling.  
  
It was incredibly quiet outside, his ears suddenly picked up on it; perhaps even strange for this time but Jesse didn't mind. He wouldn't be able to stand the annoying sound of cars at the moment; this silence suited the gentle mood more.  
  
"Pleasant dreams," he whispered to her and leaned his head back on the soft pillow. His eyelids slowly covered his blues, with the help of the coming tiredness, sending this young person to join his friend in the dreams.  
  
********* 


	9. chapter 9

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters from 'Mutant X'. They're not my property. They belong to Tribune Entertainment.  
  
***  
  
*********  
  
Leaning on her palm, her blue eyes watched the movement of Brennan's fingers along his arm; if they moved any deeper he would surely rip out a chunk of his flesh.  
  
"What's wrong?" she saw him open his mouth with the readiness to answer but Emma cut him off. "It's something else besides Shalimar?"  
  
His dark browns turned to her with hidden uneasiness that observed her for a few moments before he responded. He could tell her, she might understand. Shalimar tried but it did not help him, they did not go away. Seeing her big blue eyes staring patiently at him, the Elemental gave a ready sigh and then said: "Last night I had this nightmare... but it suddenly switched to something else."  
  
"Something more pleasant?" Emma's voice was low.  
  
"Yeah. It hasn't happened to me before," he said.  
  
Emma swallowed. Should she tell him? It would be for the best; a secret like that would resurface sooner than it could be hoped for. "I did it," she quickly told him.  
  
Brennan's lips were closed and he stopped his fingers from moving. "Well... I'm not going to ask how, but..."  
  
"I couldn't sleep last night and I passed by *my* room and saw that you were having that bad dream," she put her hands together, gripping them with her fingers as tightly as she could; her skin had gone pale where the pressure had been applied. She knew that he wanted to know the steps she took to give him a good night's sleep. "I wanted to actually see what was happening in there but it wasn't a pleasant experience for me when I tried," a failed attempt for a smile appeared.  
  
"What happened?" he crossed his eyes.  
  
"Just me being less careful than usual," the attempt was bigger now. She would not tell him of the closeness which she had to fainting. "The images were so scary and all that it freaked me out so intensely and I had to pull out quickly and try a different approach and luckily... it worked." She lifted her shoulders.  
  
"Thanks." He nodded. "That was a rare night for me," Brennan stretched out his hands and pulled Emma closer to him, embracing her as his sign of gratitude. This little Psionic had managed to chase those tormenting and exasperating images for a night when he had needed the strength for the next day; the nightmares always managed to drain him from almost half of his strength which went to his psyche to try and fight them away and every time he would lose.  
  
Emma smiled. She felt even her heart smile to the knowledge that she had done something good for her friend. Departing from him, she tapped his hand and leaned back. They had already exhausted the previous hour of a conversation revolving around Shalimar; they would have gone to see her right now if it hadn't been for Jesse's words that indirectly warned them to keep away for tonight. Emma sensed that somehow; she did not blame the Molecular. He had wanted to stay with the Feral that night, to be alone with her. Emma knew that he had missed Shalimar the most and that he would want to experience the quietness of the night with her where no one would disturb them, when no one would dare. Tomorrow they would return and he would see her with Brennan again. Emma wondered if he had been upset that Brennan hadn't been there. Perhaps she should have let the nightmare in his head continue so he wouldn't have over slept and missed the flight? No, that would have been wrong. At least the Feral had been well, Emma had hoped, and she helped Brennan. "Do they happen often?" she asked the tall Elemental.  
  
His face turned for his eyes to gaze in front of him. "Almost every night since we left Sanctuary," he spoke with upcoming irritation but the thick disappointing melancholy was not going to allow that.  
  
"Are they all the same?"  
  
Brennan nodded in response.  
  
"And you don't know what's causing them."  
  
"No, I don't." He spread his arms on the couch. "But I wish I did, most times I feel like throwing chairs against the walls. It's so fucking irritating."  
  
Emma folded her arms while watching every little expression his calm face was making. Her thought about those nightmares was simply the traumas he and the others had the unfortunate privilege of going through but she realized a second afterwards that there was more to it. This didn't seem natural or healthy. It was how savagely the dark images had sucked her inside with the perhaps, surprising, intention of suffocating her to death; dreams couldn't do that, no matter how evil and tormenting they appeared; they simply did not have that power.  
  
It had been the safe thought of Jesse's watchfulness over Shalimar which did not let Emma's feelings drift too far away into the theme about their friend's safety. However, it had proven difficult to not have her thoughts there, so close by. It was then that Brennan and Emma exchanged sudden looks; they were both worried about their friend. Of course they would be. "We know that he won't let anything happen to her," Emma reassured them both - Brennan and herself.  
  
"Yeah," he nodded once with agreement, "I know," and leaned forward exhaling extensively. His hands moved across his dark hair which seemed like nothing else but a dead piece of chalk, oddly enough; finally his forearms found themselves supporting his upper body on his knees as he stared in front of him once again. "I can't wait to see her," he spoke with honesty but with an intention which was more of guilt rather than the more expected approach, considering their relationship.  
  
Emma was slightly surprised by this feeling which she sensed but she brushed it off as insignificant; they loved each other and the Psionic with all the sincerity inside her, could not picture him with anyone else. "I can't wait either," she had wanted to say but it would have sounded musty if she did so she chose momentarily silence instead.  
  
They could hear the quiet moving of the clock's hands. Emma felt that it would become irritating so she picked up the remote from the table and started the CD player. The quiet instrumental melody had begun from the speakers. Putting the remote back, she leaned her head back and stared at the ceiling. Jesse would take care of Shalimar tonight; Emma sensed that Brennan trusted that as well. The redhead sighed; it seemed less lonely tonight; he made it less lonely; it hadn't been much different when Mary was here but somehow it felt better. "I'm sorry again." She heard him say. "About?"  
  
"What I said that night."  
  
There was a smirk. "And I've already told you that I've forgiven you." Something solid hit inside her, caused by this sentence; she hadn't forgotten her realization during the night when her blues were observing Brennan's sleeping body.  
  
"Why does it sound so odd when I heard it now?" he took a doubt.  
  
"How did he sense that?" she wondered. "Just your imagination, Bren, it's just your imagination," it was said with a pinch of, what Emma had hoped - unnoticed, humor. She would keep that inside her still. Perhaps with time it will disappear and she wouldn't have to reveal that she had unconsciously lied to him that night.  
  
Brennan took a glimpse of Emma. Maybe he had imagined the barely noticeable falseness in her sentence. But how did they distance themselves from the topic about his constant nightmares? Tonight did not appear at all that perfect night for such a discussion although he had desperately wished to know the root of those irritating nightmares; the thoughts of their injured friend kept getting in their way despite the previously exhausted topic and despite the small ease provided by the knowledge that Jesse was watching out for her which, at least for a short while, reigned. Another glimpse; he was still thankful to Emma for getting rid of those evil images if only for one night. Brennan squeezed his lips together while something else began lurking in his head. If she helped him once maybe she could... no, he wouldn't ask her again, not in that way at least. "Em?" he called softly over to her.  
  
"Mm?" she lifted her head and her blues fixed on his eyes.  
  
"Would you..." he turned his face to stare at his hands for a few short seconds before letting out a much more heavier sigh. "Odd request but... wanna sleep with me tonight?"  
  
Emma's eyes widened as much as they could to this demand.  
  
"No, no, I don't mean it in that way! Don't worry, sex is the *last* thing on my mind right now! And with you especially."  
  
"Gee, thanks," and threw her head back on the pillow once again.  
  
"I just mean... to share a room with me?"  
  
She lifted her head again. Emma didn't have to ask for a reason, she knew he would give it to her.  
  
"I know it's weird, but I would like for you to be in the same room with me tonight. It won't accomplish anything but still it's ..."  
  
"Ok." She nodded when seeing his almost ridiculous search of words for something she could already sense all too clearly.  
  
A relieved smile, although small, appeared on his face. "Thanks."  
  
"You're welcome, Bren." She stood up. "Gonna go prepare the nest," she smiled and walked towards the other rooms.  
  
*********  
  
He had woken up at 4 in the morning. His eyes opened and were allowed to travel around the limited picture of the ceiling with its gray and black shadows dancing around. Insomnia. a sigh was produced. He didn't need this interruption of his slumber, not now. As he swallowed a few drops of saliva through his dry throat, Brennan realized that he hadn't woken up because of a nightmare; there was no nightmare, no screams, ugly images but simple. stubbornness to return to his slumber. "This is a first." he thought and placed his right arm beneath his head to realize a moment later that the white and soft pillow which Emma had given him earlier felt much better so he placed his head on the pillow once again. Turning to his left, he saw a draped arm over a body he could not recognize fully due to the blocking caused by the small brown table. Lifting his head slightly, Brennan then saw the sleeping face and motionless body of the small redhead and the only sign of life was the barely noticeable movement of her chest as she soundlessly breathed in and out.  
  
They had much deliberation of the sleeping arrangements and because of the strange awkwardness which arouse between them when one of the bedrooms was mentioned; a better alternative was seen in the living room. Brennan had immediately begun to put the sheets and pillows on the floor when they were quickly snatched away by Emma. "You're sleeping on the couch," she told him.  
  
Brennan looked at her. "Uh, no. You're sleeping on the couch."  
  
"But you're the guest here so you should be sleeping on the couch," she kept insisting. And that determination eventually ended up with Brennan's subduing to her 'wish'; it must have been the tiredness otherwise he would have not let her win. Although feeling uncomfortable of the switch which appeared so strange for the view of a male and female, Brennan soon fell asleep, not being able to think anymore. His only wish before he drifted off was the hope that tonight he would be spared of nightmares and that Jesse would take care of Shalimar.  
  
Now, that slumber was cut off... at least for him. But he felt strange as to the absence of reason for his sudden insomnia when usually or always for this past, not to say lonely, year had been the bad dream. It had either been his psyche which had enough strength to fight off the horrible images or the nearness of this little Psionic. He chose to believe the first option. Although something deeper inside him wanted to scream out something else, shaking him briefly and roughly, that it had been more than that. Brennan smirked to this; if he could only determine the root of those nightmares it would be nothing but a 'piece of cake' to explain the rest... wouldn't it? He sat up, gripping the velvet surface ends of the couch on which he had been in deep slumber only a few minutes ago. His view of the Psionic was now improved; he could see her entire body, stretched out on the side as if on a display for him.  
  
Brennan wondered how Shalimar was at this moment as he stood up; had she been asleep or perhaps having the same lack of that sleep as him? As soundlessly as he could possibly walk, the Elemental made his way slowly to his friend's sleeping figure. Did Jesse bring her to bed as he was supposed to or did he let her sleep on the couch? Brennan kneeled down; leaning forward as low as he could until his forearms were feeling the soft woolen carpet beneath him. Was Shalimar hurt badly and Jesse refused to say or were there only few minor cuts? His face was inches apart from Emma's; he observed her carefully and even took a strain of her hair which covered her closed eyes, putting it away. One year... could it possibly have been that long? At this moment Brennan was finding it impossible to believe. His right hand was now free as it hovered over her face; he was questioning himself whether to let his shame disappear or perhaps for only a few short seconds, throwing everything else, apart from Shalimar's wellbeing out of his mind and place the back of his hand on Emma's cheek, stroking her so tenderly that if she were dreaming, she would feel a butterfly crawling on her cheek.  
  
Her skin was soft; Brennan had so few intimate moments to experience such a feeling but now, this felt the safest of them all as her skin felt like a pillow beneath his fingers. Was Jesse sleeping by her side or did he leave her the needed space? , another thought. Brennan felt even more guilty now for those nasty accusations an entire year before; she moved her face slightly which caused the Elemental to quickly pull his hand away; when she settled again, he took the dare again and returned his hand... he liked the feel she gave out.  
  
Although her eyes were closed and her face with only a fraction of what could be interpreted as an announcement for perhaps a future smile, he could swear to himself that there was something kept inside her, something which he should be allowed to know; but he hoped that it was the strange imagination which the cursed insomnia was creating for him. Finally he removed his hand and placed it as a platform for his chin; he watched her for what his brain registered had been five minutes, when in fact it had been more than that. Brennan wanted to kiss her cheek, to say thank you for staying with him... might sound cowardly but his wild assumption of her company had been right... or perhaps he only wished it was. He gave a barely noticeable sigh and slowly backed away, standing up. He would thank her tomorrow... without the kiss.  
  
As quietly as he approached Emma, even more quietly he retreated to the couch. To his relief, the insomnia was drifting away, making the path for his dreams to return. the pleasant ones, naturally.  
  
********* 


	10. chapter 10

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters from 'Mutant X'. They're not my property. They belong to Tribune Entertainment.  
  
***  
  
*********  
  
His ears could detect nothing except the cold silence; as he swallowed he could still sense that the night hadn't lifted itself which made his eyelids to press harder on his covered eyes. Opening his mouth slightly he then heard a quiet barking of a dog coming from the empty streets outside. He imagined that it must have been cold outside. It had been perhaps the hard surface behind his back which alarmed his body that this had not been a comfortable place to sleep on: the side of the couch. "Ah damn it... should've known better." He had to open his eyes otherwise he would only torture his body for positions which it simply was not comfortable with. Shalimar was left to sleep on the couch as she hadn't felt well enough to move so the Molecular simply slid down on the floor, falling asleep, only inches away from her face.  
  
Leaning his head forward, Jesse uncovered his eyes and saw the magazine thrown on the floor, barely visible because of the existing darkness. "How I wish I had Shal's senses right now," he told himself and stood up. The most crucial parts of the path before him were still visible, just enough so he wouldn't end up with a big red bump on his head before even reaching the bedroom; that was where he found out that all the sheets and covers were kept and right now his body was crying out for some comfort. Still adjusting his eyes to the darkness to get at least a tiny amount of visibility, Jesse yawned. Walking in the hallway, he placed his hand on the roughly painted wall and moved it there so he would have better orientation; the lights were avoided for the fear that they would only awake the sleeping Feral when she appeared in much more than desired need of a long and comfortable slumber. As he moved his hand, he felt a lights switch, some walls, and a door frame and once again the rugged walls. He was getting close.  
  
Soon his foot was stopped by what appeared to be the wooden closed door of the bedroom. Moving his hand down, his fingers got a good grip around the cold metal handle as he turned it and the door open. "Just some light," he whispered, again with the wish of having at least the feline genes which would give him better movement in the dark. Stepping inside he closed the door behind him quietly and finding the switch on the right side of the wall, he turned it on and the light appeared suddenly causing Jesse to shut his eyes while they absorbed the sudden change.  
  
When they finally could open, he came across the same view from earlier when he had entered here to acquire some sheets and pillows for Shalimar. There was the double bed with the red covers and pillows of the same colors with the Feral had, no doubt, arranged the previous morning as one could not expect such duty from Brennan nor Jesse unless there was to be held a gun to their heads. The entire room appeared quite plain, which would be much of a disappointed to those who knew Brennan and Shalimar's natures, but the previous year had still made some adjustments difficult for them so they had withheld any major decorations for a while.  
  
On the right side stood the large windows, all three closed and the shades still lifted. Jesse approached the third window and opened it. Cool breeze rushed inside, filling the room which had appeared somewhat dull before. Turning around he saw the large bright blue, a color which even surprised him, closet at the other end of the room. Circling the bed on the spiky carpet, he soon came in front of the wooden door and taking the handle he slid it slowly to the right. He glanced at his wristwatch: Four and thirty two morning. "Damn," he sighed and ran both hands through his longer blond hair. He had taken a shower two days earlier but somehow his locks were in need for soaking. "Maybe..." he glanced at the door and then back at the stuffed shelves in front of him. It hadn't been a bad idea and he could still feel the awkward smell from the alley's dirty ground which by now had been well absorbed by his clothing. "Ah, it stinks horribly!" he said after smelling his shirt which had probably taken in some of the smell from Shalimar unfortunately.  
  
Pulling out a large crème duvet and a pillow, he then closed the door and threw the things on the bed. Putting his hands on his waist, he watched the bed for a while and took another glance at the door. "Why not," he said and walked over to the door when he heard another one close. Opening the bedroom door he saw light coming out of the tiny horizontal opening at the bottom of the bathroom door. He heard a female sigh and smiled. So she gathered enough strength to take a shower at least, despite the lateness. Keeping the bedroom door open, he took the duvet and pillow and turned off the lights switch before exiting the bedroom and returning to the living room where he found the couch unsurprisingly empty. Dropping the weight off him, Jesse reached for the lamp close to the couch and turned it on. He would take the shower later.  
  
Putting the last piece of underwear in the washing machine, Shalimar stepped inside the bathtub. Soaking her hair as the water was rushing down on it and continuing on the rest of her body, Shalimar closed her eyes, throwing her head back, enjoying the coolness of the drops, despite the bandages on her head which isolated the skin beneath them from feeling the same enjoyment. Jesse must have done a good job with the first aid as the covered wounds were not reached by a single drop. She avoided her forehead having learned that lesson twice before and very painfully. Her body had barely regained strength for her to drag herself over to the bathroom when she failed to find Jesse... not that she would have nagged him.  
  
Moving her hands down, sliding slowly to her waist, her thumb had suddenly touched a spot which sent a sharp sting through her body. "Ouch!" she pressed her teeth. Looking down, on the left side of her slim skin waist, she noticed a smaller roughly shaped circle wound with four short scratch marks above it; touching the first line she felt another sting only less painful than the one from the lower wound. "When did this..." she wondered, while observing the mark. Shalimar remembered one of the attackers had sharper and rather strong fingernails which left deep marks on the Feral's body... perhaps these four reminders were also from the same person. She should put something on them before they would get worse which she highly hoped they haven't started to become that. Shalimar then turned to the other part of her waist to search for more wounds she hadn't been aware of before. Moving her gaze to her legs, there was only a small scratch on her right knee which had previously dried blood but nothing else was detected much to her relief until she rubbed her left arm and noticed a tiny bump just above her elbow. It looked like a mosquito bite only slightly larger. Her fingers touched it but it did not emit any pain to her surprise. "Huh, must've been some little bug," she lowered her defense and brought her attention back to her previous wound. "Those... those monsters..." she hissed and looked up at the tiled wall. Turning her gaze toward the door she removed her head from the shower and paved her wet hair. "Damn it," she cursed because of the lowered amount of strength which she had; feeling the effects especially on her arms how they felt like dropping on the floor after a small action no longer than ten seconds. Her legs had been more resilient but even they were begging her to sit or lie down and give them rest. If she could lie down and fall asleep in this bathtub she would have had. Shalimar returned her head beneath the shower, closing her eyes, letting the stink be washed away.  
  
*********  
  
She wanted to tighten the robe around her waist but the pain advised her otherwise. Opening the door she slowly walked over to the living room, her bare feet feeling the soft surface of the carpet. Shalimar saw the picture which the faint glowing light was showing of Jesse sitting on the couch, with his right hand which supported his chin, being held by his knee. When the Molecular noticed her, he quickly stood up with eyes which nearly shouted insane worry.  
  
His expression forced a smile out of her; he appeared like a small boy. "Well," she lifted her hand close to her neck, "I took a shower," and walked over to the couch.  
  
"Yeah, I heard you. How do you feel?" he tried to conceal his rising worry despite his knowing that she could easily tell.  
  
That triggered something inside her. "For god's sake, Jesse, you're acting like I'm damn pregnant!" she suddenly snapped back at him, an action which even surprised her. With the immediate need to remove the trace of her undesired reaction she hid her face with her hands and took a deep sigh. Her tiredness had hardly begun to disappear; it grew rather than faint and she felt it uneasily. "I'm sorry... I'm still just so tired."  
  
Jesse tilted his head and placed his hands on her elbows. "Come here..." he whispered and absorbed the Feral in his embrace, giving her a temporarily safe and warm comfort.  
  
He had imagined the shower would relax her along with her sleep but that had done little it appeared. Rubbing her back softly, he looked up at the ceiling. "Do you feel better?" he whispered, wanting for it to be done closer to her ear but somehow the moment had little appropriation for it.  
  
She sighed. "No... well, I can stand up and walk which is I guess an improvement... but I..." her knees unpredictably turned from bone to jelly as she fell deeper into Jesse's chest not being able to stand any longer.  
  
"O-k." He grabbed her even more tightly so she would be safe from falling on the floor. Jesse only heard a quiet moan before her eyes closed themselves and her arms loosened. Lifting her carefully, he wanted to place her back on the couch but his eyes stopped on her now more calm face. His gaze softened. Turning around, he slowly carried himself and Shalimar through the corridor until he reached the door of the bedroom which he luckily did not close as well as he had previously thought. Giving it a soft push with his leg, he then entered inside and placed the Feral on the comfortable, soft surface of the bed.  
  
Immediately she made her head cozy on the soft pillow, giving out a desperately wanting pleasant moan. When she opened her eyes, Jesse was standing above her preparing to reach for the other side of the duvet. "Why do you always..." she swallowed and took a deep breath, giving temporarily darkness for her eyes. "You always fuss so much?" he voice sounded nearly fragile.  
  
His gaze fell on her face. He could see it, beside the absence of the yellow light in the room; the moon had let in enough light to uncover some of Shalimar's face. "You've been hurt pretty bad, Shal..."  
  
"Not just now..." she took in another breath and leaned her arm on his right leg. "Every single time..."  
  
"We're a team," he replied softly. "Of course I'm going to fuss over you... what can I do when I care for you, right?" he shrugged.  
  
Slowly she showed a tiny smile. "Yeah... thanks."  
  
"No need." He leaned down and kissed her cheek.  
  
It began to worry her now. She could tell the relief in his eyes because of her presence but there was still that possessiveness of her health. "Jess... when I was in the shower..." she started.  
  
Crouching, he placed his hands at the edge of the bed. "Yes?"  
  
"I saw... another wound... it's smaller, but..."  
  
The blueness in his eyes intensified. "Where?"  
  
She reached for the upper opening of her robe with her right hand and loosening the belt with her left hand, she uncovered only the small part of her waist where two white large bandages were placed.  
  
Placing his fingers on the cotton fabric, Jesse observed the cover and then glanced at Shalimar. "What kind of wound?" he asked her.  
  
"Like a small um bump..... and... some scratch marks... that's about all..." "Hmm... alright." He stood up and saw her gather the green robe tightly to her body once again. Jesse did not want to leave her, but the rest would be more than welcome for her. "Try to get some sleep... we'll examine this more carefully tomorrow."  
  
"Yeah... ok," she nodded.  
  
He smiled at her and brushed his fingers across her cheek before covering her with the duvet. "Get some sleep," he told her and began walking away.  
  
"Um, Jesse?" she called him.  
  
He stopped and turned to look at her. "Yeah?"  
  
"You too, alright?" she told him.  
  
He smiled once more. "I will." Stepping outside, he took one last glimpse of his friend and then closed the door quietly behind him.  
  
He made his way back to the living room. Noticing the duvet and pillow he had taken earlier, Jesse picked them up and placed them on the couch. He might as well make himself more comfortable. Glancing at the hallway, he had little success with hiding his wish to stay with her tonight even if the thought of the same bed had appeared unsettling. If she were closer to him, he would feel more secure about her wellbeing.  
  
Shaking his head, Jesse threw away those last thoughts. It appeared possessive from him to even dare and entertain that thought. Shalimar would be alright... she simply had that misfortune of running into bad things today which left ugly results. But she will heal quickly. Although his heart wished still, she had been closer to him, like earlier. He sighed. She had been in a worse shape than he had wanted to see... but the wounds had appeared to be taken care of, and he did know a thing or two about first aid and so on.  
  
He was ready to lie down when instead his hands let go of the sheets and he turned off the light. Walking slowly back to the hallway, he placed his hand on the door and took a few short breaths with his eyes gently closed. His heart would continue bugging him the entire night if he had refused to do this. As quietly as he could, Jesse turned the handle, opening the door. One could say that he sneaked inside like a thief in the night. His eyes identified the empty side of the bed and he leaned down, placing his hands on the now uncovered white sheets. He looked over at Shalimar to make sure that the vibrations he began to make were bothering her as little as possible and hopefully, not at all.  
  
Stretching his body on the bed, he turned on the side and felt a warm feeling rush through him as his blues took in the darkened and yet calm face of his sleeping friend. He wanted to place his hand on her stomach but the will to let her sleep more easily overpowered and he simply placed it close to his own belly before closing his eyes and returning to sleep. Emma and Brennan would probably return early tomorrow. the more sleep he would receive, the better. But at least he was with her tonight. alone and it felt good for him. He wanted this.  
  
********* 


	11. chapter 11

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters from 'Mutant X'. They're not my property. They belong to Tribune Entertainment.  
  
***  
  
*********  
  
Brennan opened the door to the apartment the following morning. A faint and unpleasant odor began lingering beneath his nose. He stopped with the intention of asking about this strange smell and if it had only been a brief imaginary odor, but then, just as quickly he replaced that question with another, more important one: Shalimar.  
  
When he and Emma entered inside, they heard the sound of the shower from the bathroom. "Shal? Jesse?" he called to them. When he did not receive a reply, Brennan walked over to bedroom. He door was closed. He opened it slowly and soon found Shalimar asleep on the bed.  
  
Brennan stood there in his place for two seconds before he approached the bed and kneeled down next to the sleeping Feral. "Shal?" he whispered. When seeing her lack of response to his call, Brennan placed his hand carefully on her warm waist while his eyes observed her face. He saw the bandages and the bruise on her lower lip. "Shit, what happened to you?" he whispered. His worry rose even further when his eyes lowered themselves to the opening of her robe where, what appeared like it had been a scar, was peeking out almost shyly beneath the shadow of the green material.  
  
Glancing at her closed eyes he then brought his fingers to the opening and removed the soft piece with enough distance so his eyes could capture the entire image of her wound.  
  
A thick uneasy feeling slid down inside him when he noticed the bandages and the deep, however small, scars above it; four angry lines of torn tissue ruining the soft surface of her skin while the white material that was supposedly protecting the small wound beneath them was placed on so roughly that if he would dare to remove it, Brennan would tear off more of her skin.  
  
He kissed her cheek and kept his lips there for a while, on the soft surface. His warm breath touched her skin while his eyes took in the zoomed image of her thin eyelids; she appeared calm in her rest while her breathing, as normal as it was from the feeling it gave, made her quieter than one could usually expect.  
  
Slowly and carefully he then covered her body once again before hearing quiet footsteps behind him. "You think she's alright?" he asked, his eyes lying upon her.  
  
She stopped next to Brennan and kneeled down along with him. "She's..." Emma placed her hand on the Feral's cheek; it felt dry. "She feels tired. Very tired." The Psionic had been in more than simple shock. She could sense earlier while approaching the apartment that something was amiss but to see her friend like this had drawn an uneasy line in front of her. Caressing her cheek, she watched her tenderly.  
  
Without warning she began feeling the wetness creeping up behind her eyes. The oddness was appearing. Why did she begin like this? Of course there was shock and perhaps even disappointment for this site of Shalimar but why did this sudden and unpleasant grieving feeling suddenly begun swimming up to the surface? Sadly, any further thoughts were temporarily on hold when the bathroom door opened.  
  
Brennan rose quickly and turned to meet Jesse standing at the doorway in the same clothes with which he first came here. He didn't wash his hair; it would only steal more time with the drying and all the other 'rituals' which usually follow.  
  
It had been a long time and there was some feeling of rejoice with seeing his friend once more but the concern over the wounded Feral had quickly drowned the pleasanter feeling. He simply approached Jesse and embraced him warmly. "Hey, man," he spoke with a voice close to a whisper.  
  
"Hey," Jesse returned the embrace with the same amount not wanting it to be more. there had been some reservations left. If he had only been more aware of the growing and strange concern for Shalimar; he felt a soft punch inside his gut; but he hoped it had been something else.  
  
"You're good?" Brennan asked him.  
  
Jesse nodded. His eyes sparkled with a gram of untamed hostility. Some of it was towards Brennan but the rest and bigger part was aimed towards Shalimar's attackers.  
  
As their gazes remained temporarily locked at each other, clinging almost unwillingly, both could sense some unusual and tense air between them. Not to let it continue, Jesse walked over to where Emma had been sitting and placed his hand on her tepidly-feeling shoulder.  
  
The Psionic quickly looked up at him with a smile which widened. "Jesse. God!" She wrapped her arms around him, hugging him with the unconscious decision to squeeze the entire capacity of air out of him; perhaps a job possible to do had she not been so less masculine than her male friends.  
  
"How are you?" he asked her softly, enjoying the warm embrace of his friend almost like a scarf around his neck.  
  
"I'm happy to see you," she replied. She would have been even more excited if Shalimar hadn't been in the state in which she was. "And you?" The worry had overcome her as well from the moment she had stepped into this apartment.  
  
"I'm happy to see you, also," was his answer. Their voices were not raised above the level which could signal a rude awakening for Shalimar; they felt her slumber had been more important.  
  
"What happened to her?" Brennan asked almost immediately when once again he stood next to Shalimar's sleeping body.  
  
As a response Jesse signaled over to them to join him in the living room instead.  
  
When they gathered in the living room with the bedroom door safely closed to not allow any loud voices close to Shalimar, Jesse began: "I thought I told you on the phone."  
  
"Just that she was attacked," Brennan responded.  
  
"Ok. Right," Jesse placed his hands on his waist. "Well, she just told me that they surprised her in that little alley and that they seemed stronger and quicker. She seems too weak to reveal any more details," he said shortly and simply.  
  
"Aha," Brennan watched him briefly with doubt that was weirdly appearing, quietly inside him; he then turned his gaze over to Emma who had sensed that look like a sharp sword.  
  
Quickly she diverted her blues over to the Elemental. She felt that he had some faint uncertainties of the recollection. "He might be right," she responded. Emma knew he needed her guarantee.  
  
Silently, Brennan sighed and returned his gaze to the Molecular. "That was all?"  
  
"Yeah," Jesse confirmed.  
  
"How long has she been asleep?" Emma asked.  
  
"When I brought her here she fell asleep for about an hour... then..." he paused to bring back memories from the previous night. "She woke up at around 5 to take a shower."  
  
"In the morning?" Brennan crossed his arms.  
  
"Yeah. I didn't think she had that much strength... which she should but," he sighed. "I don't know. She then fainted again because she felt even more tired and has been asleep ever since."  
  
Emma glanced at the bathroom door as Jesse's voice only dug out nothing but increasing concern from her.  
  
"Ok. Get your coat or whatever you have. We're going back to the alley," Brennan said quickly and decisively.  
  
"Now?" Emma wondered.  
  
"Why me?" Jesse asked.  
  
"'Cause you were there, now come on!" Brennan ordered.  
  
Jesse threw one more uncomfortable glance over at Brennan and then grabbed the jacket from the table.  
  
Brennan reached for the door but stopped before he took the handle. He turned his head towards Emma with deep concern in his eyes.  
  
She could have sighed profoundly to this as his eyes rapidly reached deeper than she had anticipated which not only surprised her, it also disturbed her. "I'll stay here," she reassured him with a soft voice.  
  
A faint smile briefly appeared on his lips, before he turned around and opened the door.  
  
*********  
  
The sunlight, so luring and welcoming above the streets filled with people and few cars, seemed to sadly fall into grayish darkness in this small alley. As he stood there, on that line between the sunlight and the building's shadow, Brennan felt somewhat surprised at himself for never acknowledging this place, although it appeared to be of no special interest.  
  
"Where did you find her?" he asked Jesse.  
  
The Molecular lifted his hand, pointing to the empty spot near the aging wall. "There," he said.  
  
Following his direction, the Elemental walked over to the unmarked spot and observed for any hopeful hints. There was that bad odor originating from the filthy and still moist ground which sent repulsive signals to Brennan; that smell reminded him of the tiny traces his nose had picked up when he arrived at the apartment and now he knew that he did not imagine it.  
  
Looking at the black-colored tiny pond, barely with an inch of depth, he could see nothing but filth. Making a bigger circle, although the shadows had played little tricks on his eyesight, not letting him see everything which was available, he did notice a small object near an old can of soda close to the wall.  
  
He bent down and picked up the metallic object. Its length was the same with Brennan's little finger and it finished off with a sharp edge. "Hmm..." he sounded.  
  
Hearing this, Jesse approached him and noticed the bright object which, if there had been sufficient light it would perhaps give out a fake glow. "Looks like... err..."  
  
"Yeah, I don't know either," Brennan said while moving the object within the space of his palm. The fade light did not give either of the two mutants further possibilities of observations so Brennan placed the object in the pocket of his coat.  
  
Jesse turned to his left and came closer to the wall. The stench persisted to irritate the inner skin of his nostrils, much like Brennan, when he lowered his gaze and noticed a darker stain close to the bottom. Swatting, he could now tell that the stain had been dried blood. It unexpectedly drew quick shivers inside him as he observed the print; something had commanded him to raise his hand and touch the slightly rugged surface with two fingers; when he did, the moment the surface was felt under his fingertips, the previous shivers appeared once more only this time larger. He hoped it wasn't Shalimar's.  
  
"What's that?" Brennan asked.  
  
"Blood I think," Jesse replied. His hand was resting on his knee now.  
  
"Do you think it might be...?"  
  
Jesse's head moved slightly to his right but his eyes were disabled from capturing Brennan. "Shal's?"  
  
"Yep." Jesse returned his gaze to the stain. "I doubt it... she hadn't lost much blood."  
  
This sentence felt like sudden cold water being splashed on Brennan's face. "What?" Jesse stood up before turning to fully face his friend. He did not mention the condition in which he had found the Feral... not yet.  
  
"Just how bad was she bleeding?" Growing fretfulness was sensed in the Elemental's tone.  
  
"Not much! When I found her here only..." he sighed. "There were tiny drops from her forehead and some blood on her hand but I doubt that it was hers." He reserved the shouting although he could sense its frequency would appear in the close future.  
  
Brennan's look did little to approve of Jesse's answer but he accepted it nevertheless. "Aha." Running his hand through his hair he quickly cursed inside him that he did not use the opportunity at Emma's place to take a shower. "What about the wound on her waist?" he then asked.  
  
Jesse stared blankly back at him for a second when he realized that he had forgotten to mention that to Brennan. "Ah, yeah... but Shal found that one out. I didn't know about it 'till last night."  
  
"But you didn't mention it neither to Emma nor me."  
  
"Well, you already know about it so..."  
  
"Yeah," he interrupted him. Brennan did not say anything further but simply spun around, with hopes to find more clues. He knew that the majority of the tension was originating from Jesse but he was trying to hold himself for becoming an equal source.  
  
They needed more clues or perhaps even better, for Shalimar to wake up and tell them.  
  
********* 


	12. chapter 12

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters from 'Mutant X'. They're not my property. They belong to Tribune Entertainment.  
  
***  
  
*********  
  
Her throat began to scratch inside and it felt dry... very dry, which meant it would soon begin to irritate her until she consumed some warm liquid. She gathered a small amount of saliva and tired to swallow it, but the mass barely moved through the fleshy corridors. This was not a good sign... she could not possibly be subjecting herself to a flu, could she? And now?  
  
Her eyelids slowly rose up, giving her eyes the chance to scan the light room. "Oh... how long have I been sleeping?" she wondered and moved her head to her left. The sun was but a smudgy and even pale image behind a thin and annoying white cloud, but at least it was there and by it Shalimar knew it had been daylight. "Ok..." she sighed and turned her head to the other side to notice nothing new. "Jesse?" She called quietly despite knowing that he could not possibly hear her behind the closed door and with such a low tone. Gripping the edge of the covers she slid them down to her waist and used her hands again to lift herself up. She managed to lean on her elbows and began taking in deeper breaths when the last amount which flowed through her suddenly felt more like heavy weight against her wounds, forcing the Feral to crash on the pillow again. She groaned silently to this unsurprising moment and then once more to the lack of strength she had remained to feel.  
  
The door opened and Shalimar heard quick footsteps. She didn't have to avert her eyes when a face of a young redhead appeared above her, hesitating whether to show a smile or something sadder. "Emma?" Shalimar called her.  
  
The redhead made her decision to smile after that calling. "Hi... yeah, it's me."  
  
"Wow, you're here. When did you get... here?"  
  
"Some minutes ago." Emma spoke quietly as her heart was making small spins due to the happiness of experiencing this, although weak, still lively image of her friend. But she felt her unavoidable tiredness and Shalimar's annoyance and unsuccessful efforts to regain her strength and hide her pitiful appearance.  
  
Shalimar smiled as her eyes began sparkling from the salty liquid which covered them; the face of Emma sparked a joyful emotion inside her and once more she cursed for not feeling strong enough to hug the Psionic as tightly as she could. She missed Emma.  
  
Emma knew this and bent down; managing to catch Shalimar's shoulders with her hands and give the closest action to a hug. The Feral's hands pressed roughly on Emma's back as she heard a quiet sniffing sound. She was going to cry, Emma felt and that feeling managed to flow into her as well, triggering the liquid to rush up and stop behind her eyes before beginning to slowly but brutally apply pressure to be released.  
  
"It's been so long," Shalimar whispered. She felt Emma's small fingers around her neck as the embrace continued for an amount of time longer than it should have been. She closed her eyes and cursed her attackers for disabling her like this and removing the opportunity for her to act like the cat which she was and pounce on her friends with pure joy before capturing them in her embrace.  
  
"Way too long," Emma replied and covered her eyes with comforting blackness as well.  
  
When the embrace ended and Shalimar rested her head once more on the soft pillow, Emma sat down on the floor. "Is Brennan here?" she heard her ask.  
  
"Yeah, uh, he and Jesse went back to the 'crime scene' to try and find more clues about... what happened."  
  
"Oh... they did?" there was a strange falseness in the questioning tone as her eyes tried to stay focused on Emma's and not drift away. Her brain battled to keep the almost crying, low emotion which was threatening to surface, away from the Psionic's radar but it should have known better. Shalimar loved her friend but she wished for only a few brief and precious moments she could disable that genetic function of Emma's. She did show the expected relief of her companion's return but the added knowledge of his own return to the site where she laid for hours, lonely and afraid in the shadows of the lifeless buildings which surrounded her, protecting her unwillingly from the gaze of the morning sun, did nothing to heighten the previously good feeling.  
  
Her eyes stayed steadily on Emma's as she wanted to ask what had Brennan's reaction been when he saw her but her voice did not make those words heard. She could imagine his anger, worry and perhaps even a grain of stress... but anger would prevail in his mind in the end. Shalimar sighed. Why did he call Jesse with him?  
  
"Y-eah..." Emma spoke hesitantly, her mind picking up the uncertainty coming from the Feral. "He... of course, he was worried sick when Jesse told him."  
  
A smile was received as response to that sentence. "And knowing him, he probably wants to rip the spines from the freaks that did this." Immensely desperately Shalimar had wanted to give a short giggle or just a smirk but she couldn't. She tried and tired once more but invisible strings from the tiredness pulled those attempts down and they sank as if made of cruel stone.  
  
Emma felt for her friend and the massive desire to show at least one emotion resembling something joyful. "That's him," and tilted her head. Their feelings and generally their psyche had changed, almost alien-like, after their mentor's death. Few things could be predicted between these four mutants after that... perhaps a frustrating feeling brought up by the notion that, although the tight closeness had remained, a strange form of subconscious alienating had began to develop; one could only hope it would not grow fully and expose itself with a disastrous result of breaking the bond between them eternally.  
  
Shalimar's eyes shifted from the edge of the bed to Emma's blues before she asked: "I didn't hear from him," her voice still rough was kept in low volume. "How did you meet?"  
  
"I happened to be in the same town."  
  
"Oh, really?"  
  
"Yeah... funny coincidence isn't it," Emma smirked.  
  
Shalimar nodded and took a small breath; she dared not take a longer one after the last painful experience.  
  
It would be a relaxing moment if they could begin a conversation, reminiscing about their past, their year and two weeks spent apart. Yes, it would be light, with only a few small tears but at least it would feel pleasanter and better on the heart, unlike the current moment. However, Emma needed to know something else, a thought which had taken to the first lines, positioning itself thoroughly with the intention of arriving to the truth, the appetite-pleaser of the curiosity. "Shal," she started. "Do you remember everything which happened?" her voice not abandoning Shalimar's level of loudness.  
  
"Didn't Jesse tell you?" an indication of useless hope in her tone.  
  
"Something but we need to know more."  
  
"Oh... ok." Shalimar's eyes lowered to the hand resting lifelessly next to her stomach as she sighed; the color of the bed sheet transforming into that of the gray and black of the alley the previous morning, bringing to life the ugliness which followed once she stepped into the covered place, away from the watchful if yet ignorant eye of the passing pedestrians.  
  
**  
  
A strange smell had lured her inside the closed alley. "Is this her?" she heard an unfamiliar male voice behind her, causing her to spin around quickly and meet four men in gray suits, lined up equally in front of her. "No doubt," the other responded, not taking their eyes off their target. She could not read any emotion on their faces but she disliked the unfriendly and frightening smell emerging from them; it caused her to cautiously take some steps backwards until her back was facing mere three inches from the wall.  
  
"As it is certain that a fight will follow, may I ask who you gentlemen are, first?" Calmly she took her ready pose while waiting for their answer.  
  
One of them smirked. "Mutants, just like yourself," he responded.  
  
"Gee... that says a lot," Shalimar's tone was a mocking one. "Eckhart's men?"  
  
"No," the other man answered.  
  
"Aha... so what is the reason for your attitude here?"  
  
"We need a sample from you."  
  
"A sample."  
  
Bizzare.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Oh? What for?"  
  
"Just a sample," the man repeated. "You can give it calmly without any violence or we can take it from you and kill you in the process," he told her calmly.  
  
"You didn't answer my question."  
  
"Our reason is no concern of yours."  
  
"Aha. Well, in that case," Shalimar crossed her arms and sneered. "No."  
  
Shalimar's memory had abandoned her from the first injection of pain she had received in her left rib. The precise course of the combat was difficult to access, almost as if didn't exist, making the Feral sigh both with relief and annoyance. All the images were scrambled and scattered around with growing difficulty to be properly assessed. What had remained saved by her brain cells was the insignificant damage which her attackers had received from her, unlike Shalimar, who felt as if there had been four thick knives shoved inside her skin, making an opening for her energy to quickly escape. She failed to understand how that had been possible when she had hit and even scratched at their surfaces with her entire might and yet her attempts had appeared to be felt like the touch of a feather.  
  
One of the men had slammed her against the wall with such force that she had remained temporarily disoriented up to that moment when she felt a sharp object being thrust into her, opening a door of splitting, enormous and throbbing pain to spread blazing through her entire body; she felt her insides burning and being cruelly left with nothing else to do but express her pain with a horrible and deafening scream.  
  
Unfortunately, even that privilege was taken away from her as the other man covered her mouth with his hand, applying full pressure in the process; if there hadn't been air entering through her nose she would have easily been suffocated to death. "We asked you in a civilized way, Miss Fox," he told her with barely any tiredness being showed by him unlike the Feral who could scarcely attain the strength to keep her body on her feet.  
  
Her eyes shot directly at his, with not only the mix of anger and pain but also the surprise about his knowledge of her name. Sweat was bursting from her skin and dripping down on her body as she tried to read something from his deep green eyes but there was nothing in them - they were empty. The unwanted feeling of frightfulness was overwhelming her amongst the other negative emotions streaming through her like rusted metallic arrows as she was trapped not only physically but emotionally.  
  
Another sting, only this time deeper entered her before being subdued beneath the palm of the attacker, ripping away the feel of her legs. The pain rushed the tears to her eyes, and they finally showed while angrily streaming down on her face.  
  
Anger was fading as the barely withstanding pain was clearing the room for the rapidly growing fear. The moments which followed were absent from Shalimar's memory.  
  
The next fragment which had resurfaced was that of the uncertainty that surrounded her as she lay helpless on the filthy ground. Her eyes wandered towards the men, forming a circle around her, perhaps preparing for the final and fatal blow. She looked down only to be met by bright red wounds which appeared more than ready to open a spring of blood and contribute even further to the draining of the Feral's energy. Even her hands were beginning to abandon the secure steadiness and give into the weakening trembling as they barely supported her upper body two inches from the moist and grimy ground.  
  
Having been rid off of any possibilities to defend herself, the Feral had no other chance but to powerlessly wait and watch until three words announced the end of the torture.  
  
"That is enough!" A voice was heard but the view of the source was corrupted by the now tall bodies of the men.  
  
**  
  
Shalimar closed her eyes, applying pressure to them with the end of her palms; the images drifted away in the newly applied darkness. She gathered the knees as closely to her chest as she could without provoking the warning pain from her wounds, signaling their still present freshness. Two tears appeared and a quiet sob followed; she could not continue further, her mind forbid her and she obeyed it. "I'm sorry..." she spoke, her voice still rough but so intensively fragile as if she would break it at any second. "I can't go on." She buried her face even deeper in the space of the hands and bed sheet. A dawning and frightful realization appeared: she felt like she had been raped with the absence of an actual intercourse.  
  
That realization fell over Emma's senses like merciless falls of a ravaging river, flooding her. She covered her mouth, pressing her hand there, not letting the lips speak out a word for the first few minutes which followed. When those minutes passed, as gently as she could, Emma placed her left hand on Shalimar's shrugged shoulder and provided balance for herself at the edge of the bed with her right one. "Shal..." she barely spoke out the word as the hurt temporarily transferred itself over to her.  
  
Despite the falling uneasiness, Emma wanted to attempt and pull out at least a few more details but the slow appearance of tiredness closed her lips. "Not now..." she heard Shalimar say quietly. "I'm tired... I want to sleep," and with that, Emma saw the removal of the hands which covered the Feral's face, giving the site of calmness and traces of the recent tears.  
  
Emma wanted to embrace her friend but she received the strange feeling of physical rejection which she would endure by Shalimar. This surprised her but Emma respected her wish nevertheless. Bringing her face closer to hers, she gently kissed Shalimar's wet cheek and the beginning of her nose. Sighing, she stood up and remained there, watching her sleep; already Shalimar had drowned in deep slumber.  
  
Emma brushed the tear from her face and slowly and silently walked out of the room to obtain a chair.  
  
Coming in the living room, she stood next to a stool when her eyes drifted away from the object and to an invisible spot on the wall. Shalimar was hiding something from her and despite the Feral's weakened state she had managed to keep it locked securely enough and away from Emma's sensors.  
  
Emma did not want to apply pressure and force herself into Shalimar's forbidden consciousness to grab the information which was needed; she would wait until her friend felt safer and more secure. She had always known that Shalimar was a sensitive person but the fear which she felt emerging from the Feral with each spoken word nearly stunned her. Emma had never seen her, felt her wrapped inside such a cocoon of thick anguish before and it frightened her.  
  
Her fingers crawled over the stool's right armrest as she was ready to pick it up when the door opened and Jesse and Brennan entered.  
  
*********  
  
She caressed the small metallic object with trembling fingers but the reason for that reaction was foreign to her. "This is all?" Emma asked while giving a glance at another similar object with stains of blood placed on the table.  
  
"Yeah." Jesse sat on a stool across from her and leaned forward with his arms on the wooden surface.  
  
Emma took another glance of the closed bedroom door and sighed.  
  
**  
  
Emma's eye moved softly to Brennan's to this where she held their gaze longer than with Jesse; she told them that Shalimar had awoken.  
  
"What did she say?" Brennan's eyes slightly widened as he was anticipating at least some needed revelation.  
  
Emma remained silent for two seconds, going through her own database as quickly as she could to try and predict the reaction of her friends and especially Brennan of the two choices she could use: honesty and lying. "She... uh... she didn't say much." Emma fought fiercely not to swallow as it would surely give her away with the choice she had made.  
  
She waited for them to reply but they only waited for more from her, so she continued: "I wish she had said more but she only repeated what Jesse already told us. I couldn't get anything else out of her." Her eyes returned to Brennan's again as a drop of disappointed fell from his gaze. She couldn't bring herself up to tell them and especially Brennan; the scenario which she predicted, much quicker than expected, forced her to choose the second option of dishonesty.  
  
"Damn it!" There was anger in there, as Brennan took a step back and hesitated whether to lift his hands in the air or let them hang lifelessly beside his hips. "Is she still awake?" he then asked her with returning calmness.  
  
"No, she said she felt tired and returned to sleep," Emma replied.  
  
Brennan sighed and looked towards the closed door. "I'm gonna see her," he almost whispered and return his eyes to the redhead as they narrowed. "You've been crying?" he asked her.  
  
Emma held her breath for a moment as she realized that she had forgotten to wash her face and cover the traces. "Yeah," she admitted. "It was when we hugged... the emotions... I was happy to see her..." It came as small bafflement to her when she noticed the quick softness in his Brennan's eyes; it lasted for only two seconds but it felt strange especially as she could sense some sudden and quick shifting of emotions inside him which she couldn't differentiate.  
  
"Ok." Brennan nodded and brushed his hand against her arm gently before he turned around and rushed quietly towards the bedroom. The touch felt soothing and disturbingly calming for that brief second, causing Emma to form a fist with her hand during that moment.  
  
While watching him exit the living room, Jesse asked: "Are you sure she didn't say anything more?"  
  
Emma didn't turn to look at him; she did not want him to recognize the shifting of her eyes while she was answering his question. "Yeah." The amount of saliva stuck at the very entrance of her throat was growing; she needed to be invisible for that second when she could swallow and remain unnoticed. "I'll be right back," she said and ran to the bathroom, leaving Jesse alone. Emma had to rid herself of it or she would pretty much choke on the substance instead.  
  
**  
  
Her gaze returned from the bedroom door to the object in her hand. "Nothing else?" she asked him again, not removing her eyes from the object.  
  
"There was a bloodstain on the wall but... we couldn't tell who it was from."  
  
Emma perched her lips briefly; she knew. "Disgusting," she gave only that short reply.  
  
"Are you ok?" Jesse asked her when he noticed the trembling of her hands.  
  
She wanted to stop her hands from giving her subconscious reactions away like that but she was powerless to do so. "Uh-uh. Why?" Only a short glance was thrown his way as to not reveal anything else. Emma even wished to enter her realm of panic as she could not understand why with such vastness and intensity was Shalimar's ordeal beginning to affect her; sure it had been a horrible experience and Emma could not avoid the shock being stamped on her but it wasn't as if her friend had died or had been in a coma... she only appeared tired... so tired; too tired.  
  
"Be-e-because your hands are shaking?" Jesse said.  
  
"Oh. Uh... I just didn't anticipate seeing Shalimar like this, Jesse." She looked up at him once more and this time with longer endurance, sucking up the visibility of her emotional mixture. She felt his hand on her free one before he squeezed it gently and his lips pressed tightly.  
  
"She's... she's going to be ok," he tried to assure her despite the uncertainty he was feeling.  
  
Emma nodded and sighed as she responded to his comforting gesture by squeezing his warm hand, their mutual warmth almost colliding with an invisible explosion. "I wish that more than anything right now, Jess," she spoke honestly and lowered her eyes to the object in her right hand. "I so do."  
  
********* 


	13. chapter 13

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters from 'Mutant X'. They're not my property. They belong to Tribune Entertainment.  
  
***  
  
*********  
  
The big handle of the clock approached the number four on its surface with great effort; when it arrived above the number, it drained out the last amount of energy from the battery and the clock ceased.  
  
Jesse stood up and approached the dead object. He noticed the stopping of the clock because he spent the last 30 minutes just staring at it, waiting for something even he did not know about. Detaching it from the wall, he took it in his hands. "Do you have extra batteries?" he asked.  
  
Brennan looked up at him. "Mm."  
  
Jesse turned around. "For the clock," and lifted the object.  
  
"Oh, yeah. They're in the kitchen, top drawer to the right, next to the door."  
  
"Ok." Jesse nodded and soon disappeared into the kitchen.  
  
When Jesse was gone, Brennan left his eyes on the small Psionic lying on the green couch. "Are you planning on staying numb the entire day?" he asked her.  
  
Emma looked at him. She did not feel comfortable talking to him now. If she did she would probably let her sensitive side collapse on her one more time and tell Brennan what she felt should be hidden from him. She took a huge gulp of air. No, she would not tell him. She would not say a word of her knowledge neither to him nor to Jesse. "It's safer this way," she thought... for now. "What's wrong with that?" she asked casually, pushing the alertness in her voice so further down that it felt invisible to others.  
  
"Well... you haven't said a word since I came out of the bedroom." Brennan pushed himself to think nothing of the almost misty gaze of his friend but the silence which she began building did little to help him in that task.  
  
"I don't have anything to say." Emma placed her arm over her head, letting her fingers caress her left ear tenderly.  
  
"You gotta have something."  
  
"It's not like I've never been quiet before, Brennan." There was no annoyance in her voice although for one brief moment, it was felt swimming inside her until she managed to drown it for a while.  
  
Brennan leaned back on his chair, letting the fingers of his strong hand provide a temporarily leaning instrument for the right side of his face. The silence felt uncomfortable. He felt as if they were all waiting for an unavoidable visit of a shadowy creature to appear and take whatever had been attached as 'precious' to them; it disturbed him. "It's been six hours."  
  
"Shows that you have patience then, doesn't it." She did not have to force it, the gentleness came easily to her voice; it surprised her.  
  
"No, I guess not," he sighed. It felt like a dry sigh that spread through the room like an unwanted scent. But it was a warm sigh, a very warm, lively sigh.  
  
Emma took in another deep breath and managed to accidentally breathe in what left Brennan's lips, partially at least. She closed her eyes for a moment as the warmth of those particles, alien to others but so familiar to her, traveled through her respiratory system almost as if it belonged there.  
  
Her eyelids suddenly applied pressure; it felt good but it shouldn't do that. She would stay on her righteous judgment; Emma was still farther away from presenting him with a truthful forgiveness. Her heart beat silently, whispering to cease that ridiculous grudge. "No," Emma told it. "It's too early."  
  
Her heart accepted the answer with sadness. "One day you will look back at it and it might be too late, Emma."  
  
"No, it wouldn't. I know him."  
  
"Do you?"  
  
"Yeah. Go away."  
  
"Ok." It silenced.  
  
Emma opened her eyes. A slight shiver ran down on her arm which rested on her stomach. He did not avert his eyes. Did he know? About Shalimar? About herself? She could sense his eagerness of finding answers to something which she could barely touch to be able to recognize.  
  
There was still natural light in the room, perhaps faint but it was there and it was revealing his face and highlighting his gaze. If he only possessed the higher powers of the mind, she could at least tell him something and not torture her lips into forming and releasing the words. But he wasn't and Emma felt drifting farther and farther away from him to summon up the courage and tell him.  
  
"Why do you keep staring at me?" she asked him.  
  
"I don't know," he responded. "Maybe because..." he took a breath. "How did Shal appear when she talked to you?"  
  
"You already asked me that."  
  
"Tell me again."  
  
Emma waited for a moment. "Tired. Very, very tired," she then told him.  
  
"Didn't you manage to read anything from her?"  
  
"I'm not a mind-reader, Bren. I can't read thoughts."  
  
"I meant feelings."  
  
"No you didn't."  
  
"Fine... how about her feelings?"  
  
"You don't need to be a telempath to learn what she's feeling. It's pretty obvious."  
  
"But you can sense that better than the others. It could help if you could tell me."  
  
Emma removed her gaze and turned her head in another direction so she would be looking at the ceiling where it was safer. "She felt scared, tired..." an annoying amount of saliva got stuck at the entrance of her throat; she swallowed it. "In pain..." And that would be everything she would reveal for now.  
  
"And she said nothing more?"  
  
Emma shook her head in response.  
  
"Alright," he sighed again but this time quicker and stood up. Once again he traveled over to the bedroom; he needed to see his lover and escape from the uncomfortable thickness which had started appearing between him and Emma.  
  
Emma did not remove her eyes from the ceiling to watch him abandon the living room; she closed them instead. The darkness provided an opportunity for her mutated genes to create a secret pathway to the memories from Shalimar's partial confession and hopefully with enough persistence and strength she could even enter at least the first corridors or the courtyard of the Feral's mind.  
  
*********  
  
He closed the metallic lid and flipped the clock. Turning the handle at the back he quickly adjusted the handles on the same numbers as those on his wristwatch. "That's better," he smiled. But the smile did not stay long enough to endure the sudden cold tremors which quickly cut through him, causing him to take a stronger grip on the object in his right hand while steadying himself on the counter. The objects before him began to lose their sharpness and add blurriness instead, twisting their shape. His mind began spinning; he dropped the clock on the wooden surface which made no sound and took hold of its edges otherwise he would subdue to the dizziness and fall on the floor. "Oh shit," he whispered, blinking hard several times to try and adjust his vision but it did nothing.  
  
He wanted to shout to his friends for assistance but his voice did not rise, picturing only the mute movement of his mouth, forming words which others couldn't hear. If this did not stop his skin would begin producing sweat and he would lose his balance completely... Jesse was hoping for the opposite.  
  
His body and even a few brave thoughts warned him of a disturbing change if he wasn't careful: he would turn transparent and then concrete and then in a shape even he would not recognize. As the moments were passing, the beats of his hearts were increasing their speed. He opted to cause a sound with the spoon which was placed only an inch away but the cursed tremors speeded down through his body once more and with the same swiftness which it caused the sudden river of strange symptoms, it was with that same swiftness that it ended them.  
  
The original shape of the objects before his eyes returned; the sweat retreated to its source, with no chance of appearance; the balance was not lost; his heart slowly returned its normal pace. "Shit..." he took in a large amount of air. "What in hell was that?" and searched for answers he could not find in front of him with his eyes.  
  
It was quick but it felt longer. Highly alarming but with its disappearance, instead of remaining, even the alertness was lowering itself. Jesse did not let it go but he could hold on only shortly to that awareness. It was there but it stayed in a faint state. Unhealthy response and yet running.  
  
*********  
  
Emma squeezed the fingers on her right hand tightly with the fingers from her right one. She saw images inside the Feral's head which her mind did little to approve and only increased the regret inside the Psionic. The invisible scream when that first miniature blade was thrust inside the, although strong, still fragile and sensitive body of the blonde mutant; the evil green and black eyes which stared emotionlessly at their victim, absorbing the hidden satisfaction of pain which emerged from her. Those eyes... they appeared familiar. Her eyelids pressed harder. Where had she seen them before? The screams registered little but the eyes were raw, almost imprinted from a not-so-distant memory. Where? Where had she seen them? The eyelids applied pressure once more before her blue eyes fought that pressure to be met by the natural light in the room once more. "Oh god..." she whispered. "Brennan's dream."  
  
Her eyes searched the empty space in front of her. They found nothing but the realization felt like a sharp stab to her chest, forcing the Psionic to shut those blues once more. "How did that..." she wanted to continue with her wondering when her mind began exploring, almost independently, once more to return to her memories of the Feral and penetrate the force field surrounding her important thoughts, at least those on the surface; those thoughts which she could access with the littlest effort.  
  
She saw a road; a wide, dusty, abandoned road. Her senses were her eyes, providing light for her, giving her the opportunity to see. Everything else around her was covered in darkness. Emma felt momentarily shivers. It was cold although everything else around her was eerily tranquil. She wanted to call out but the silence appeared more demanding.  
  
Her feet began to walk on the dusty road. For a short moment a small flash came into view in the distance and an unclear voice which resembled Jesse's. He might have been calling for help but it did not appear strong enough for a full detection by her senses so she continued forward. As she walked, another memory was thrown back at her. It hadn't been from the attackers but rather Adam's funeral. Emma looked at her hands as they rested on the soft green grass while the sun shone sadly over her and her friends. The image in front of her brought a heavy black stone on her heart.  
  
Her body tried to appear heavier on the couch on which it laid as she gripped the edges of the armrest beneath her head. Her gaze glided silently over the deceased corpse of their mentor. Funny... it should have been raining, thunder, heavy black clouds but there was intense sunshine instead. She was sitting on the grass, two feet away from the dreaded site. His face peaceful and clean... they had cleaned him with great care two days before, Shalimar and she; his body was still and almost perfect as if he had died in his sleep, experiencing the sweetest of dreams. Emma tried to breathe in but if felt difficult; his body although peaceful sent annoying needle-like obstacles for her to lungs to process the air in the right order; the heart, trying to rid itself from the heavy stones of grief could offer no other help but increase her difficulty in her fight to breathe correctly. More pressure was applied to her blue eyes as the memories made the eyelids heavier.  
  
The weather was warm, almost beautifully warm but she felt so much colder inside. all of them did. Her inner torture did not seem enough for some evil force watching over her. No, she "needed" the sufferings of her friends as well. Yes, she needed more weight to be placed upon her, her mind, her senses... her heart. The dark and depressing emotions of the people surrounding her were arriving every moment and layering themselves on her. Her psyche gave little resistance to them. She thought she was stronger than this but the sharp correction erased that false hope quickly.  
  
A cold sigh. Emma closed her eyes. She knew the others were in pain but she wanted them to stop; she wanted them to turn off their emotions and just stare coldly in front of them. Another sigh. Why was she being so selfish? Was she not tough enough to pass through this sad time by herself? Of course she would not walk through it alone... but it was getting growingly difficult for her to shield herself from the deepening remorse which generated from the others. A soft hand was felt on her shoulder as the tears barely took a moment to disappear. Her hand wanted to touch it but instead it remained on the grass. She did not know how her psyche and heart would endure the following days. She would try. It would be torturous beyond her humanly stamina but she would try.  
  
The greenness of the grass beneath her fell into the dusty brown color of the familiar road. Emma wiped the invisible tears from the soft surface of her cheeks and took a deep breath before she continued. While walking, she temporarily dived into her own hesitation of whether to continue this small journey with more painful memories she knew would attack her without warning and without mercy. She stopped and looked around. It was still silent; still dark with only the road visible to her eyes. Emma needed help but neither Jesse nor Brennan could provide it for her.  
  
She would have to continue. Perhaps more answers could be found this way. Ten steps were taken when her mind was sucked in yet another vortex of memories/unearthly illusions.  
  
She stood on an empty street at night. The sign as the beginning had said "KEEP OUT" with letters in red paint but Emma apparently had passed it without much thought. The buildings were barely visible and only their giant presence was sensed without the chance to be ignored. But the buildings were empty; there were the flickering lights from the bent but tall polls which were struggling to maintain their function. Two old pages of a newspaper rolled swiftly in front of her, across the empty street. Only a few howls of hungry wolves were needed for this scene to resemble that of a horror movie.  
  
She was waiting for someone but without certainty of their identity. Her further thinking was stopped when two hands grabbed her shoulders and pulled her back, pinning her to the body of her attacker without the opportunity for the upcoming assault to be returned. Her heartbeats rose when her mouth was violently covered with the intention to be ripped out. Her regular breathing came into difficulties as an arm was wrapped too tightly around her waist and her hands held by another person she could not see - a shadow that appeared next to her without a face. Then a third shadowy figure materialized in front of her, causing her heart's pace to increase even further, reaching its limit. Another disturbing surprise and the heart would surely rip itself out of her chest and simply the mere thought felt rigorously painful. Suddenly two eyes were uncovered in front of her; blue and bright but that heavenly color could not mask the devious intentions lurking inside them. Emma wanted to scream but she couldn't. The eyes frightened her. Their gaze unwontedly reached down inside her, pulling out further evidence of the Psionic inability to battle this fear. Her powers were dead. They did not function. This realization caused further panic. She was helpless.  
  
The shadowy figure lifted a metallic object in front of it. It had three long thin knives with edges which appeared deadly sharp with fresh blood dripping from them. The site of the weapon reached inside the Psionic once again. Her fear, instinctively increased, blowing icy winds inside her, causing her to shiver. This was not a memory. This never happened! What was this? "Help!!" She screamed franticly beneath the cold pressure of the hand.  
  
No one.  
  
The eyes smiled devilishly. "Don't struggle," a voice from the shadow was heard. It sounded childish and calm... it sounded unfamiliar.  
  
Emma shut her eyes tightly. She could not battle this. She wanted to remove the images but it was hard. "Em! Em!" she then heard Brennan's voice but her fear kept his face invisible to her.  
  
Then something happened. That voice sent strange waves around her, relieving the pressure on her lips, shoulders, wrists and waist until it finally disappeared. She could breathe now. She could finally breathe. Opening her eyes quickly, Emma saw the Elemental's face upon her. There was natural light once more; the darkness disappeared; the eerie silence was gone; the cold eyes were replaced with the chocolaty warmth of her friend. Pulling herself up, she flung her arms around him, embracing him tightly with the fear that one loose moment might cause him to disappear. "Oh god... oh god... Bren..." she breathed out, staring in front of her. The bodily warmth increased as his arms were wrapped securely around her, allowing her to drift into the corridors of needed safety.  
  
"Shh... it's ok." he whispered softly. Her grip appeared with such might that if Brennan hadn't been physically built as strong as he had been, she would surely squeeze the life out of him.  
  
Emma did not want to shut her eyes again. She did not want to return to the dark fear which was beginning to ruthlessly cut a cold, spiky bath for itself inside her, going towards her heart. "What happened?" she heard him ask.  
  
"Those eyes," Emma spoke with an uncertainty so obvious in her voice that it almost wanted to shout out to be heard. "I saw..." she took in some air, "I saw the same eyes from your dreams..." she was fighting not to allow the shivering to appear; she did not need to appear so vulnerable, not now.  
  
"And?"  
  
"They wanted to hurt me and I... I-I couldn't do anything," but her voice betrayed her. Brennan already felt her lack of defenses and he proved that by tightening his embrace, increasing the unnecessary comfortable safety around the Psionic.  
  
"A dream?"  
  
"No, no... I don't know what it was but it felt..." if she would allow herself to cry right now, the distress would pull down an entire flood of thick colorless tears. "Scary." The last word transformed the trembling voice into a soft whisper as she buried her lips into the rugged material of Brennan's shirt. Her eyes continued to stare needlessly in front of her; she did not feel safe enough to return to the darkness of her mind again.  
  
He could feel the dry flesh of her lips even beneath the clothing. She was breathing steadily as the warm waves of her breath hit the surface of his skin like sea water on an abandoned rocky shore. Brennan picked up a strange smell which sent a brief sign of alarm through him until he realized that he could not only feel the insecurity through the movement of her body and the sound of her voice but he could also smell it. He sighed sadly; she was beginning to draw concerns from him.  
  
********* 


	14. chapter 14

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters from 'Mutant X'. They're not my property. They belong to Tribune Entertainment.  
  
***  
  
*********  
  
The silent moment between the Elemental and Psionic was kept until a familiar voice disconnected them from their stillness. "If Shal could see you right now."  
  
When feeling the removal of her lips from the indirect contact which they had with his skin, he turned his head and saw Jesse standing beneath the now functional clock. "What about it?"  
  
Jesse shook his head as a response to Brennan's question but his expression from a disturbing flatness transformed into minimal bemusement when his eyes noticed Emma's face. "What happened?" he then asked cautiously.  
  
"Um," Emma quickly withdrew her hands away from the natural and even comforting warmth of Brennan's neck as if she had done a serious crime with their mere placement around that part of his body. She began rubbing her right eye as she replied: "I just had some weird... bad vision."  
  
"What about?" The Molecular's hands found themselves on his waist.  
  
"I don't know," she shrugged and spoke in a tone as it had been nothing but a worthless dream. "Some shadows, huge scary eyes... quite creepy."  
  
"Are you alright?" his concern rose higher as he approached the Psionic.  
  
Emma nodded. "Yeah. I'm ok. Just a brief scare, nothing serious." A smile finally managed to be placed on her face.  
  
His eyes took an exasperating glimpse of Brennan before he settled them on the redhead again for a while. "Oh."  
  
Emma tried to squeeze her eyes inside her eye sockets as she observed Jesse back. "What happened?" the worry drifted in her voice. The response in his look was not welcoming.  
  
"I felt a little dizzy while fixing the clock. It's nothing." His hand tried to brush the words away. He did not want her to worry with such potency... she appeared to have been doing that ever since Adam's death.  
  
Emma sensed this and swallowed with desperate hopes for lack of notice by the two men. He *was* calling for her. Little pieces of guilt began climbing inside her; she wished his signal was stronger but it did not even approach that level, instead it was weak, worryingly weak. But he was alright now. He looked well. There was nothing on his face or mind which could indicate that temporarily unpleasant change of his state. She would believe him for now. "Yeah."  
  
Jesse took a step back. "Is Shal awake?" he asked simply.  
  
"No. She's still sleeping," Brennan answered to receive only a nod from the Molecular.  
  
"I'm...uh... I'm going to check on her." Jesse pointed weakly towards the bedroom and walked away.  
  
"What's with him?"  
  
"Overly protective of Shalimar. More than usual..." Emma responded quietly.  
  
"It seems so."  
  
Her blue eyes slowly shifted to have a frame of Brennan's face. "She didn't wake up?"  
  
He looked back at her with neutral gaze but it soon began showing sad signs of false hope. "No." Brennan sighed. "It's worrying."  
  
"It really is." Their voices were two steps away from deaf whisper.  
  
The clock on the wall accidentally came into her view. Seven - it showed. The casting shadows of the evening were slowly ordering the faint sun to disappear in deep slumber until tomorrow. Emma's back was the first to feel the cold effect from those shadows and a moment later so did Brennan's arm. "I didn't know I fell asleep," she whispered. Strange and quiet feelings of relief rocketed up towards her brain. It had been a dream... no, a nightmare. A sad sigh escaped her. For a few barely visible moments a sign of hope had emerged that she could be closer to an answer before being carelessly snatched away by this accidental glimpse of the clock. "It was a dream," she told him with a higher tone.  
  
"It was..."  
  
"Yeah. Uh..." she then squeezed the soft skin on his right arm. "Can you take me to the alley?" Emma requested.  
  
The question received little hospitability from him. "Why?" he asked her.  
  
"I wanna take a look."  
  
"We searched everything."  
  
"Maybe you still missed something." A line next to her lips was an invitation for a smile but one which was quickly rejected.  
  
He looked at the window. "It's going to be dark soon."  
  
"Which is why I need extra protection."  
  
"What's going on?" he asked her with drops of suspicion in his voice.  
  
She looked at the table where the two pieces of metal were placed. Standing up she then walked over to them and ran her eyes over the now cold material of the objects. The bloodstains on the second piece sent a lightning of memories from the nightmare before they flashed almost brutally before her eyes. She blinked twice to regain the comfort of the present. Like a soft breeze it traveled inside her to embrace her senses in the familiar security. "It felt so real," a voice only for her sounded. "Em?" his voice traveled lightly over to her.  
  
She spun around. "I gotta see the place," Emma demanded quietly.  
  
There was no verbal response from the Elemental while he continued to wait for a real answer from her.  
  
"Brennan, please," she asked him. The frostiness of her previous behavior would be a good excuse for him to reject that plea with the tiniest hesitation or the comprehensible lack of it and she would understand him but Emma wanted to go to that alley; step on that dark piece of dead city ground. Perhaps something would enter her mind to indicate at least a few scraps of needed clues or only a clue.  
  
The minority of her positive expectations were satisfied when they received Brennan's response which consisted of the removal of his body from the couch and its approach towards the Psionic.  
  
*********  
  
Through the thin cracked space between the cold painted wall and the wooden door, Jesse's left blue eye watched the two mutants walk slowly through the main doorway. When the entrance door clicked, signaling their final departure, the Molecular moved his teeth and turned around. The room was weakly covered by the fading lamp that barely generated the little energy it had from its two light bulbs.  
  
With soft steps he silently treaded towards the bed. The darkness fell viciously tonight in Jesse's view, devouring the sun in a time when it could have granted the illuminate sustainer of life a few more hours... longer hours for his sleeping friend to bathe unconsciously in the natural warmth, for her thoughts to have a healthy place to swim in. He cursed the night only for himself and fell slowly on his knees before bringing his arms at the edge of the bed. His chin touched the soft skin of his hand while his eyes watched the tired image of the woman sleeping on the bed.  
  
"Shal?" He whispered so faintly that even his own ears could barely detect the name. But the stillness of her face was the only response which he received. His index finger touched her right cheek, sliding tenderly down to her chin. The skin felt dry beneath his touch, different than before. He thought that he had even managed to scrap away a few strange dead cells with his fingers as her skin was silently begging for moisture. any kind of moisture, as it had little tolerance of the increasing dryness. His eyes narrowed. "Strange..." he thought. "How did it get like this?"  
  
Once more he brushed his finger gently on Shalimar's cheek and then brought his hand closer to his eyes for observation. Tiny white particles were spread on that surface. Jesse returned his gaze to Shalimar. His thumb pressed against the particles before removing them in the colder air arriving from the open window. The oddity of the discovery quickly rushed to the back of his mind. He dismissed it immediately for reasons unknown.  
  
"You'll be alright, won't you?" he pleaded with a boyish whisper. His fingers crawled slowly to her hand that shielded her stomach. Smoothly his fingers took hold of hers and dragged her hand closer to him. The change registered nothing in Shalimar's soporific mind.  
  
Her hand took the protection of Jesse's hands as they covered it with little pressure. Watching it being safely hidden beneath his safeguard, Jesse could hear Shalimar's shallow breathing. "Do you think... this would have happened if you came with me instead of Brennan?" he only captured a brief glimpse of her unchanged face drenched beneath the heavy water of dreams.  
  
He hoped she was surrounded by dreams, pleasant ones; dreams which would give the mind healthy nourishment and provide a silky result of a happier view once the eyes would suck in the first rays of the morning; not dreams that would transform into nightmares and eat away the energy of the brain with such hunger that it would only give aggravating exhaustion and unwillingness to continue the wakefulness in the day.  
  
"I don't think you would have... you would've been safer here." He nodded with bold assurance in his voice as he gently squeezed her hand. It felt easier for the hostility to take over the larger part of him rather than the brotherly forgiveness towards the Elemental.  
  
*********  
  
Their steps were the only sounds made in the suffocating night air of the dark alley. Neither Brennan nor Emma spoke a single word since they left the apartment. A strong enough topic did not manage to surface to their minds, capable of pulling out verbal exchanges from their lips. As trade for that absence, both mutants let the silence be their invisible companion for the time being.  
  
Emma looked up at the sky. The sun had disappeared and everything was painted either ghostly blue or sadistically purple. The blood in her veins momentarily froze when her blues came across little fluffy pieces of black thin material. Clouds. She cringed. "It won't start raining. It won't!" she huffed inside with tamed disapproval, distant from anger. They were so small but they can get bigger, they can grow and unkindly envelop even the moon before a large and frightful arrow of lightning would appear as if released from the gods, giving out one final warning and then their liquid product would be poured down on the unsuspected victims, making their way on the cold, isolating concrete ground.  
  
"It's not gonna start raining." She heard Brennan say to her. Her initial reaction of quickly spinning her head to meet his eyes was beaten by the slower, more casual approach.  
  
"How do you know?" she asked him. Her senses tried to find the cause of his notice. The results which she received were slightly disturbing: he had smelled her fear and annoyance clinging on the outer walls of her psyche.  
  
"Well, look at the sky." He nodded upwards toward the wide horizon above them. "Those puny clouds could hardly produce enough rain to soak a cat, let alone the entire city."  
  
Emma snorted. His voice managed to caress the spiky edges of her exasperation until the smoothness was given space, without the Psionic's knowledge. "Since when did you know this much about weather forecasts?"  
  
"Dare you ask?" a lifted eyebrow on his face and a small bolt between his fingers gave her an answer.  
  
A short but honest giggle was heard from Emma and a responsive brief smile was seen on Brennan. A sweet but quickly disturbed moment.  
  
"Silly question," she corrected herself and took a deeper breath. "Are we close?" Emma asked.  
  
"Almost."  
  
"Ok."  
  
An unexpected bizarre vibration ran through her when they took a left turn, closer to the destination. The waves of the vibrations felt worrying. Hitting the shore of her mind they signaled for her alertness as it raced up as quickly as it could to the higher levels of her consciousness.  
  
The Psionic suddenly stopped with her arm blocking Brennan's path.  
  
"What is it?" Puzzlement covered the Elemental's face as he looked at his friend.  
  
Emma returned his gaze with a more intensive one painted with distressing warning.  
  
Reading her quickly, he let her silent message be absorbed by his mind. Brennan returned his face in front of him and closed his eyes tamely. He nodded. "Yep," was his response before the sudden reopening of his browns followed and the swift movement of his right arm that let out a larger bolt of electricity towards the higher left corner of a right-sided building covered by pitch black shadows.  
  
A loud and painful animal scream was heard before a large, unrecognizable shadowy figure was seen falling down. Indistinct, heavy breathing followed the sound of the figure hitting the ground, emerging from the thick black covers and beneath the faint lamp, flashing enough to show color of skin.  
  
The two mutants took cautious steps toward the fallen victim until a disturbing stench and an image of familiarity rooted their feet to the filthy and cold ground. Blood rushed viciously though their bodies with such angry speed that it would either burst though their skin or clog the tiny canals giving hurried stoppage of the mutants' bodily and vital functions.  
  
Emma's lips parted by a small shivering force as her eyes were devouring the figure lying almost helplessly in front of them, three feet away. "It *is* you..." she said dimly.  
  
The large yellow eyes with their thick black pupils stared back at the two mutants with the eyelids tightening and loosening weakly around them, the surrounding shadows giving them an even bigger distance from jovially friendliness.  
  
********* 


	15. chapter 15

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters from 'Mutant X'. They're not my property. They belong to Tribune Entertainment.  
  
***  
  
*********  
  
"Yes, freak! It *is* me!*" Caleb hissed back.  
  
Brennan's eyelids lowered themselves with such pressure that they were nearly crushing his eyeballs. "You fucked-up son of a bitch!" The building anger inside only pumped up larger and larger amounts of electricity inside his body, passing over the limit of safe voltage quantity. The starting results emerged from his fingers in forms of thick sparks, developing sufficient light matter before he threw it heatedly in Caleb's direction.  
  
The amphibian creature sprinted quickly to the left side, harrowingly escaping the deadly bolt. The soles of his feet and palms took hold on the moth-covered bricks of the building; the orange coloring slowly flowed over the weaker nuance of yellow, returning the original appearance of his inhuman eyes. "As tempting as it seems, I don't want to fight you, Elemental."  
  
"Good. Stay where you are then, so I can finish you off more easily." Taking a few steps forward, Brennan brought his hands to form a small circle, readying them for another dosage.  
  
"You're not doing yourself any favors by this, Elemental!" Caleb warned him before taking another leap to land on his strong feet in the middle of the path.  
  
"Yeah?" How so?" Another bolt was released from Brennan's hands but once more it did not manage to hit the target, much to the Elemental and Psionic's dismay. The high quantities had managed however to drain sufficient energy from him, leaving him temporarily "unarmed".  
  
"Why did you have to kill him?" the desperate restrains in her voice were on their last strength from pushing the inedible rage of the Psionic.  
  
"I wish I had done that, Psionic, I really wish I had." The excessive thick salvia that was emerging from Caleb's mouth in the mixture of the artificial light and crude darkness appeared as black tar rather than something more organic. A sudden tightening of his windpipe and the growing pressurized force around his entire neck region began to pull the creature towards the ground while he began struggling to inhale as much needed air as his capacity would allow, regaining the normal flow of oxygen. "Stop it!" His distorted voice became attacked by the rough pebbles of the rapid psychological interruption, clouding the little clarity it had.  
  
Feeling the full recharging of his mutated energy was farther than desired for, Brennan took hold of the diversion caused by Emma and rushed toward the struggling green mutant.  
  
Seeing this, Caleb spun around, facing the Elemental with his back until Brennan captured him from behind with the intention of throwing him across the wall. But the moment Brennan's hands touched the back of the creature, Caleb's skin immediately began leaking out thick pink masses of unusual substance which started quickly eating away of the human skin above it. Not being able to withstand the feeling of acid, Brennan yanked himself away from Caleb with angry and painful groans.  
  
The concern over her friend immediately disconnected the mental power which she held over the amphibian. "Brennan?" she called over to the bent mutant, touching the wall behind him.  
  
"My hands! My fucking hands!" Brennan yelled in disgust and soreness, staring at the large blisters with the still present pink mass, coloring over them.  
  
Emma wanted to run over in his aid but the recovering green creature only a few feet away from Brennan, held her in her place with uncertainty.  
  
"I did not kill the scientist, you ignorant freaks!" Caleb hissed intensely.  
  
"Really, and it would be that easy to believe you, huh?" Emma replied with righteous doubt as her eyes shifted between Caleb and Brennan.  
  
"You can tell with your deformation whether I'm lying or not!"  
  
Emma growled. "It's a gift." She narrowed her eyes. "And it's too late to be playing truth or lies right now, Caleb!" Waiting for a response she did not receive, Emma rushed to Brennan, sitting on the ground.  
  
Gently taking his right hand, Emma noticed the ugly results of Caleb's defense. Looking up, the blend of anger and pain swirled in Brennan's eyes like a livid hive. Touching his shoulder, Emma concentrated on his mind before an easing flow of relieving morphine began flowing down though him, bringing weight on his eyelids.  
  
"He could have killed him," a voice screeched inside her. Her lunges were hurriedly processing the air, running through them when her body felt a sharp thug, landing it on the disgustingly dirty ground.  
  
"We have got to stop meeting like this." Caleb spoke with those steadily disturbing eyes.  
  
Emma struggled to focus when a medium blow to her head disrupted not only her ability to concentrate but her perception of the surroundings. The images in front of her stretched toward surreal formations and the crystal clarity of the sounds was harshly smudged to incoherent noises.  
  
"One of your own is hurt, isn't she?" Caleb continued to speak with satisfying cynicism in his voice.  
  
"Uh... what?" Her response appeared disoriented. The pressure was no longer present on her arms and torso. Letting her hands explore the surface of her head aloofly for a physical sign of damage. But even her fingers were barely touching deeper than the hairs on her head as her brain labored itself to shove in more control to them and bring as much of desperately needed normal functioning as it could to her senses.  
  
"You better pray she does not have a mark on her elbow, otherwise..." he brought his mouth closer to her left ear. "She won't be breathing air much longer," and soon enough the amphibian creature swiftly removed himself from the Psionic. Where he later disappeared was beyond the range of interest or capabilities in both mutants' conditions, putting them both under temporarily sleep.  
  
*********  
  
After the crafty work her brain had went through to repair some of the strongest damage done, Emma slowly sat up with 80 percent of the disorientation disappearing. The coldness of the ground had seeped in her delicate skin, sending shivers through her entire body, forcing it to quickly separate itself from the source. This gave her an indication that the time she had spent lying down was long.  
  
Realizing that she had arrived here with Brennan, Emma tried to immediately spin around and find him. Her eyes found him sitting down in the same position in which she last saw him. Approaching him slowly, Emma touched her head as the feeling of trembling waves after a hit with a hammer on a gong, flowed inside her. Her eyelids pressed tightly. It gave aching. "I'm going to tear that bastard from the inside next time I see him," Emma told herself.  
  
Crouching down in front of him, she whispered softly. "Bren? Can you hear me?" Her quiet calling must've triggered an alarm inside the Elemental as he slowly opened his eyes. "Mm?" Detecting her somewhat tired face his eyes widened with a verbal question to follow but the still present pain on his hands cut him off. "Argh!" His gaze speared down to the source. "That son of a bitch!" he hissed angrily.  
  
"I know."  
  
"Where is he?" he looked up at her.  
  
"Gone, apparently." She tilted her head with a sympathetic expression when she felt concern drifting from him as a result of her tired image. "I'm ok, my head hurts a bit but I'm ok." Seeing his eyes fall on his hands again, she sighed. "Come on, let's go back." She reached for his arms but Brennan managed to quickly stand up on his own, not giving his friend a chance to help him. "You don't look good." She heard him say. Emma snorted weakly. "Thanks. Neither do you."  
  
*********  
  
Brennan glanced at his injuries with amazement that they had remained the same. He did not know how long his consciousness had switched places with his subconscious, letting him sleep, but it felt long.  
  
Emma had disappeared into the kitchen preparing something, giving Brennan to do nothing in the meantime but walk over to the bedroom and check on Shalimar. Moving the door slowly forward his elbow, he was slightly startled to notice another person lying on the bed beside the Feral. His senses eased when the site of Jesse came into a clearer view. He glanced at the lamp. Jesse must have forgotten to turn it off. It was better that he didn't as it gave Brennan a chance to see his lover once more.  
  
He crouched down in front of her, staring at her face. She appeared to be trapped in her slumber still but below her eyes darker half-circular shapes were beginning to become recognizable. Brennan pressed his lips to disallow his sigh to escape through them. The guilt for his absence was with less intensity than he had anticipated but the concern over her wellbeing had not disappointed him. Although the physical pain on his hands was distractive, his eyes absorbed her entire face, giving them an even bigger hunger for knowing the truth. "Who did this, sweetie?" his voice did not venture from his mouth although his lips were moving.  
  
He wanted to touch her with his fingers, but the damned wounds gave him no such luxury. It annoyed him. If he could kill Caleb with his thoughts, Brennan would have done it without hesitation. The creature was responsible for Adam's death and who knows what he had done to Emma... Brennan knew she wouldn't tell him, although the reason for that was foreign to him.  
  
Shalimar had not awoken a single time since he returned and it saddened him. Emma had the opportunity to see her open eyes and hear her speak and so did Jesse, but faith was somewhat less merciful to him.  
  
She looked tired, almost exhausted and it puzzled the Elemental as she had gotten more than the needed sleep to regain her primal strength. He wanted to check her wounds but foreseeing that it might disturb her, he swiftly changed his mind.  
  
The silence surrounding them, gave him an opportunity to listen to her breathing for a while... it appeared disrupted, almost as if she had sand in her lungs. His eyebrows furrowed. She did not appear well, she did not appear better... sadly, she appeared worse. Somehow this thought stuffed a thick unidentifiable mass in his throat at the very bottom, on the line between the entrapment and "freedom" in the lower parts of his organism. An eerily bad feeling was begging to wrap itself around the outer walls of parts of his brain and the entrance of his heart and its edges having long lost the smoothness of comfort had replaced it with the spikes of disturbance.  
  
For four short, but to his mind incredibly long, seconds, fear had literally swallowed him inside its black shadows, devouring the thick courage he bore with him. "No," he whispered and shut his eyes as tightly as possible to banish the unwanted feeling. The voices settled, the fear disappeared but the consequences remained to linger secretly in the lower corridors of his beating heart. Shifting his eyes to the ceiling, he then took a deeper breath and managed to return his calmer self. Bringing his gaze down to Shalimar again, he fought hard and finally swallowed the mass in his throat. "Wake up soon?" he pleaded with such silence that only the Feral could hear him, had she been awake. Standing on his feet once more, Brennan bent down and kissed her lips softly. "Goodnight," he breathed into her.  
  
When he returned to the living room, he found Emma standing by the couch with a bronze tray in her embrace. "Are you alright?" she asked him worryingly.  
  
Brennan nodded. "Yeah. I'm fine." He sat down.  
  
Emma felt his dishonesty. Putting the tray on the table, she then picked up one of the two bandages which had a strange gooey mixture of green, purple and red paved on its surface.  
  
"What's that?" Brennan asked doubtfully as the Psionic was preparing to place the bandage around his hand.  
  
A line to the left side extended her lip. "It's a homemade recipe." She looked at him and saw the mistrust in him. "Don't worry. It'll sting at first, but tomorrow your hands will be just the way they were before."  
  
"Em, I'm not in the mood for bullshit," he spoke quietly.  
  
"It's not bullshit, Bren. It's um... a very special formula. It'll heal the wounds much quicker than any other remedy."  
  
"Oh I see... magic?" he said mockingly.  
  
Emma smiled once more. "Yes," she replied, almost lightly. "It's magic."  
  
Exhaling, he decided to let his rational side take a needed vacation and give into her persuasions. Whatever vegetable or mineral she had crushed to get this mess, he hoped it would at least ease the pain in his hands and return the feeling it them.  
  
The first time the different chemical substances touched, it felt like a momentarily heated eruption of pain and itchiness, burning even deeper in Brennan's skin. "Holy fuck! It hurts!"  
  
"Effective cures usually do," Emma said while wrapping the bandage carefully around his left hand. "It'll be gone quickly," she reassured him.  
  
"You're pretty calm," he said warily.  
  
She sent him a glance. "How should I be?"  
  
"I don't know. I mean with what happened earlier....."  
  
Emma sighed. "Yeah. But... being frustrated is gonna get me even more tired."  
  
Her voice was tremendously soft. If she would've dared to sing a lullaby to him right now with such a tone, he would surely fall asleep. His eyes followed the movement of her hands as they tried to tighten the bandage with the final ends but without causing further agony to her "patient". When the left hand was securely tightened, Emma took the other piece of medical cloth. "I feel like I'm six right now," Brennan said with a weak smirk.  
  
"Why's that?" Emma applied another small smile.  
  
"'Cause you remind me of aunt. I was pl- ouch!" the collision of substances cut his sentence short for a moment. "Damn it," he whispered.  
  
"Go on," she encouraged him, while wrapping the bandage carefully around the right hand.  
  
He took a deeper breath. After all the wounds that he had to endure through out the years, he would be more than "used to" such agony, even that of shorter durance. His reaction right now proved otherwise. "I bruised my hand on this rock. It hurt like hell and I cried like it, too." Brennan saw Emma's fingers running around the bandage to make sure it was secured. "My aunt then put something on my hands. It hurt even more but... the bruises disappeared quickly. It felt better." He nodded.  
  
A soft smile remained on Emma's face while watching him speak. She understood the meaning. "Thanks," she replied.  
  
"Are you alright?" he then asked her.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"How's your head?"  
  
"It's um better..." Emma stopped from saying more than this. She felt his disorganized feelings of anger and anxiety inside him because of Caleb, Shalimar's condition and even himself. If she would add more to her sentence she would only fuel his emotions. Emma could not let herself do that. It would have unwanted consequences and add more worries to the weight she was already carrying... she did not appear that strong.  
  
Looking in his eyes, being slowly drawn to the depths of that brown color, Emma felt the pressure inside him. He would need to release that in some way. "How did she seem?" She started.  
  
Looking past her, Brennan leaned back. "Not good." He shook his head. "Not good at all..." Exhaling, he had hoped that that would suffocate any tears which would eventually surface. What disturbed him more was his reaction to seeing Shalimar a moment ago. She was only temporarily disabled. Why was he taking this so tragically? Was it due to the uneasy intuition?  
  
"You'd think after all that damn rest she would not appear to be hanging to. uh, by a string of whatever. At least, that's how she... appeared to me. She's so tired. She-she looks like she hasn't slept in a week, her breathing is irregular, she's..." He stopped. The confession had dug deep inside him to find the carefully concealed tears and rushed them further up to reach the walls behind his eyes. A stone heavy sigh was released before he dropped his eyes to the site of his bandaged hands.  
  
"You think she's getting worse?"  
  
"Yeah. I have this feeling about something... it's horrible but I don't know what it is. When I was in there, it scared it shit out of me."  
  
"About Shal?"  
  
He nodded in response.  
  
Emma placed her hand on his shoulder. Her fingers felt the tension in his muscles. "She has to be alright. I don't see anything that could jeopardize that."  
  
"I hope you're right."  
  
"Me too," she whispered.  
  
"But it keeps coming back. It's, it's... Damn it!" The annoyance swirled hurriedly in his brain, arousing his senses for more fear.  
  
"Bren, please..." she spoke softly. "Calm down... she has to be ok... we're here to keep an eye on her, we won't let her get any worse." Emma placed her best convincing voice to ease Brennan's frustrations.  
  
"What if it's not up to us...?"  
  
"Bren, she..." Emma sighed. "It's not a major, life-threatening injury, it's not a virus, some disease... it's only a wound that's gonna heal soon."  
  
His gaze showed expected vulnerability as the tears slowly clouded the eyes. "I can't shake away that feeling... I..." breathing out annoyingly he placed the back of his hand above his nose before closing his eyes. He couldn't dismiss her image, the frailty of her face, the draining strength from her muscles. Everything surged inside him forcing him to replay it in his mind.  
  
That chaos was beginning to force inside her mind as well, trying to drill through the thick walls of her protection but Emma did not let it enter. The damage will be overwhelming. Instead she reached for his hand, lowering it down before placing her two hands tenderly on his face, cupping it. The moment her fingers touched the surface, his skin eased and gave into the softness. The fingertips felt the tiny needles of his barely seen unshaved beard. "We've been through enough for one day. Don't beat yourself up even more... please..."  
  
The softness of her voice reached a higher level, which cracked through any control present in his body and the tears were clouding his vision with such thickness that he could barely make out her face. This made a hole inside him to let in further unexpected fear to flow though, that she might be a dream and he was alone. The hands were not enough. He needed better proof. This wasn't the right time. He did not wish to be alone now. Without much thought, the Elemental leaned promptly forward, pressing his lips against Emma's. He captured them hungrily, afraid of letting them go.  
  
Emma's eyes burst open as the chaos inside his mind left no real opportunity for her to process his intended actions. But she did receive his fear of letting go. It bore into her like an arrow, capturing her senses with his strong emotions. Slowly, her eyes closed. She surrendered to his attack. Emma would reassure him that he wasn't alone. Her lips fought playfully with his, savoring their taste. Their taste was... sweet.  
  
There was no romance here, no sudden discovery of emotions of love and desire hidden for ages. It was simply a needing of nearness.  
  
The moment, however, was short. It did not deserve to be longer. It did not have the right to continue. Emma leisurely separated herself from him. Her breathing increased but she tried to keep it under control. "No... no," she warned as the kiss threw back memories of a night that happened four years ago. Loneliness was the reason that night; nothing else but loneliness.  
  
The disconnection of their lips tore away the barrier and released two tears to slide down on his cheeks. "I just..." there was childish shakiness in his voice but the secure certainty did not vanish. "Wanted to make sure you were still here." He confessed.  
  
Emma stared at him with heart-tearing pity and regretful sadness. The liquid products traveled slowly... painstakingly slowly on his still smooth skin, as if making a small path for a river to run through it. She wrapped her arms tightly around him, embracing him with sympathy and needed warmth. "It's gonna be ok, remember?" Emma closed her eyes. "It's gonna be ok..." the last word turned itself into a comforting whisper.  
  
It felt hard on him that he could not touch her like he wanted; that his hands could not feel the warmth reflecting from her. He wanted to complete the embrace, to make it full but he was unable to do it. Instead he wrapped his arms around her as much as they had the capability to do so and buried his closed eyes in her neck, feeling the blood pulsating against his eyelids. letting his senses know that she was real, alive. well. He would not be alone tonight.  
  
********* 


	16. chapter 16

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters from 'Mutant X'. They're not my property. They belong to Tribune Entertainment.  
  
***  
  
*********  
  
The hours faded into invisible sands across the room, dragging the consciousness of their passing from the two young souls. Their bodies listened little when it came tame for them to be separated. The warmth suited them, it was alluring.  
  
Finally however, their faces met. His tears were wiped by the skin on her neck and were absorbed inside her. She engrossed some of his anxiety with them but it did not affect her senses, it only softened her even more towards him. She felt his emotions, not to a level that they could bring in negativity to her senses but rather forgiving closeness.  
  
Their lips were empty of words for that moment, dry of everything. Emma stood up. She began walking away when a small thump inside her head, caused her to stop. Shutting her eyes, she slowly moved her hand up to touch her forehead but without any movement of her head so for Brennan to have no reason to suspect something was amiss. She intended to leave the room when his voice stooped her.  
  
"I don't wanna go to sleep."  
  
The lights were lowered until complete darkness was reached.  
  
"Why?" She stopped and turned around.  
  
"I'm. I don't want to."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because of the nightmares"  
  
"You're not starting to get scared of them, are you?"  
  
"Huh, that's an understatement."  
  
"Maybe. Go to sleep."  
  
"No."  
  
"They won't come back."  
  
"How do you know."  
  
"I don't. But you'll be exhausted if you don't get some sleep." "If they appear, Ill be exhausted anyway... I usually am."  
  
A sigh. "Maybe tonight won't be one of those nights."  
  
"Maybe."  
  
"So, go to sleep."  
  
"Stay with me."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Stay with me again."  
  
Silence.  
  
"Emma?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Please?"  
  
"Bren, if its 'cause of the..."  
  
"It's not 'cause of that."  
  
"Why then?"  
  
"Because when you did, they weren't there"  
  
"It was just a coincidence."  
  
"I don't know. So, will you?"  
  
Silence again.  
  
"Em, please?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Because you don't need me for that."  
  
"Why would you say that?"  
  
"Because you don't. I can't help you with the nightmares."  
  
"You did the last time."  
  
"No, I didn't."  
  
"Yes, you did."  
  
"What makes you so sure?"  
  
"It felt peaceful... like, they never happened."  
  
"You were probably thinking of something else."  
  
"No... I don't remember but I'm sure I wasn't. Stay."  
  
"Brennan, I can't control what you're dreaming."  
  
There was a smaller silence now... "You once did."  
  
She turned to him in the darkness, despite the invisibility of his face. "What?  
  
Nothing." He backed out quickly.  
  
She did not push him... it was tempting but she stayed away. "I can be in the next room. it wont make much difference."  
  
"I need you in the same room; it will."  
  
"Stop it. You don't need me for this."  
  
"I wouldn't be asking you if I didn't."  
  
"You'll be ok. Good night Brennan."  
  
Brennan stood up. "Em."  
  
"What?" she responded almost irritably.  
  
"Where are you gonna sleep?"  
  
Emma shook her head. She hadn't planned that. Jesse and Shalimar had already occupied the bedroom. It had only occurred to her now. "On the kitchen floor, I've no idea."  
  
"Don't be stupid. The couch is yours, I'm gonna get something for myself," he said and walked away towards the bedroom, leaving Emma with no chance of responding.  
  
Leaning back on the wall, Emma took the chance to close her eyes again. Although Caleb hadn't hit her with such intensity to introduce a concussion, it had oddly weighty consequences of small tremors around her brain cells. Sudden trembling pressure rushed through her nose, forcing her to sneeze it out. The thought that she had been lying on the cold ground had unfamiliarly slipped through her until now. Perhaps she could take a warm shower.  
  
*********  
  
Stepping on the tiled floor that had gained some heath due to the overwhelming amount of steam emerging from the shower, Emma wrapped the towel tightly around her small body. Picking up the red t-shirt, she was pleased that she had managed to find some of Shalimar's clothes but regretting she did not consider taking any from her own place. Of course, Emma hadn't anticipated that the days would stretch on like they did.  
  
Then the small yellow basket in the corner next to the door caught her attention. She approached it and when seeing the contents inside, Emma sighed sadly. She put her hand inside and pulled out a black sleeveless tee. The bottom of the clothing had been ripped and a dry blood stain had remained just above it. How did she not notice this before? The high and low emotions which Emma had received from Shalimar hours ago, rushed to the front of her mind, shutting her eyes quickly. A large rock dropped inside her, breaking away the planks of calmness but the Psionic quickly tried to rebuild them again. This was not the time to dive into more deep waters of aching and pitying. She had already tired herself enough from the constant swimming that she had to do to get away from the countless times she would dip her heart in the sadder, more depressing memories.  
  
It was late, Emma felt tired, and she needed sleep.  
  
*********  
  
The silent clock rang inside her, bringing her consciousness to the surface. Her eyes opened to the quiet night air; the absence of traffic in the lateness of the hour; a few steps of strangers rushing on the lonely pavement, eager to escape the insecurity of the nearly empty streets. She breathed in. The overdose of air struck a stingy area inside her head giving it brief aching. Her eyes closed and opened. It felt cold. Her hands took a firm grip of the blanket's edges even though they felt weak. She slid the fabric higher up until it touched the skin of her chin. The warmth applied itself on her arms and it felt better. The sudden insomnia opened her eyes widely, letting them absorb the lonely night life or its absence in front of her. They stared intensively as if anticipating something.  
  
The square windows captured by her gaze morphed into the single entrance and exit of the alley. The morning light had done almost nothing to improve her vision, letting everything be darker, grimmer, and hopeless. Her jaws shut tightly, trapping the dense air before swallowing it hungrily, although it only served as cold salty water when it reached further down, hitting the punctured corridor through her waist. She watched them walk away from her to stop at the entrance. "You weren't ordered to kill her!" a person's annoyed voice was heard.  
  
"We received what we needed; there is no need for her to remain alive," the other person argued calmly.  
  
"Who told you to do that?"  
  
Two of the men looked at each other and then back at the person in front of them. There was no response to his question.  
  
"You did more than you were supposed to do. Now leave. I'm going to finish the work here."  
  
"Yes, sir," the men agreed and walked off.  
  
Watching him approach her with quick steps, her eyes widened in shock as the blood and tears rushed with lightning speed to her eyes when he stood next to her, look down. The beatings of her heart drastically increased with the intention of nearly ripping the organ through her chest. "Oh my god..." she barely spoke as the shock sent the thick colorless liquid to trap the few strong cords of her voice and even blocking her windpipe for a millisecond.  
  
His soft eyes shone back at her with a strong form of regret and misery painted on them. He kneeled down and touched her cheek softly. "I am so sorry, Shalimar. Please..." he whispered with the caution to be heard by no one else except for her. "I didn't think this would happen... They weren't supposed to do this." His voice gave away the struggle inside him to sustain his calm exterior from the rush of millions of feelings from this site before him.  
  
She couldn't speak. A million thoughts were swirling inside her head to be transformed into proper questions and be blurted out but the stronger emotions rigorously forbid them any such action. The image before her was beginning to lose the colors, receiving a pale overlay. She blinked hard twice to maintain her focus of the person she believed was only a mirage. "A-Adam?" was one of the few words able to jump through those restrains and escape her lips. "It's y-ou?"  
  
He reached to the inside pocket of his coat and pulled out a thin, gray object, the size of a pen. When he pressed one of two blue buttons, a thin, short needle rose up from the upper edge. "This will help," he said and soon the Feral felt a short sting above her elbow. It caused her to moan painfully. All the aggressive injections she had endured moments before had made her more vulnerable to even this small needle. He then retrieved the needle and placed the object back in his coat. Once more he placed his hand on her cheek. Shalimar could notice that her condition was tearing him inside even more, knowing that he had no other option to help but with the injection. "I'm so sorry, Shalimar... I really am. You're going to be fine." He nodded.  
  
His voice stroke deep inside her as his touch was helping in the conviction that this was real. His presence was real and not an illusion. "Adam, how? You... you're dead... you..."  
  
He turned his head quickly behind him before returning his gaze on her. "I have to go. Shal, listen to me. You can't tell anyone about this, ok? You must not, *must not* tell anyone you saw me, alright? Not Emma or Brennan or Jesse. It's for their and your own safety. Do you understand that, Shal?"  
  
She nodded in response with tears. Her lips opened again to ask but Adam had disappeared before she had the chance.  
  
The entrance dissolved into the present form of the windows. She continued staring at that space before closing her eyes tightly, burring the side of her face in the soft surface of the pillow. "Forgive me..." Shalimar whispered. "Forgive me, Emma..."  
  
The knowledge she kept inside crushed her slowly, demanding to be released but she held it mightily back. Even her mind had placed iron bars on its front, to keep the Psionic's waves from reaching the information.  
  
"Forgive me," she whispered once more.  
  
********* 


	17. chapter 17

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters from 'Mutant X'. They're not my property. They belong to Tribune Entertainment.  
  
***  
  
*********  
  
He was sitting silently on the soft cushion where previously the weight of his head had made a deep imprint. Her small body bathed beneath the tender surface of his gaze, the deep chocolaty color feeding on the uncovered parts of her skin. They had immediately fallen asleep that night. There were no midnight conversations or any other unnecessary actions.  
  
He wanted to be certain that he had remembered his nightmare. He tried to bring back the images in front of him but he was unable to do that. He couldn't remember something that did not happen. Once again it was repeated. Once again a peaceful, clear night had wrapped its arms tightly around him without the polluted images emerging from the nightmare of his subconscious and giving both his mind and body repetitive interruptions. Brennan did not feel tired... once more.  
  
His eyes fell on the tiny fibers of the carpet. Perhaps the nightmares had vanished by themselves. Someone once told him that they were only reflecting the inner fears and conflicts of a person until they could be resolved somehow. He slowly shook his head. Nothing in those twisted images or sounds had registered some sort of familiarity with him. How could he interpret them? He tried several months ago and came up with no conclusion except for the blatantly obvious one: they did not represent anything about him.  
  
His eyes moved quickly over to the bedroom door and began drawing the lines of the object. He had sneaked in quietly to check on Shalimar with useless hopes of seeing her awake. While watching her, Brennan had pleaded with her to swim to the surface of her dreams and wake up. He needed to look into her eyes. He had not seen those beautiful, vibrant eyes in three days and Brennan missed them. He missed the explosion of life they could somehow, sometimes so cleverly express, giving their spectator a false picture of a woman that had never experienced a single trauma in her life. However, her face, still drowned in the unusual slumber had stubbornly rejected his pleas. That answer wrapped a barbwire around his heart, squeezing out the hope and replacing it with something darker. He felt sad and unwanted. And that other feeling, the one that kept predicting nothing but some gloomy future, continued to deviously smirk in the back corners of his mind. It would not release him.  
  
The short journey came to an end before the quiet face of Emma. His eyebrows arched sadly. He was not allowed to see Shalimar's eyes but his chocolaty eyes had gained entrance to the Psionic's deep blues. Some sort of a ridiculous compromise maybe? Yes, that could be 'it'.  
  
He stared through the deep red flesh of her lips. There was a disliking to the occurring kiss from the previous night. Disliking because of the present circumstances and because it was not a declaration of anything that could bare even the slightest resemblance of a warm, romantic, and even at times, ticklish emotion. The clouding of her image caused an increase of his fears brought on by loneliness and the unfriendly intuition. The entire mixture had swirled chaotically in his mind with such speed, letting him make no judgment of the consequences of his actions, leaving him bare and unarmed with only the single option of touching her in any way he could to reassure himself that he was not alone.  
  
And then he touched her. The warm skin of her lips had immediately sent a heartening, almost flaming river to rush through him. When that river touched him with every single drop, the fear of loneliness was beginning to leave him without wanting. Realizing the form of his action brought a silent request from him that Emma somehow understood the reason behind that touch... that Shalimar understood.  
  
The table next to him lured his eyes to travel flatly on its surface. He was looking at the table like this when a quiet knock on the door distracted him. Brennan looked up to find a short redhead open the door. He wanted to smile but his heart was nowhere to obey that wish, it was not willing to. She had longer hair then and it suited her. It suited her beautifully.  
  
"Would some company be ok?" she spoke softly with empathy in her voice.  
  
Brennan nodded in response and saw her tread quietly over the hard surface of the floor, almost like a small fairy. He was not quite sure of whether a presence of another living person was a needed one so soon but he did not wish to be completely isolated... and not from her. His throat suddenly trapped small bits of air as she sat next to him on the bed; her blue eyes could kiss his brown ones if they could from the way she was looking at him. Those eyes were covered by the protective eyelids the day before when Richard held her tightly by her delicate neck.  
  
Richard had kidnapped two nine-year old twins with rich parents. Everyone thought he wanted money for the children's return. That was the way it appeared. But then he learned of the interesting thermal abilities they had. He knew Genomex would have an interest in requiring such specimens.  
  
He caught her during the rescue mission and he was prepared to kill her if the others refused to allow his departure. Richard must have been nervous because the grip he had of Emma's neck was a very tight one. He would have squeezed the air and life out of the Psionic if Brennan hadn't reacted quickly. The Elemental urged Richard to stop his actions but the man did not listen. Emma was already disabled and close to collapsing lifelessly. There was no other choice available to Brennan. With a strong electrical bolt he threw Richard flying backwards, releasing Emma before she collapsed on the ground. Brennan ran to his fallen friend while Richard fell on two thick and rusty poles with sharp edges. No one knew those poles were there, not even Brennan. He wished they weren't there and he wished Richard had survived despite his despicable actions. Brennan wished all of this because Richard was his friend. Everything turned out differently.  
  
And now she was sitting next to him, looking back at him with those big blue eyes. He saved her and for that he was relieved and grateful. But he also lost a friend and for that he felt sad. Brennan saw her right hand approach his face before taking a strain of hair close to his eyes and distancing it from them. Somehow he wished that strain of hair could feel the sympathetic touch of her fingers. It would send the wrong message if he had tried to brush her cheek. Brennan was simply pleased that she was well and alive. There had been countless times when she had been only a breath- taking second away from the sharp, merciless clutches of death and each moment had been more intense than the other. Those moments only added more bricks to the growing wall of possessiveness around her, but one which the Psionic did not try to break free from but rather cherish the effects of such a stronghold.  
  
She did not have to ask of his current emotions. She already knew them. He wondered if she could have known them if she were not a telempath. He despised the feeling of losing her. Of course he hated the mere thought of losing any of his teammates and friends but Emma was something that was distant from a simple and understandable explanation. What would happen to a person if they lost something that felt like an extensive part of them in such a comfortable and natural way? Empty and emotionally destructing. It would dig a burning hole inside them and continue to frequently poor in depressing and thick lava of self-pity or hatred and little or no room for rapid healing.  
  
She was that surreal extension of him, a gentle soul that could never transform itself into a lover for him without the consequential burning of careless handling. He knew he could hurt her if they would ever dare to venture into such unsure and unpredictable waters. Those scars would not only brand her and itch from time to time to bring back memories of a less than perfect part of life but they would leave eternal marks on the skin of his heart and psyche as well. Forgiveness would not be easy and quick. He could not hurt he like that, he would never even try... at least not consciously.  
  
"I'll tell you again, Em. You gotta stop scaring the shit out of me like that every time," with a stronger attempt he had finally managed to pull out an expression that resembled a smile.  
  
She shrugged. "It's easer said than done," Emma said and moved her hands to slowly wrap them around the tightly-muscled arm of Brennan. Her grip was gentle but her fingers could somehow feel the steady and slow rush of blood through him. Her head bent on the side until it found a secure and comfortable spot on his shoulder. His muscles did not tense. This gesture was nothing new. They had comforted each other many times in the past. It was a regular escape, although brief, from the harsh winds of depressing reality. She knew it would sound meaningless despite the opposite feeling which would be backing her sentence: "I'm sorry about Richard," Emma spoke pensively.  
  
"He tried to kill you, don't be sorry," he replied, pushing the flatness in his voice.  
  
"He was your friend."  
  
"Yeah... was," he sighed and placed his left hand over her right. Her skin never managed to allow any condition to disturb the tenderness and close fragility of its surface. Brennan was glad for this. She felt so youthful to him. Her skin was young and gleeful like her heart. That feeling brushed softly against his beating heart and the heart smiled.  
  
"I expected bigger sadness from you after this..." she said, staring impassively in front of her.  
  
"I didn't know him as well as I thought I did," he replied.  
  
Those were the last words as silence screamed to take over the atmosphere of the room. None of the mutants objected to it.  
  
The silence was long, capturing an entire hour. He then looked down on her and she looked up at him. That gaze, that deep blue gaze. It began puncturing little holes through his fragile defenses. He did not even try to repair them; he felt no need for such an action. It was a soothing color to watch and he enjoyed the penetration she was accomplishing through him. It felt comfortable.  
  
That gaze suddenly disengaged from his as her head left his shoulder but not without leaving a profound, warm trace behind, still applying the remains of her bodily heat on the first layers of his skin.  
  
She turned her attention to the empty door with a musing cloud masking her eyes. Her hands did not detach from the surface of his arm, but loosened instead. He could not tell what thoughts might have lurked in her mind at that moment as there was nothing else coming from Emma except for the puzzling, quiet appearance.  
  
"What would have happened if he had killed me..." she whispered.  
  
Hearing her sentence, Brennan lowered his gaze to obtain a better view of her face. "You're kidding, right?"  
  
She turned to face him without a hint of such intention.  
  
"That's a 'no' then..."  
  
"How much would you have missed me?"  
  
Not hurrying to respond to her absurd question, he only stared back at her with a look that tried to scratch beneath the surface of her face and enter the realm of her thoughts for answers. She waited for him and his answer patiently.  
  
She suddenly appeared frightened; the way of her gaze was that of a small fawn sitting helplessly in the uncertain embrace of her captor, awaiting the indiscriminating jaws of death. But she was not in danger; her life was not placed in the hellish nearness with its end. This gaze was for him and the fear of the possible lack of being missed by her friends... the absence to deteriorate into unfamiliar forgetfulness of even the mere name which she bore.  
  
"Isn't that a stupid question to ask?"  
  
"Yeah, but I want to know..." she replied softly.  
  
Gently releasing his arm from her embrace, he lifted his hand and placed it on her arm. "I don't know, Em... I don't want to know, because..." he squeezed her arm when he noticed the opening between her lips with the intention to release a protest. Brennan understood her worry but he did not wish to indulge into such potentially hurtful thoughts and scenarios. "Because it won't happen... ever," the sharpness was placed thoroughly into the last word, enough for it to pierce its seriousness through Emma's skin and into her.  
  
He saw that she wanted to argue against that but instead she only brought the side of her face to the surface of his chest, telling him with that that she had changed her mind. Swiftly capturing his back with her hands, she closed her eyes and sighed. Brennan could feel that her ear had been placed just above his heart. Glancing down at the motionless red surface of her hair, be gently breathed into that thickness and not wanting to leave Emma by herself, he soon captured her body with his own arms.  
  
Tightening his embrace with the right amount to inject a sense of security, Brennan lowered his head and kissed her head. He then began leaning backwards until his back felt the soft, cotton surface of the duvet. Brennan could feel her listening to the quiet beating of his heart and possibly even the slow rush of blood around it. Separating his hand from her shoulder, he brought it upon her hair to stroke it gently as his eyes watched the ceiling aimlessly. He wondered if this was comfortable for her; he wondered if she did not wish to separate herself either because she had found some comfort and enjoyment in this physical closeness or because the ludicrous feeling of laziness head overtaken her. "The first, maybe," he thought. "The second it just stupid..." Once more he stroked her hair and took in a deeper breath. If she was even approaching the path to possible slumber, was this unexpected shifting of his chest disturbing her?  
  
Carefully he started turning his body towards the right side with Emma following him effortlessly until both of them were occupying the full space of the bed. Her face was closer to his now, he could feel. The rhythmical, warm breathing that had managed to escape from her lips was hitting the skin of his neck like little ocean waves. Lowering his eyes, he then met hers. It was now that he saw how tired she appeared. Her face started moving up and down gradually along with her eyes as if she was searching for something on his face. This movement puzzled him but he did not know why she was doing that and he did not want to ask. Somehow any hope of a verbal conversation had quickly been squeezed out of them. It did not feel awkward. It felt good; it felt better.  
  
Finally her movement stopped and she nested her face deep within the surface corridors of his neck. He closed his eyes, letting her breathing mix with the composition of the air and enter his lounges, soothing him enough to slowly lower his senses and guide him to sleep.  
  
Brennan then opened his eyes and found the sleeping figure of the redhead in front of him. He smiled briefly. That night was a pleasant one even though it had happened four years ago. It was still as fresh as yesterday in his mind. He failed to fully comprehend as to why it was like that but he did feel there was something different about that night. They must have felt like distant strangers, willing to unload their troubles on each other but at the same time as the closest of friends afraid to speak anything else and only let their bodies replace the closeness which could otherwise be reached with soft, simple words.  
  
He looked down at his bandaged hands. "Yeah, I should go check on these..." he thought and quickly stood up before going to the bathroom.  
  
********* 


	18. chapter 18

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters from 'Mutant X'. They're not my property. They belong to Tribune Entertainment.  
  
***  
  
*********  
  
He had been awake for only two minutes. Jesse gave good balance to himself with his arms so he could receive a clearer view of the Feral sleeping next to him. He smiled. It felt good to sleep next to her once again. His fingers touched the edge of her tired shoulder. He had confessed last night that he lacked the confidence about leaving her to sleep on her own but he was thankful that she did not hear him or at least he hoped it was that way.  
  
"Good morning," he whispered but was discouraged from any real response when her stillness gave him a negative and silent answer.  
  
Her back was turned to him like this when he entered her room on that surprisingly sunny afternoon. Although her face was temporarily invisible to him, he could tell by the motion of her body and the various bags and clothes that were spread across the room that she was packing. Shalimar and Brennan were supposed to leave the next day. In the silence disturbed only by the small bushing from the Feral, Jesse stood there in the doorway as he stared at the damp yellow color of her hair. She would be leaving tomorrow and he would not see her for an unknown amount of time.  
  
He was satisfied that Brennan was not in the room or Emma. Jesse wanted to be alone with Shalimar for a while, to talk to her with only the room's decorative dead objects and silence as their companions... like they used to be before the team had increased the number of members. They still had their intimate moments but those had become sacredly rare. He did not know whether it was from the enormous amount of time she was spending with Brennan or if something else was changing. Whatever it was, it made him long for the past. They were friends; they were, one could say, best friends. Their friendship was older than the one shared with Emma and Brennan and that was something special, both to Shalimar and Jesse.  
  
They were siblings; their bond was that of the kind shared between two people birthed by the same mother. Everyone who had gotten to spend longer time with them had come up with the same conclusion; everyone except for Kathy, a teenage Telekinetic who had been hiding at Sanctuary for a small period of time. She and Jesse had been sitting on the table one afternoon, just starting their lunch as they had arrived later when everyone else had finished and left when she asked: "Are you two going out?" A puzzled look from the Molecular was received to this unexpected question and a quick dismissal but not before a demand for a reason appeared. Her only explanation had been of a young pair she had known for a while whose closeness had resembled Shalimar and Jesse's, although she did not specify whether the couple had been romantically involved or not.  
  
Going out... they had never considered anything beyond their solid friendship. The reason? They did not feel the need to take such bolder steps. That was the source of the puzzled look.  
  
He was looking at her now, absorbing every inch of her body to help his mind build a concrete image of her on the walls of his insides, a picture fashioned with such perfection that it could never leave his memory, not even if he were to desperately wish for such absence. He smiled tamely once more. Jesse knew he could never wish for such meaningless deficiency from his memory. It was simply impossible.  
  
He then took a few steps forward. "Pretty busy, eh?" he asked almost nervously.  
  
Shalimar smiled while her back was still facing him. "Yeah."  
  
"Need help?"  
  
She turned to him, eyeing him up carefully. "No, I'm fine," and nodded.  
  
"Ok." he sighed and shoved his hands in the insides of his pockets. "I still can't believe we're going to separate like this..." It could have been interpreted as an attempt for some sort of a conversation but these two could feel the bottomless meaning behind every word, following them like tiny ants.  
  
"Me neither. Do you need help?" he asked as if the first attempt for assistance hadn't been made.  
  
"No, Jesse... again. I'm almost done," Shalimar assured him with a smile.  
  
He kept quiet for a while, considering whether to bring the subject into the light or not. "So you've definitely decided to go with Brennan?"  
  
Shalimar nodded and continued folding the red blouse that she was holding.  
  
"You're sure?"  
  
Slowing down her movements, the Feral sent him a baffled gaze that was quickly wiped away by a quiet chuckle. "Yes. What, you're worried?"  
  
He was. The knowledge that she would be so far away had taken a hold on his heart, squeezing it gently but still achingly whenever a thought about it would frequently occur. "No... it's just... It'll be weird not having you around."  
  
She placed the blouse inside the black bag on the bed. "It won't be forever." Finally she turned towards Jesse and approached him. Shalimar understood his worry. It was growing difficult for her to slash any contact with him for such a painfully longer time.  
  
His lips pressed tightly against each other until the pale color of red was temporarily squeezed out by a baize nuance. He saw the unrelenting grains of agony behind her pupils because of this decision and he felt with her; Jesse felt with her like she felt with him. It had been a mutual agony and a mutual, desperate attempt to find another more satisfying solution. He would ask her. Maybe there could be hope... "You can come with me."  
  
This forced her eyes to begin with a hurried search for a visible reason behind his question. If it had been another situation, Shalimar would have brushed that suggestion off as a joke. Jesse must have known that. Now however, everything was different. The lingering side-effects of the earlier tragedy had pitilessly ripped away any possibility for a cheerful atmosphere or even a moment. It was influencing their minds and tampering with their sensitive areas that housed the emotions of pleasure and pain. There have been a number of times when the belongings of those emotions would be confused and switched with such deviousness that the result was a tiring blow to the owners' psyche.  
  
Shalimar had been sitting down two days before, smiling weakly at the warmness and brightness of the day, even tempting the situation for a joke when a sudden shift inside her had rapidly increased her breathing, pushing forward the tears and sending irritating shivers like cold liquid through her body. The rare moment of pleasure was mercilessly subdued under a primitive loss of control and seemingly endless sobbing. Each sound wave probed deeper through the corridors of her companion, raising the level or concern. Jesse had witnessed that moment; it had only been him who was sitting on the bench with her. Like a scared kitten, she pushed franticly next to her, almost digging into Jesse for a safe spot to hide away. He embraced her protectively, letting the endless tears from her eyes water the woolen fabric of his sweater and giving him the challenge of easing her shivering. It had been a strange and dire evening.  
  
She shook her head with an accompanying verbal response: "I can't."  
  
This was wrong. "Please?" he took a step further with his word.  
  
"No." She wanted to put a coating of harshness over her response but it did not work.  
  
"Are you sure it's a good idea to go with Brennan?" he then asked her.  
  
She cocked her head back in surprise. "Why wouldn't it be?"  
  
He shut down the rest of his sentences. Whatever he might have said next would have unjustifiably sound as an accusation and unneeded domineering... something which Shalimar did not prefer. He lowered his head in the sand of shame instead.  
  
Jesse lost himself for a moment in a pallid fog of nothingness until his cheeks felt the warmth of her palms. The skin on those palms had lesser smoothness that he'd remembered. Slowly she lifted his head up until their stares were aligned. Jesse then knew she understood. She had to.  
  
It was only for a moment that their eyes were locked together before Shalimar stepped up to embrace her friend. "I worry more about you than you do about me..." she sighed with a false smile. "You should know by now, right? So, I should be the one, pacing around and biting my nails like a lunatic, wondering if you're ok or not."  
  
He could sense the forced feeling of comfort in her words and the constant brushing of her fingers against the back of his neck. Perhaps she wanted to hungrily savor everything about him with an unnoticeable effort. Her embrace tightened. This must have been more difficult for her than it had been for him. But that was not a plausible thought. At least she would not be alone. There was no need for this.  
  
His hands hurried to capture her in a tighter embrace.  
  
Her irregular breathing signaled the struggle for words to be expressed. Jesse shut his eyes tightly. She was his best friend. He'd never been apart from his best friend for a hideously long time before. How was it going to affect him? Better than expected? Or worse?  
  
She would miss him but would it be more than him? "Please," he started, "can't you come?" the begging in his words was clinging with its last strength to the edge of calm normality before falling into a least expected desperation.  
  
"No..." something had begun swimming in her throat. Her words were no longer as clear. I want to but..." she took in a deep breath to try and force down the gooey mass that fuzzed her words. It did not work. "I want to... but I think Brennan needs me more."  
  
That was a lie and both of them knew it without the conscious realization. The earlier tragedy had made bottomless marks on them, messing up their sensitivity levels. But Jesse was more sensitive than Brennan... his need for Shalimar's company was greater than that of the Elemental's. He sighed. He would not pressure her. They were in love, he had told himself, and people in love should not be separated like that and not in such depressing times.  
  
He loved her, too. Perhaps not in a blinding and romantic way but he did love her. This was why he chose not to speak any further but simply enjoy the lovingly warm embrace of his friend. He would not experience this for an uncertain time and he wanted to absorb as much of it as he could. Unfortunately that warmth and the strangely mild air started to sting his eyes, forcing them to protect themselves with tears.  
  
"I'm gonna miss my best friend..." she whispered, trying dreadfully to fight back her own tears that could affect the sound of her words even more.  
  
His arm rested securely over her upper body as she lay with her blonde locks strewn lifelessly on the pillow that let Jesse's blue eyes drown willingly in that sun-painted color. He pressed his lips once more. That was a year ago. She was here now but she felt like she was slowly slipping away somehow. He kissed her shoulder, wishing the rough fabric of her robe did not separate his lips from her bare skin. He wishfully begged that she would heal soon. He did not dare to think of her complete detachment from him and from life.  
  
"My best friend..." he whispered and closed his eyes. The smell that emerged from her hair had rushed through him like electricity, prompting him to remain a little longer by her side.  
  
********* 


	19. chapter 19

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters from 'Mutant X'. They're not my property. They belong to Tribune Entertainment.  
  
***  
  
*********  
  
The tranquility of the moment was rudely interrupted when Brennan and Emma stormed into the room. There was panic in the Psionic's eyes as she collapsed in front of the bed. "Check her wound!"  
  
"Wh-...?" Jesse didn't get to ask when Emma interrupted him.  
  
"Check the wound on her waist!" she ordered.  
  
"Um, Sha-..."  
  
"She can't hear you. Open the robe," Emma said with a following look dipped into further confusion from the Molecular. "Jesse!"  
  
Jesse glanced at the sleeping Feral and barely saw any visible motion from her. He loosened the belt of the clothing and slowly uncovered the place where the bandages were placed. The sight appeared worse than expected: the white color of the protective layers had absorbed a greenish/red that had managed to quickly devour the original color, giving indication that the bandage was of little use now. At the ends of the tapes that were supposed to keep the protective layers securely over the wound, were crooked lines with a disturbing red and green color, reminding of the body's veins with only their misplacement and odd coloring appearing.  
  
"Oh, no, what happened..." Brennan watched the seemingly disturbing infection of Shalimar's wound.  
  
Sending itching shivers towards the beginning of his spine, the infection widened the space restricted previously by his eyelids. "Shal, Shal wake up!" he began tapping Shalimar's cheek gently.  
  
"She can't hear you, Jesse," Emma said while observing the site on the Feral's body.  
  
"Yes, she can. Come on, Shal!" He insisted.  
  
"I'm gonna bring replacements," Brennan said and rushed to the bathroom.  
  
Emma had wanted to mention the uselessness of that action but it would have registered little with him. Her lips moved nervously with silence as the fading liveliness which she was receiving with such clarity was dragging itself towards the bottom of her brain before continuing further down, opting to penetrate the opening from the rest of her body.  
  
While Jesse had continued with his attempts to awaken Shalimar, Emma's heartbeats began to increase with much speed; the abstraction of the images in front her were disturbing her, twisting her senses.  
  
She dropped before the first grains of the sand. "Give me your hand!" she said and stretched out her arm. Shalimar's face turned towards her and she finally uncovered her eyes. There was fear spilling over them. Beneath that eerily calmness were the small pieces of justified panic, swimming insanely but not strong enough to break through the concrete surface above them. "Shal..." Emma's voice was low but firm. She did not dare to approach the sand, it would swallow her instantly; the intuition was screaming with such warning and Emma listened to it.  
  
Shalimar's lips parted, ready to form an answer; that response however immediately drained away any color from those lips, leaving only the ghostly layer of white. "Emma... please..." the normal tone of her voice transformed itself to a shaking whisper, "Don't leave me..." and already colored rigorously with internal tears.  
  
"I won't. Give me your hand," Emma struggled to sustain outwardly calmness and prayed those struggles wouldn't abandon her for now.  
  
The barely visible signs of fear were swiftly sucked out by a foreign source, leaving nothing but emptiness in the Feral's eyes. "I can't," she responded.  
  
"Shal, your hand. I can save you!"  
  
"I know, sweetie... but not this time... there really is..." she shrugged tiredly, "nothing you can do."  
  
Emma narrowed her eyes. "That's ridiculous!"  
  
"No, it's not."  
  
"What's happening to you??" Emma shouted, while the muscles in her arm were achingly demanding for a rest. She brought the arm closer to her knees.  
  
"I can't fight it anymore. I-I'm too tired... I need sleep."  
  
"Fight what?"  
  
"Brennan's dreams... I can't defend myself any longer; they're hurting me too much."  
  
"His nightmares?"  
  
Shalimar closed her eyes briefly and nodded while pressing her lips tightly, perhaps hoping to add some color to them, even if that meant blood.  
  
"How...?" Emma asked faintly.  
  
"Their screams, the constant torture..." slowly Shalimar raised her hand to the collar of her crème-colored gown to pull it shortly down and reveal three thin, horizontal, purple lines. Some sort of bruises, apparently. "They... won't leave me alone and It's making me tired... it's hurting me."  
  
The sight of the disturbing coloring of Shalimar's neck nearly accomplished the task of captivating Emma when the more frightful reality threw her back immediately. "It will stop... give me your hand, please." Emma stretched out her arm.  
  
"I can't."  
  
"Shalimar! Give me your hand!" There was no patience left inside the Psionic anymore, her last response snatched it away.  
  
"You can't save me, Emma... just, please, stay with me," she pleaded with a quiet cry.  
  
Emma quickly fought for more energy from the brain cells when an unexpected sonic wave ran through her brain like a thin knife and ruthlessly shoved her back, snatching the balance from her body, forcing her to immediately meet the floor with her back.  
  
Quickly she managed to lift her upper body on the small support provided by her arms. A thin, silky, grayish curtain had fallen before her, trapping her eyes behind it with only the faint images of her friends. Her head began throbbing weakly, causing instant flashes before the pain slowly faded, pulling the curtain along with it. When her view was once again clear, she was slowly lifted from the ground by Brennan's hand on her elbow. There was puzzlement about the source of that unexpected impact... it hadn't been a result from her witnessing of Shalimar's emotional state. it had been something else.  
  
"Shal," she then remembered with her hand placed on her head.  
  
By the time her eyes focused on the blonde mutant, Brennan had already began applying the replacement for the old bandages.  
  
Jesse touched Shalimar's cheek with his fingers which scraped more of the strange white residue. "This can't be good," he said while examining the substance.  
  
"What is it?" Brennan asked without looking at him. His entire focus was on the wound in front of him. For a moment he gasped. The delicate piece of flesh had helplessly subdued to the psychedelically attending coloring of some unknown infection with the thin streaks stretching out to her thigh. How did such an infection occur? Was Shalimar not careful enough? Something was not right. Although the odd coloring and the almost swollen effect of the wound and surrounding tissue might have given the signs of some sort of infection, it failed to present that simple answer. Brennan grunt with his teeth. He should have paid closer attention to Adam's lessons concerning such medical matters.  
  
He glanced briefly over at Emma. She was much more experienced and with at least, a much bigger knowledge about such treatments but she appeared completely absent as she stared sadly at Shalimar. "Emma?" he called her. Brennan needed her opinion.  
  
Her expression however and her sudden "interest" did not change. There was no blinking and her mouth was forming some silent, presumably incoherent, words. The image, the change in her eyes was unreadable and under the heavy tension of the moment it gave no opportunity for even a brief acknowledgement for the reason.  
  
"Emma!" he called her again.  
  
"Not now, Brennan!" she shouted at him with words wrapped in hysterical bubbles.  
  
The response threw, both the Elemental and Molecular, temporarily off course as that did not register on their expectancy list. He did not ask for her further. Instead, Brennan returned his entire attention to Shalimar. He did not even ask about the residue on Jesse's fingers.  
  
With bare feet she saw her friend walk calmly over to a larger pond filled with sand. Stepping inside it, Shalimar walked to the centre of the pond and closed her eyes. With parted lips, she gathered her last breath and pressed her arms tightly against her chest. Soon she began to slowly sink into the thick mass, leaving Emma without any other choice but to remain a miserable spectator of this endless departure. She tried to send some energy, to give out a hand... any kind of assistance but was mercilessly denied that opportunity. What had sent a sudden wave of larger disturbance inside the Psionic had been Shalimar's calmness and willingness for this. Her friend was leaving... her energy was fading slowly, the last sparks struggling to remain alive as to not indicate any confirmation of the fears of those surrounding Shalimar.  
  
Jesse noticed the scarred tissue on Brennan's hands. "What happened to those?" he asked.  
  
Brennan threw a quick glance at Jesse. "Caleb," he said. The pain had diminished and the majority of the burned flesh had somehow managed to replace itself with a new, healthier substitute. Whatever Emma had placed in that remedy of hers, it lived up to her expectations. It had worked.  
  
The men's attention was quickly thrown over at the panting body of Emma as she met the floor once more. This time, Jesse reached out to her. Assisting in the recovery of her balance, he saw her hands quickly placing themselves on her head, pressing tightly against it. "Not now. Not now!" she hissed while her eyes wanted to search for answers in the darkness. The headache had struck once more. Emma was convinced she could help Shalimar, despite the opposite reality that was waving itself stubbornly in front of the Psionic's face, mocking her for the naïve belief in an actual salvation of her friend. The pain which swooped like a hurricane inside her head disconnected Emma from Shalimar just as it had done the first time.  
  
Bad timing indeed.  
  
"Are you alright?" Jesse asked her with worry.  
  
Emma shook her head and with his aid slowly stood up while using his body as a leaning post for her own. When she opened her eyes, having to be met with the physical body of Shalimar, she gripped Jesse's arm. "She's dying," was her response. 


	20. chapter 20

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters from 'Mutant X'. They're not my property. They belong to Tribune Entertainment.  
  
***  
  
"Emma..." Jesse looked at her more carefully.  
  
She turned to him. "Shalimar. She's, she's dying."  
  
"How?"  
  
"She won't reach out to me... she is scared but she doesn't want me to save her."  
  
Her words sunk inside him like heavy rocks. Emma would not give out misinformation like this. But he hoped she was. He hoped she had misjudged her abilities and noticed something different in Shalimar rather than the dreadful plunge towards death.  
  
"I..." Emma did not receive the chance to say more when Jesse abandoned her hurriedly to reach Shalimar. As he sat next to the blonde mutant's body, Emma lowered herself to the floor until she sat securely on her bent legs. Shalimar was slipping away and she was helpless... this wasn't right. I shouldn't be like this. She should be able to help. A stronger blow to the inner walls of her brain temporarily removed the concentration attached to those thoughts. Trying to tolerate the following, loud throbbing of her head, Emma pressed her hands against it with such might that she must have wished to crush her skull in that instant. The pain left her temporarily impaired with her hearing and for a moment completely isolated from her surroundings. "Stop it!" She screamed with her entire might at the inside walls of her body and mind.  
  
The pain disappeared soon after, like a storm - quick and short but violent and horrific. Emma would murder him now. She would rip out Caleb's guts out with her mind if she were capable of such doing.  
  
"What the hell do you mean 'she's dying'?" Brennan approached the Psionic with a look abandoned by everything except anger.  
  
The reoccurring headache had left her slightly disoriented when she was intercepted by Brennan's attitude. She stared at him with lost eyes for a moment, trying to correctly interpret his question. A bitter taste in her mouth prevented her from providing an immediate answer. It would serve no purpose for Emma to conjure up a lie. "She's tired, she can't fight anymore... she..." her voice faded as she gathered her hands tightly against her chest. "She wants to sleep."  
  
"What's that supposed to mean?"  
  
"I don't know."  
  
"You were in her brain! What do you mean, you don't know?!" The erratic behavior grew. It signaled nothing positive.  
  
"I have my limitations," she spoke patiently.  
  
"Well, get past them! It's not about you! It's about her!"  
  
"Stop it..."  
  
"I won't! Why can't you do more??"  
  
Despite her state, Brennan's reaction disabled her calming mechanism. He was usually calmer than this. "You tell me!" she sprung up, returning his darting gaze with her own flaming one. "She's dying, alright?! Is that what you want to hear?! She's dying, Brennan!"  
  
But the flaming arrows soon fell deeply into the cool ocean of her eyes as her face fell victim to the scrupulous bearing and slow exposure of feelings she feared to have branded against her heart. Taking Shalimar's body with her gaze, Emma rushed to her side and fell on her knees. "Don't do this," her voice pleaded with the struggling coolness. She grabbed her hand, squeezing it until the warning of blood under her skin appeared. "Shal, no... no, no, no, no... stay, don't..." she could take a physical hold on Shalimar's hand but she had failed to attain the emotional one.  
  
"What is it?" Jesse asked while holding back the disparaging scenario of a darker ending than he had hoped and prayed for.  
  
"Stop being so damn stubborn! Let me help you!" Emma shouted at the motionless, peaceful face of her friend. While the men were seeing a physical, fleshy image of a woman drowning pleasantly in her own slumber, Emma was enduring a colder, shivering image of this woman's psyche drowning almost willingly; allowing herself to be swallowed by the spiky grains of sand into the abyss of no return - cold and shallow death.  
  
The weak throbbing signal made its presence known through the walls of her mind, disconnecting the Psionic's attention which only served as a tool that pilled away the few remaining layers of weak patience. She tried to force herself through the invisible shield that kept her away from the last remaining life signals of the Feral but growing emptiness stubbornly kept her back. Her muscles tensed and her heart raced with such speed that it could burst from the enormous pressure of the moment.  
  
And then there was silence... cold, moist, unearthly silence.  
  
The sudden abandonment of the colorful elements which shaped Shalimar's mind and the arrival of the shallow and silent emptiness wrapped a frosty blanket around Emma as she stiffened with a horrid, emotionally destroying gaze.  
  
This was a dream; an ill-planned game between the concrete walls of reality and the fluffy, gentle drapes of a person's fantasy. It could not be real. It was impossible to be real.  
  
The constant calling from her friends was received as a distant and faint echoing. Everything stopped, nothing dared to move. Even her heart had eased with its beats as not to place an even bigger sense of abnormality to this confusing but painfully familiar, frozen moment in time.  
  
The shaking of her left shoulder by a warm hand with a strong grip managed to mechanically switch her eyes away from Shalimar and toward the person standing next to her. But she had trouble recognizing his face. The lines were confusing, the voice - foreign. Emma returned her eyes on the blonde mutant. "I..." the voiced letter threatened to choke her as it began sliding towards her throat. She struggled to push it away with the tiny currents of air she had managed to control.  
  
When she succeeded, Emma took a barely settling breath and said: "She left..." with the last word holding onto her, begging not to be released but with a heavy heart, she had to let it out.  
  
*********  
  
The wall felt cold against his back. The raising of the tiny fibers, signaling short goose bumps were an indication of how his skin was taking the release of imaginary heat replaced by real cold. The thick clothing weren't enough to isolate those feelings... not that he had been bothered to notice. It had been the broken pieces of furniture, a couple of framed pictures, two vases, scattered flowers, remains of glass that had the loose focus of his eyes.  
  
Anger could be such a terrible thing; Denial - even worse; the stubborn refusal of acceptance, blocked entry to the insistent and sharp pieces of inescapable reality; the truth, the unmasking of its unwanted glare. The vase crashed violently against the wall, leaving a colorless wet mark behind as the pieces of dry clay fell on the floor. The objects around him could not provide him with an answer and he felt angered because of it; it fueled the growing flame of intolerance inside him, burning the blooded, inner walls of his body. Perhaps everyone wishes those dead pieces of processed material could give a verbal or any kind of a reassuring answer, one that could, temporarily at least, smoothen the edges of an irritated, enraged mind.  
  
He looked at the fingers of his left hand. He could still see the traces of tears on them, almost embedded into the rough texture of his skin. Were they going to remain there? Can't they disappear? Tears always did that... there shouldn't be an exception now.  
  
What happened to him when he heard Emma's response? It was vague, such a vague moment. He thought she had been lying. He'd hallucinated that she had deliberately said those words to get back at him for the way he had treated her that night. But it would have been too harsh from her side to dive into such tasteless deviousness.  
  
The wetness covering the deep brown of his eyes was beginning to thicken. It could temporarily blind him if it continues like that.  
  
He had reached over to feel her heart... it was numb. His fingers touched the skin of her neck. it was calm and lifeless. Her aura had disappeared; the glowing light around her fainted instantly, leaving nothing but a piece of dead flesh and bone.  
  
His eyes traveled over to the window. It had stains, red stains. What was their origin, he could not remember. It was dark outside. Night had already fallen. The sun had already left them without warning. Or maybe it had given them some signs but the gray fuzziness of the last seven hours had been ignored by the grieving mist of earlier.  
  
Brennan closed his eyes. For a moment perhaps, he could feel lifeless and numb like her body... he could escape and be nothing but a memory... for a moment perhaps.  
  
********* 


	21. chapter 21

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters from 'Mutant X'. They're not my property. They belong to Tribune Entertainment.  
  
***  
  
*********  
  
He was holding her hand between his. If felt cold now; the physical warmth had abandoned her skin. Naively, he rubbed her hand, hoping to revive it like in some cheesy old movie where everything turns out to be well at end and she would wake up as if from a dream. Remaining there, the coldness did not discourage Jesse to release her hand. He held onto it as if his life was somehow dependent on that one part of her body.  
  
When he saw Adam's body in the desert, everything around him had collapsed around with only two, weak, trembling pieces that barely stood alone. He did not think anything could be worse than that; he did not believe or even wanted to try and believe that something worse could happen, something that would shove its hand callously inside his chest, burning his skin and poisoning his blood; it would reach his heart, grab it and crush it to pieces, leaving Jesse with the painful struggle to retrieve the feeling of air and remain conscious. His tears would burn inside him until, without any control, he would release them... those few spare tears which he thought never existed after his mentor's death.  
  
Two hours before, he had stormed into the living room to find Brennan and Emma. Jesse was angry at Emma for her sluggish attempt to bring back Shalimar, even though he could not escape the reality that it hadn't been the Psionic's fault; he was even more furious at Brennan for abandoning Shalimar when she could have used his help greatly. That anger found a way to escape through violence as Jesse attacked the Elemental. "It's all your fault!" he'd shouted at him. "If you were here she would be alive! You bastard!"  
  
But before the first fist could come in contact with the skin, both mutants felt a heavy stone suddenly emerge in their heads, forcing them to touch the ground in aching. "This is not the time!" he heard Emma shout as the pain was slowly subduing. Jesse could see the pale color of aching brushed against her blue eyes, draining even further, the poorly rich color they used to have.  
  
But how could anyone feel worse than him? How could Emma or Brennan feel the slow and tedious decay of the walls around his crushed heart and the even slower infection of the outer walls of his soul, those stronger ones? He must've been unique in this. The dying pieces of his heart, though with weak breath, continued to foolishly whisper to him that all was not yet lost... that she would return; that she could still be alive. But those whispers only burned, causing more aching to him, deepening the anger and frustration.  
  
He kept holding on to her, looking at her like a sad puppy laying at his owner's side, wishing desperately for some miracle to appear. But what kind of a miracle would fulfill his wish? None. It was empty. Everything was so empty.  
  
The grief, the poor exhibition of strength - everything was draining the weakening energy from him. He felt tired. He did not wish to fall asleep; he felt that to be disrespectful towards Shalimar, his thin connection to the endangered soul. However, his body failed to obey him and even bigger was the refusal that emerged from his stone-heavy eyelids. He could not fight it any longer; he had to give into it. Quickly his eyes closed with the eerily peaceful image of his friend as the last memory of the awoken state.  
  
*********  
  
She was helpless and angry at herself. Her powers did not work; everything about her dropped into temporarily stillness. Her anger was not directed only at herself, it was not selfish; it found a way to spear itself towards Shalimar. "Why didn't you let me help you..." she whispered faintly to herself. "You had to be so stubborn. Why do you always have to be so stubborn?" Emma nearly raised her inner voice to a more violent level when she realized that it only fueled her irritation and growing tiredness.  
  
Her eyes looked ahead. Everything appeared so dark; the entire room had been swallowed by the thick, sharp jaws of darkness. Perhaps there would have been at least a tiny spark of light, had it not been for Brennan's earlier rage. Her eyes were blind but her mind could see everything as clear as a sunny day. She could see Brennan sitting against the wall without a glance to the outside world; she could see Jesse sleeping next to Shalimar, clenching onto her even in his dreams; all of this brought silence, a deafening and at the same time annoyingly loud silence.  
  
What would this do to her? She had defended the attacks of the constant amount of emotions flowing into her after Adam's death and now another blow, another assault would follow behind with only one difference... the grievance of a third person would be absent.  
  
The sadistic hollowness of the night and the bottomless emptiness fighting to emerge from the deep, broad ocean of her friends' emotions forbid her to stare into the stars of the future. Would she fight this? Unlikely. She did not wish to fight it, for she knew there could be no victory... at least not for her. Emma could only remain in her place and swim in the polluted waters of the cruel reality. That was all she could do....  
  
*********  
  
The dark green eyes watched patiently in front of them. "Blood pressure?"  
  
"Stable," the man in a white uniform replied.  
  
"Her resistance level?"  
  
The man paused.  
  
"Well?" she turned sharply towards him.  
  
"It's rising."  
  
The woman returned her gaze in front of her. She sighed with disagreement. "We'll have to place her in another chamber."  
  
The man turned to her. "Is it wise to separate her from the others?"  
  
"We have no choice. Do it," the woman ordered and after receiving a nod of confirmation she slowly walked out of the small observation area.  
  
With slow steps Felicia made her way through the wide corridor made of nothing else but thick, silver steel from the first small square of the floor to the last one of the ceiling. On each side, thin, cylinder-shaped pillars were the only 'decorations' that separated the lighter ceiling from the darker floor.  
  
A man in a gray uniform stood next to a door with a bulletproof plastic window on its upper side. Stopping in front of the door, Felicia placed her hand on the door's square handle. Pushing it lightly, she opened the door and walked inside the small room which resembled a cell with the only difference being the bright red walls, the dozens of books next to the table and the surprisingly comfortable cotton sheets and pillow on the bed.  
  
Standing in front of the man that sat on the bed, Felicia crossed her arms. "We're relocating her, Adam," she told him.  
  
"Relocating her?" he jumped from the bed with a disturbed look flashing from his eyes. "You can't."  
  
"She's endangering the process."  
  
"She's not even awake yet."  
  
"No, but her resistance levels are rising."  
  
His voice remained absent for a while. "What about the others?"  
  
"They'll stay where they are now."  
  
"So, you're going to separate her from them?" there wasn't much approval in his tone.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"It'll hurt her if you do."  
  
"It'll kill her if I don't."  
  
"You can not relocate her."  
  
"The entire experiment will fail if she wakes up too soon. And if the experiment fails, Adam..." she paused, taking a step closer to him. "You know the consequences of that, don't you," she raised a knowing eyebrow at him with a threatening grin as an accomplice.  
  
Looking at her with a falling level of alertness, Adam sighed in defeat and nodded in response. "Unfortunately..."  
  
"Good," Felicia said with an invisible emotion of satisfaction. 


	22. chapter 22

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters from 'Mutant X'. They're not my property. They belong to Tribune Entertainment.  
  
***  
  
She later rushed to the examination room #45. "What's happening here?' Felicia asked after hearing the alarming sounds emerging from that space.  
  
"The Feral managed to break loose," one of the guards responded.  
  
Walking over to the window, Felicia saw the struggling Feral trapped in tight bondage by two guards; rage was rising from her lips and eyes as they started twitching almost insanely; she panted heavily with her eyes glowing with indistinguishable flames that were aimed specifically at the woman standing at the other side of the glass; the dirtied blond locks hung in front of her face, hiding the full threatening, blazing exposure of Shalimar's gaze.  
  
Felicia watched her with undisturbed calmness. She stepped through the door opening and stopped a meter away from Shalimar. "How did she free herself?"  
  
"I don't know," a small man with thick seeing glasses suddenly walked passed Felicia to reach the black metallic table at the left wall of the room.  
  
"You didn't give her a higher dose, did you?"  
  
"No. I gave her the regular dosage... I-I d-don't know how this could have happened. It's p-possible that the formula had m-m-manipulated her adrenaline levels somehow."  
  
Felicia smirked and approached Shalimar with barely an inch separating their faces as she observed her with rugged grains of curiosity. "How did you break loose?" she asked her.  
  
"You didn't tie the knots tightly enough," Shalimar replied, holding herself back as much as she could from tearing the person in front of her apart.  
  
"Hmm..." Felicia placed her fingers beneath the Feral's chin but Shalimar jerked her head away with a sickened feel. Pulling back, the older blonde with a closely platinum color said: "We'll have to make them tighter then."  
  
"What did you put in me?" with a hazed voice, Shalimar nearly spat out the words. The reddish irritation was mostly caused through the inner corridors of her body that were feeling a rising heat of unfamiliar flames emerging from her cells, triggered by her blood and amplified by the growing beating of her heart.  
  
"Oh, just a little formula of my own to see how it would react with your feline genes." She smiled.  
  
"What kind of *formula*?"  
  
"Rose 34. It is supposed to slightly increase your mental strength... but... I'm not sure if it's supposed to affect your physical one as well."  
  
"So, I'm a lab rat then??" Shalimar's rage rose sharply and she shoved herself forward to attack the older woman but the firm grip of the guards held her unwillingly back.  
  
Felicia shrugged. "Yeah."  
  
"Why me?"  
  
"There's an odd question. Because you're a mutant of course; a freak as everyone else and freaks... well, they're just as good as white mice, only more interesting with even bigger possibilities," Felicia smirked.  
  
Giving another try for an attack, Shalimar was once more yanked backwards by the guards. "*You're* a freak! Not me! This is sick!" she shouted furiously at her.  
  
"My dear god, Shalimar... you should be thankful to me. I saved your life."  
  
"Huh, is that so..." Shalimar shook her head nervously to remove the annoying strains of hair in front of her eyes.  
  
"Yes. Adam almost killed you, I saved you."  
  
"What does Adam have to do with this?"  
  
Watching her, Felicia took a step forward. "What do you think he injected you with in the alley?"  
  
Felicia's words triggered a memory to rush forward, stopping abruptly in front of her eyes, giving her a clearer view. Her pupils widened and her heartbeats increased even further which only fueled the fire inside her. The fire's tongues rose high enough to lick the inner walls of her body and their scorching touch was beginning to become unbearable. Shalimar's words couldn't find the right link and connect themselves into a sentence. "That wasn't him..." she somehow said.  
  
"You saw him, you heard him... you even *smelled* him."  
  
"I was wounded... I..."  
  
"Imagined him?" Felicia finished her sentence. "No, Shalimar. He was there. So, show some appreciation for me, I think that would be a very wise thing to do."  
  
"You're crazy. And it's sick that you have to bring Adam into this!"  
  
"You still do not believe me that he's alive?"  
  
"How can I..." Shalimar's words were cut short when the release of the heat through the drops of sweat was beginning to affect the electrified cells of her brain. The images in front of her were losing their concrete shape and started shifting to the slow current of the salty liquid forming before her eyes. She was losing orientation and the "virus" surged down, cutting off the balance she had managed with her legs. The feeling of exhaustion devoured her immediately, disconnecting her from the waking consciousness.  
  
"Strap her back!" Felicia ordered when Shalimar fell in the mercy of the guard's arms as they held her tightly enough, separating her from the floor.  
  
Turning to leave, Felicia looked over at the small man. "I'm going for a jog. Alert me when the telempath is prepared," she told him.  
  
*********  
  
"Emma..." a tender, warming voice echoed through the fog of the silent darkness. No response was received. It echoed once more.  
  
The sound brushed gently against her hearing senses, whispering to the brain to pull her away from her slumber and bring her to wakefulness. The brain obeyed and soon the eyelids, removing the heavy burden of fatigue, slowly opened and the uncovering of the picture before her, injected the final drop of awareness.  
  
The deeply stirred brown color covered her view as the black pupils dwelled lightly into her; the feeling was short weightlessness. Her face was trapped in the fleshy frame by his hands as his fingers brushed the edges of her chin and cheeks. She sighed. "Bren?" a voice barely drifted away from her lips. She moved her body slightly to the right when the muscles on her legs and arms began to ache. Emma closed her eyes in pain; it was minor but it was still pain.  
  
"Are you ok?" his voice was so soft.  
  
Opening her eyes once more, her lips pressed tightly against each other as she nodded. The lips then parted and she sucked in air to regulate the inner workings of her body in some way. When she exhaled, the aching lowered its intensity. Something felt different, however. "Did something happen?" she asked him.  
  
"Yeah," he replied more in a whisper than a voice.  
  
"What?" she asked, almost innocently. Strangely, the earlier weight of emotional baggage that had built a fortress around her mind had disappeared. There was a thin veil of peacefulness around her now... soothing and trimming the earlier spikes of her heavy grieving. That feeling introduced itself painlessly through her skin and traveled without disturbance to every corridor of her body, easing the tiniest particles of physical or emotional suffering. The result was the reoccurrence of weightlessness, the absence of gravity that kindly levitated her body higher, separating it from the cold, harsh surface of the ground beneath her. For a moment, one mellowed, stolen moment, Emma forgot everything from her past and present and gave in to the irresistibleness of the smooth and perhaps welcomed flow of curing distractions.  
  
She couldn't close her eyes, but staring at the willowy softness of Brennan's gaze was a comforting replacement of the colder darkness she would touch if her eyelids covered the blueness which she possessed.  
  
"What happened, Bren?" she asked him.  
  
Lowering his upside-down face closer to hers, he kissed her forehead with the burning heat of his lips leaving a deep imprint on her tender skin. "You did it, Em... Shalimar's ok."  
  
The space around her eyes widened drastically by his news but she could not move; her body had already surrendered to the yielding spell of the mysterious healing. "H-how?"  
  
"You saved her. You didn't let her go."  
  
"But she... she was gone. I couldn't do anything. I tried but..."  
  
"No, Em... you returned later and you tried again. You pulled her out of that hellhole. She's ok now."  
  
"She's alive?" Emma asked faintly and saw him nod. "I don't remember any of this," she whispered to him.  
  
"It doesn't surprise me. You had this hideous headache afterwards and you started complaining that your legs and arms hurt... how do you feel now?"  
  
"I feel... wonderful," she spoke honestly. Emma failed to detect any kind of aching; everything was clean; everything appeared perfect... almost. "But how can I not remember anything?"  
  
"I don't know, Em. I wish I understood how that mind of yours works. After you revived her and those spasms started, you fainted. You've been asleep for..." he glanced at the clock on the wall, "four hours."  
  
"Wow... uh..." she tried to lift her body but it refused her order once more and this time she felt worried. "Could you help me up?" she had to ask for help.  
  
"Sure," he said and slid his arms beneath her back and hips. Lifting her up, Brennan slowly carried her to the other side of the room and placed her carefully down on the couch.  
  
"Actually, I just wanted to stand up," she told him.  
  
He chuckled to her request. "After what you've been through, you need to stay like this a while longer," he said.  
  
She watched him with the sincerity of his thoughts seeping into her mind and wrapping itself around the hallways assuring her of the absence of any falseness and possible abnormality. Brennan was somehow right... her body pleaded to remain in this position a while longer, stating that it did not feel ready to put its weight on her legs just yet. Without much resistance, Emma listened to this and loosened her muscles even further. "Where's Jesse?"  
  
"Huh, where do you think..."  
  
"Mm... of course," Emma finally smiled with taming borders across her lips. "It's good that you are here..." she lifted her hand and touched the left side of his neck with her fingers with such carefulness as if it were made of tender glass ready to be broken at any moment.  
  
The fingers on her left hand brushed tenderly across the soft cushions of the surface.  
  
The three people that had been observing this felt satisfied. "The transition went smoothly," one of the men by the controls said. The monitor in front of him showed the current travel of three lines, with each representing a different state of the subject's level in her mind and right now there were no deformations.  
  
"Excellent." Felicia smiled, feeling more pleased with herself that her previous idea of the transfer had been a wise and successful one. "Great work, guys." She tapped the men on the back and leaned forward for a clearer view of the sleeping Psionic.  
  
********* 


	23. chapter 23

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters from 'Mutant X'. They're not my property. They belong to Tribune Entertainment.  
  
***  
  
*********  
  
Rising from the bed, Jesse's body cried to be placed back on the soft surface again. His will, however, forced him to turn on the side and placing his hand near his elbow, he slowly rose up once more, blinking hard, trying to bring some concrete shaping to his surroundings; it appeared like the scene before him had been covered by a white water color. He touched his neck and rubbed his hand against the back. Shaking his head, Jesse lowered his hand to the stomach that gave out the strange feeling of emptiness as if everything from it had been drained out. Did he throw up? No answer was present for that but he could easily identify his state with that of manure. Giving himself a light push, he was now sitting up on a hospital bed. The watery mask in front of him faded away to reveal a room entirely covered in white; the walls resembled those of a mental institution - cells where only the most serious cases were placed.  
  
Spinning his head from one side to another, Jesse found another bed at the other side of the room on which Brennan lay. The Elemental wore white hospital clothing: shirt and pants characteristic for such patients. There was nothing else in the room apart from the two beds and their occupants. Jesse looked down at himself and saw the same white 'uniform', and on his wrists were bright red marks caused perhaps by some metallic restrains.  
  
"Where am I..." he wondered and with his bare feet touched the cold metal floor. Silence - that was all which he could hear with only the tiny clashes of his feet with the floor. Glancing to his left, a white metal door without a handle appeared as the only connection the outside. He did not want to shout out and demand answers just yet although his mind was beginning to itch from the uncomfortable silence and stillness that surrounded them. They had been locked from the outside... how obvious.  
  
Quickly, he rushed over to Brennan. "Brennan!" he started shaking his arm. "Wake up!" There was no response from the Elemental which helped little to lower the alarming levels that were rising in Jesse's head. He brought on more tremors to his friend with higher hopes of a definite response this time.  
  
Brennan's eyes opened to stare at the ceiling almost blankly and then followed an invisible pattern towards Jesse's. "Hey, Jesse..." he brought his hands to his eyes and pressed them against the protective eyelids. "What's up?" his voice was rough.  
  
"We gotta get out of here," the Molecular responded.  
  
"What?" Brennan's hands removed themselves from his eyes as he looked back at Jesse with justified puzzlement. It didn't take long for the bright witness of the room to flash into his eyes almost blinding the sensors that allowed him to see. "Shit, why is it so damn white in here?" he then asked and gripped the ends of the bed to allow himself decent leverage.  
  
"We're in some cell," Jesse stepped back while Brennan placed himself upward to gain a better view of the room.  
  
Letting his gaze travel around him, the eerily simplicity of the room struck a disturbing cord in his brain but the empty feeling of his stomach allowed a temporarily strong distraction. Taking in a deep breath, Brennan left his head hang for a while and his eyelids to shield him from the intensity of color in front of him.  
  
"Feel like you've been throwing up, eh?" Jesse asked.  
  
Brennan nodded. Opening his eyes, he lifted his head and asked: "Any idea where exactly are we?"  
  
"No," Jesse sighed and turned around to hunt for more hints of the identity of this confiding space.  
  
"Great," in a beat voice Brennan's response was abandoned by vigor. Bringing himself to stand on his two feet again, he ran his hand through his hair only to notice the same red markings on his wrists. "If this is GSA's oil again I'm going to murder myself," he spoke with little space of humor and dropped his arm to hang alongside his body.  
  
"I know. You'd think they'd give us a break already," Jesse said.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
The door soon opened and the small man with glasses, accompanied with two guards entered the room. "Good morning, gentlemen," he said.  
  
"Should I ask?" Jesse formed his hands into fists.  
  
"If you w-wish."  
  
"So where are we?" Brennan asked.  
  
"On a s-secret location o-outside of Arizona," the man told them.  
  
"GSA?"  
  
"No!" the man shook his head in disgust. "We don't w-work with those p-p- psychotic p-people."  
  
Jesse and Brennan looked at each other in bewilderment. "Who are you then?" Jesse put the question.  
  
"It's of n-no concern of yours."  
  
"I think," Brennan stepped closer, brining his hands together. "It *is* our..." His eyes crossed at the weak appearance of a short and lonely spark. There was nothing else. His hands were bare; his body felt no presence of any surges of electricity. "What the-..."  
  
"Your m-mutations have been t-t-temporarily disabled. I-It was the s-safest option to choose."  
  
Jesse's attempt also failed miserably. "What did you do to us?"  
  
"You're s-subjects of an experiment b-but no to worry. You two s-s-should feel relieved that you're not in the T-telempath and Feral's p-places."  
  
"Where the hell are they? What are you doing to them??" Brennan's anger rushed through his body to resurface on the primal layers of his skin after hearing this.  
  
"In different a-areas but it's better that you're kept in the dark," the man told them and before the two mutants could respond they were struck by two microscopic darts fired by the guards, removing their sense of consciousness immediately.  
  
*********  
  
The cell phone shook alarmingly on the wooden desk. Grabbing it quickly, Felicia placed it next to her ear. "Yes?"  
  
"The Elemental and Molecular h-have been put t-t-to sleep."  
  
"Good," she responded absently and placed the phone back on the desk. An annoyed sigh hung between her lips before escaping in the air. "I should have left those idiots back there. They're useless."  
  
Returning her hands on the black keyboard she continued typing the report.  
  
----  
  
Experiment Brain Maze  
  
Day 54  
  
The Telempath has been placed in a separate chamber, and as predicted the transfer was successful. It is expected for the final sleep cycle to end in three days, with luck - two.  
  
The two "plus" subjects have been a bother, however. Their constant sedation is undesirably costly. Termination is considered...  
  
-----  
  
Saving the information, Felicia turned off the computer and leaned back on her chair. She started running through her memory banks to check that every operation done so far has met her required needs or standards.  
  
Is it nasty to play with someone's mind as if it were a toy? A very delicate, complicated toy? Hardly, she argued. Not when it came to someone who was not human, someone who had had their genes polluted with those of something alien, something not meant to exist in the human body... at least, not in reality.  
  
They are strangers, outsiders, beings that do not belong in a society populated by human beings, so it is quite normal to treat them as "experiments", objects of trial before daring to elope in a serious testing that could possibly involve humans. Their appearances are quite deceitful; the present four had certainly shown that. Who would imagine that the innocent blond boy could change the mass of his body like that, in such an unnatural way? Felicia sighed, no one. And that little redhead? To have such an enormous power over another person's mind? Incredibly dangerous.  
  
But possibly, although freaks of nature, their genes, their behavior could be an interesting subject for research; to find components of a cure or even a substance that could resemble venom.  
  
When they stormed into Sanctuary almost three months before, they had no expectations of coming across the entire team of Mutant X. They found the Amphibian... "Caleb? Yes... him...or 'it'." He had captured Adam for them which made the job a lot easier but they could not locate the mutants. They pressured Caleb but he would not tell them and in the end he managed to escape. "Stubborn fool," she said. But luck smiled upon them when they encountered the Elemental and Psionic in that alley, both somewhere far from consciousness. Such perfect opportunity could not be missed so they took them and placed them here.  
  
What followed was a sort of 'mind games' virus inserted in the subject's brains from where they generated images to interact with the brainwaves, and for scenarios obvious to the observers but oblivious to the subjected mutants, to appear; a virus which the creators could control. At some point even the Molecular was included. Felicia smiled. And the Feral? Her feline genes were far too valuable to be placed in the same field of those 'mind games' so instead she was subjected to a different experiment.  
  
Emma and Shalimar were those that mattered to Felicia, the other two were simply 'spare parts' that were barely used.  
  
She glanced at the cell phone which was now quiet. A smirk appeared as she entwined the bony fingers of her hands. It is such a pleasurable wonder to see people with great intellectual capabilities be bought so easily with the sufficient amount of money, very helpful people. The planned duration of the experiment had been two months and 14 days and hopefully not longer.  
  
"Everything's in the name of science... it is only a matter of perspective," Felicia said and bought her joined fingers closer to her lips.  
  
********* 


	24. chapter 24

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters from 'Mutant X'. They're not my property. They belong to Tribune Entertainment.  
  
***  
  
*********  
  
Shalimar awoke to a quiet buzzing sound. Her skin had rescued itself from the flaming tongues of the drug and was now recovering, and healing the scorched wounds and deeper fiery bite marks. The heated wind that flew weakly though her however, was not distinguished and its warm traces forbid the small ounces of sweat to dry from the primal layers of the skin. She gathered in a large amount of air but the intensity of oxygen only fueled the weakened fiery lines which caused her muscles to tense painfully while her eyes shut tightly to try and diminish the burning effect. No more deep breaths, at least not for now.  
  
When she could safely breathe again and her heart returned steadily to its normal pace, Shalimar opened her eyes to locate the source of the annoying buzzing sound. It had been a small green generator only three feet away from where she lay. "Wait 'till I get my hands on you, you creeps!" the voice inside her screamed. Immediately she was intercepted with the sensation that her hands could not move at all. She could not lower her head to see the reason for such restriction but the sensors on her wrists were giving indications of tight and although soft, still incredibly pressuring straps. Those would leave some ugly marks if she managed to free herself again.  
  
The previous attempt of freedom had been floating away from her raw memory and she was only left with the repetitive visual acknowledgement of her 'new home'. The bright pale lights tucked in the narrow vertical pipes above her provided the room with the needed artificial light but not a very welcoming one to the Feral. She could barely describe the composure of the ceiling to herself due to the unhealthy flashing of the light into her eyes, leaving her to only notice the glass walls around her.  
  
Shalimar became aware that she was the only living thing in this room with the generator as the single companion close to her. She had lost count of the days which she wasted here and it worried her even with the attempt to try and uselessly recalculate the months perhaps, let alone the tiny or extremely long days. A few thin drops of saliva streamed down her throat as she closed her eyes and began whispering incoherent sentences to herself. It surely could not be years, although everything seemed slow and timelessly forgotten in this room. The torturous length of time even caused a piece of gratitude inside her towards those moments when her senses would abandon the platforms of consciousness and dive into the deeper water of the unconsciousness.  
  
Luckily, the injection of the drug had been done through spraying to certain areas of her skin, otherwise had it been done with needles, her entire body, or at least the majority of it would give out the impression of a frequent visitor to acupuncture.  
  
Her brain started acquiring the presence of some soft constructions of an unknown area inside it. The itching and silent throbbing injected another unfriendly flow of heat through her. The river halted the repairs of her previously caused wounds and the intensity of the 'water' messed with the sensitivity of her skin and her mind started structuring a thick, hard pressure inside Shalimar. The walls of the pressure kept building up as she struggled physically to fight away the strong effect but it did nothing to help; when the final brick was laid down, the fumes of the quiet torture reached her lips, forcing them to open and for Shalimar to release the pain in a loud, excruciating scream.  
  
The waves of the yell were strong and loud but they could not reach anyone's ears beyond the thick, special walls that have been designed to absorb every sound and release only deafness to the outside.  
  
*********  
  
"I wish it could have been different. All four of you have been the most important people in my life. But it isn't right for the parents to outlive their children, is it. Goodbye." With a heavy heart, Adam pressed the small red button on the miniature laptop. A disk with the size of a coin slid out from the body of the small machine. Adam took the still warm disk and placed it in a plastic case.  
  
The silence thickened mockingly around him from the fist day since he'd been placed permanently in this dreaded cell. Although he'd been provided regularly with nourishment, he had no communication with anyone else apart from the seldom visits from Felicia. How long had he been in here? Three months? The shortness of that indication of time was easily replaced with something longer by his mind. He was thrown in here as punishment. But could he really just stand aside and be an emotionless witness to the torture that these innocent young people have been subjected to? Anyone with at least an ounce of feeling would step away from that robotic cruelty and grab onto an opportunity for reversing.  
  
"You will assist me and by no means will you attempt to do otherwise and interfere with the experiment by damaging it," she had told him when he had awoken in a shallowly dark room so many months before. Threats and blackmailing have been a human trait for many decades and rarely have the trepidation and seriousness wrapped around the consequences failed. They would be used as guinea pigs, worthless or perhaps not, pieces of flesh, blood and genes for experiments, that's what he had been told. His assistance had been required not only because of his scientific genius but because of the emotional connection he had with Emma, Jesse, Shalimar and Brennan.  
  
Adam pressed his eyelids as painfully as he could against his eyes. His heart took out sufficient amount of blood in its own way, away from him to weaken him as a reminder of the heavy decision this man had made such a long time before. They would not be permanently or severely harmed if he'd collaborated - he had been told - and that would assure their survival. However, had he dared to go astray from the agreement and give aid to the mutants, it wouldn't be he who would suffer terribly as a result but them instead. The punishment would go to such length as death, regardless of the experiment's importance. They attacked him bloodlessly but effectively with that and he had to join them despite the burdening side-effects of the choice.  
  
Much changed when the senseless suffering of the Feral reached a deep spot inside him, giving incredibly little tolerance to the experiment. He had the technology as a 'partner' in the experiment and he used it to create some sort of antidote for the poisons drug that ran through Shalimar's blood. He took the window of opportunity to step inside the room when it had been absent from any of the staff on that Monday evening.  
  
Weak light was draped over the Feral's sleeping body when he approached the restraining bed. The emotional bruising from the constant trials of drugs and anti-drugs was shown visibly on the fallen, older, lines on her face. Shalimar always looked older than her years; Adam didn't know whether that had been positive or negative but right now the premature aging painted a tormented, sad image of her. The silence and close understanding of the moment created a wish for the scientist to remain motionless and simply observe the Feral in peace. The alertness, however, did not leave him and the importance of him acting quickly if he did not want to be detected here, occurred. Quickly, he injected the hopeful antidote in her arm. When he was done, Adam brushed his hand against her forehead and hurried back.  
  
There was hope about this; there was surprising hope of a recovery. But then something went wrong. Shalimar started getting worse instead of better. The panicked puzzlement left him little room to calculate the possible errors quickly. He was certain that every ingredient that he placed in the formula was correct and in the right amount; he ran through the formula many times in secret before finally attempting the materialization of the antidote. It was far from clear to him as to why it had happened and instead he was brought down by heavier guilt and in this cell as a permanent prisoner.  
  
The silence thickened with such volume that Adam could not hear any longer. Perhaps his old age was giving a way for the loss of hearing or perhaps it was simply the isolation. Adam did not know which one was the reason nor did he truly care as he lay down on the bed.  
  
The material beneath him was soft but to him the cotton was substituted by irritating needles to which he had somehow gotten used to with time. The walls were enclosed with such a depressing nuance of red that in times when he would temporarily abandon his faithful theoretical, scientific thinking, Adam had wondered if it was possible this to be only paint. He thought about Jesse and Brennan. At least they would be alright in some way. Felicia had little use for them and their termination had been questioned several times but they would be alright, Adam was certain.  
  
What about Emma? She was special to Felicia, he had seen that on the old woman's face. But because she was special, the Psionic had endured the biggest assault of them all... on her mind. The tricks, the illusions, the small spikes of the yellow virus which dug deep inside her brain, her consciousness to explore the roots of her mutations and play with them, exploit them, harassing the young woman without any awareness from her side.  
  
Every event was placed in reality in Emma's eyes. The separation, the deaths. everything appeared concrete and irreplaceable by fantasy. She was emotionally tortured without a known cure and "all in the name of science," as Felicia had put it. The controlling virus had embedded its mark in deep corridors of her brain, leaving the traumas and painful 'memories' as parts of her psyche now.  
  
If she remained alive, would she be able to survive the aftermath on her brain after this? His eyes flew quickly over to the small bottle filled with colorless, sweet liquid and hidden behind the desk. Maybe. She could... but it could not be rid of uncertainty.  
  
Lately, everything felt uncertain. Everything abandoned the solid ground of assurance... everything except one thing. Adam's eyes took in the darkness once more as he sighed almost tearfully. He let them down; each and every one of his beloved children. He had betrayed them. Payback for hidden ignorance or overwhelming protection.  
  
*********  
  
Felicia crossed her arms while her right hip leaned against the doorframe. "She's resting?"  
  
"Yes, her vital signs are all stable," one of the men responded.  
  
"Good. Can you distinguish the source?"  
  
Touching three buttons drawn on the console, it brought up a screen. "It's a man, but..." he touched another button. "I'm getting constant interruptions for a clearer view but it is definitely one of the other two specimens."  
  
"The Molecular and Elemental?"  
  
"Yes." The man touched two more buttons. "Wait... ah, here," he moved away from the screen for Felicia to have a better view.  
  
The woman's face got closer to the screen as she observed the clearing up of the person's image. A newbie smile stretched across her face as a result. "Well, well..." she pressed her lips and returned her upward position. "Maybe he could be of some use to us after all..." and nodded expectantly. 


	25. chapter 25

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters from 'Mutant X'. They're not my property. They belong to Tribune Entertainment.  
  
***  
  
*********  
  
The next thing which had awoken Shalimar was the loud voices and the strange heat that was emitting through the air filled with the sudden waves of hysteria. Her alarm had surged through her body screaming at her to release herself but the restrains did not allow her to do that. "Not fire, not fire!" she kept repeating to herself as she moved her hands and legs as much as she could, applying huge amounts of strength to her action. She closed her eyes, hoping that a moment of absent light would help her increase her chances of bigger pressure to arouse from her body against the restraints when suddenly she felt the loosening of the material above her wrists and ankles. Her eyes opened and she saw the small man with glasses punching a few buttons next to the green generator.  
  
Seeing her alarmed but confused look, he only shook his head and said: "The e-e-experiment is f-finished. There's bin a-an "accident." When the Feral jumped off the bed he continued. "There's a fire, you b-b-better leave. Your friends are in cell no. 14." Before saying anything further he ran out, leaving Shalimar on her own.  
  
She swallowed once and jolted off with only one thing on her mind: to find where her friends where... She would figure out the rest later.  
  
Running through the now deserted hallway, Shalimar could feel the intensive heat much more than before and that made her worry. Her fear of fire did not make it easier but she had to fight that as much as her will would allow and hope not to come in any contact with the destructive element. Her skin did not take the rising changes lightly; instead, the changing temperature assaulted her with its breath landing on the primal layer without mercy and without care.  
  
Taking a left turn, she came across an opened cell door. Stopping abruptly, the person inside the small space threw an even larger alarming arrow of shock through her body. The site of the fallen man did not allow the Feral to remain motionless but instead ushered her hurriedly inside. Falling down on her knees next to him she watched him with fear and shock in her eyes while she tried to speak out words. Her left hand landed fearfully on his warm forehead as the rest of his body was entirely covered in his blood. "Adam?" she winced.  
  
The man's eyes were never covered with his eyelids as he stared sadly back at her. "Don't tell the rest that you saw me..." he fought for air and gasped painfully as a giant sting inflected even bigger agony throughout his body. "Take the bag on the table and get out... I'm sorry, Shal... I've explained everything on the disk... I.... I'm so sorry.."  
  
"How can you be alive... what ha-..?" the surprise the whirlwind of emotions choked her enormously not giving her an opportunity to think more clearly.  
  
"Doesn't matter... they didn't need me anymore and..."  
  
His heart stopped.  
  
"Adam?" Shalimar called to him with a whisper.  
  
His heart did not respond; his eyes did not close; his mouth did not speak.  
  
She received the message. "How... no... Adam??" she tried to bring him back to life but it was useless. The growing flames gave her no further time. She grabbed the black bag and with one last, agonizing look at her mentor and father, she left the cell in search for the others.  
  
It didn't take long; she found the cell and opened the door. Inside Brennan and Jesse were found with a lost look on their faces. Something had tampered with their memories; they could not remember where they were. "Are you two alright?" Shalimar asked her friends.  
  
"Weird but yeah," Jesse nodded and ran after her along with Brennan. "Shal?" the Molecular called to her when he noticed the reddish eyes.  
  
"It's just the heat... let's find Emma and get out of here," she responded.  
  
The three mutants entered a darker room with the Psionic inside a thick glass chamber. She was sleeping silently, undisturbed by the current disorder around her.  
  
They tried to open the chamber but there appeared to be no switch or lock on the glass structure. Feeling frustrated Shalimar scanned the room in a hurry and noticed a smaller room, probably an observatory, distanced two meters from the chamber. "There's probably something in there," she said and hurried to the observatory. Once inside, she searched on the wide console before her and when her eyes met the screen, for a moment she stopped and observed the picture shown on it. A man was sitting on a couch comforting a young woman that lay calmly on in his arm. "Brennan?" Shalimar whispered in surprise and looked up to see the chamber and the two men but the picture did not match the one on the screen. Although puzzling, she did not have the time to find the reason but instead she went back to her search for the mechanism to open the chamber. Three small buttons to the lower left corner of the console registered as the correct solution and after their activation a sound emerged from the room on the other side. The glass box was being elevated by four thin but apparently quite strong bars which emerged from the floor. When the box was lifted high enough, Jesse and Brennan took Emma and along with Shalimar exited the room.  
  
The corridors kept getting warmer as they rushed through them without knowing where the exit was. Luck must have kept an eye on the mutants as a long and quite narrow, blue corridor lead to a black door. Shalimar and Jesse pushed the door open and with Brennan, who was carrying Emma, were met by the blazing and hot sun and desert for miles. They ran away from the flat building, unsure of what the growing flames inside it could ignite. "Someone forgot this," Jesse said, pointing at the lonely, black jeep about 200 meters from the building.  
  
There was no other sign of life around them and no other 'disturbing' sound as the tires of the vehicle screeched and the mutants left the damned place.  
  
********* 


	26. chapter 26

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters from 'Mutant X'. They're not my property. They belong to Tribune Entertainment.  
  
***  
  
*********  
  
The last long, blond lock fell gently to her lower back before Shalimar placed the brush back in its place. Her eyes fell down on her wrists that still bore the traces of the restrains. Painful memories...  
  
Her body kept feeling the side-effects of all the drugs if had been subjected to. Yesterday she had lost her balance and a brief black flash swallowed her when a sudden change of blood pressure occurred. She was alone, thankfully; no one saw her fall like that. Two days before that, a hammering insomnia forbid her to go to bed and she hated it.  
  
She slept alone. Shalimar wished to be alone in her bed for a while which made, perhaps little sense after her torturous ordeal, but the solitude gave her a chance to make clearer decisions and even a choice for them and their usage.  
  
Her hand took the small disk. She tapped her index finger on its surface, contemplating whether to watch its contents again or do otherwise. Nostalgia won over and she walked over to the small screen next to the door of her room. Putting the disk inside the thin slot, she then pressed a yellow button under it and took a deep breath.  
  
Adam's face appeared on the screen with its crystal-clarity. Shalimar did her best to stay numb to the image of her former mentor but the tremors inside her were already announcing their presence. She only hoped those tremors wouldn't be as powerful as last time.  
  
"Hi, Shalimar... Or I'm hoping it'll be you who's seeing this, anyway." The lines on his face announced stress and tiredness, and the eyes... they spoke out too many things to be described. "I'm recording this message because I'm not sure what's going to happen to me now, whether they'll decide to eliminate me or not. And since you're watching this..." he sighed heavily. "You can guess the outcome."  
  
Shalimar's lips pressed tightly against each other. It could be easier this time... it has to be.  
  
"I owe you an explanation as I doubt Felicia has told you the reason all of this has happened to you. After her men broke into Sanctuary - I never found out how they located it at all - and they took me... Brennan and Emma were the first victims of their 'experiment'... they were injected with a virus called Rose 2. It's a controllable virus, which I know is hard to believe but she managed to create one. It's used... it was used to probe into the brain of each of you and after each finding it would feed on that and nest inside the cells, creating a sort of alternate reality for the subjects. The subjects react to the "scenarios" and of course that was monitored here.  
  
Uh, fortunately all of you were in the same scenario so it would be easier to keep track of the reactions. Further tests i.e. scenarios were thought of after this one but they were dismissed because Felicia found out that you wouldn't survive them. The virus started functioning after you discovered my "body" in the desert." He paused and looked down while preparing himself to continue. "By now you know that that person wasn't me. It was one of her guards. She had altered his face and killed him to make the first phase of the experiment, to have a starting point for the virus which occurred after you discovered the body. I couldn't contact you because if I did, you would have died by now... The experiment lasted for two months although your minds had registered everything which has happened to you after the fire in Sanctuary, as one year. I had to assist her as part of her blackmailing, again and I wish I had done this sooner and simply ended my life instead of dragging all of you through this torture. I'm sorry, Shalimar."  
  
Another pause followed, giving Shalimar a chance to hear the cuts in her own breathing cycle as she continued to watch.  
  
"In the fourth week of the experiment, I found an antidote for the virus of which Felicia was unaware. It went horribly wrong... your illness in the alternative reality was a result of that. Later, I discovered that she *had* been aware of my attempts and she had changed the formula, and as a result and punishment, your health started getting worse and I was put here," he pointed around him, "in this cell. But, she was always more interested in Emma due to her telempathic abilities and she focused the rest of her experiment on her. Jesse and Brennan were excluded and kept only as 'spare parts' and you... well, your feline genes made you another interesting subject and I'm sure you remember the rest. Brennan and Jesse were spared in a way and I'm hoping you were too. Emma, however... I don't know. Her mind had been subjected to rigorous torture... experiments creating an almost, emotional chaos inside her without her even being aware of it. All of that has caused a lot of damage to her psyche and I don't know how she will recover." His eyes began to water. The confession was hard on him and the guilt even stronger. "I'm hoping she will be alright. You have the antidote in that bottle and you need to give her one spoon per day of it for a month. It'll fight off and destroy the virus gradually, if my formula is correct, otherwise a bigger dosage would endanger her health even further and I. think I've caused her enough damage. Everyone thinks I'm dead now and It's best if everyone keeps believing that because I'm unsure and I highly doubt that she will keep me alive any longer. The shock is huge to you, I know... knowing that I'm alive even though you thought I'd been killed. Let them believe I was never alive after the fire. and yes, I probably deserve this. Please, after you view this message, destroy it. I don't want the others to find it. It'll be way too painful for them. You went through enough, you don't deserve more pain.  
  
I wish it could have been different. All four of you have been the most important people in my life. But it isn't right for the parents to outlive their children, is it... Goodbye."  
  
The screen went black.  
  
The wetness on her face sparkled against the light while her mind fought to retrieve itself from the painful memories of the not so distant past. She should've destroyed the message the first time she viewed it but she lacked the strength to do it. Shalimar obeyed his wish - the others felt oblivious to Adam's life after his 'death'. She saw that he had been right, however. Shalimar could easily imagine the devastating effect it would have on them... it would have on Emma.  
  
Shalimar's thoughts weren't settling after she had been the only one to witness him for the last time before he died. She never had a chance for a burial; everything belonging to him had been lost in that fire.  
  
Wiping her face with the ends of her black t-shirt, Shalimar sniffed a couple of times to hold back any more expositions of her shaken state. She then took out the disk and placed it on the table when she heard an unfamiliar sound from the main hallway.  
  
Quickly, she rushed to the brightly lit corridor to find a familiar person standing there. "Well, look who showed up," she said.  
  
"Are you happy to see me, freak?" Caleb's distorted speech echoed through the empty corridor as his eyes, taking in the much needed 'natural' color of orange, watched her eagerly.  
  
"Don't you ever get tired of trying to kill us?" Her blood was not flowing easily with the unsettling knowledge she had of his presence.  
  
"You should be grateful, Feral. It was thanks to me that you escaped from that hellhole!"  
  
"Oh! And it was you that set that fire and killed everyone in there?" she sounded far from impressed by the creature's response.  
  
"The fire did the trick, I merely started the process."  
  
"Wow, impressive."  
  
"It was a special fire."  
  
"If it was so special, it would've gotten you as well!"  
  
"I wouldn't talk like that if I were you, Feral."  
  
Keeping a safe distance from Caleb, she observed the tall, scaly figure of the mutant, helping herself to stay on her highest level of alert. Jesse and Brennan were absent from Sanctuary and Emma was sleeping, still in her own state, leaving Shalimar on her own with this 'thing'. "Why did you do it then?" Her voice was flat with intolerance painted on it. She chose to expose herself to his version as her frustration left little room for useless negotiation.  
  
"They killed the scientist instead of me and that stolen pleasure didn't satisfy me," he said.  
  
"You poor thing."  
  
"I warned you." He knew her mocking tone. anyone could recognize it. "Since he's now dead... one less evil in this world."  
  
"Why are you here then?"  
  
"A 'thank you'?"  
  
"I think it's time for you to leave now," she warned him.  
  
"After all the drugs they pumped into you I doubt you could do much damage, Feral," he told her.  
  
"You're really lucky that I don't kill you and skin you right now!"  
  
"Easy, Feral, easy." His eyes took a brief inspection of the shelter's new look. "I liked it better when the colors were darker."  
  
"Not accustomed to too much light then?"  
  
The mutant let out a strange screeching sound as a response.  
  
"Too much time in the swamp does that to you."  
  
Her comment did not seem welcoming to Caleb as his eyelids squeezed against his eyeballs and with an angry hiss he threw himself towards Shalimar, knocking her down on the floor. "Shut your mouth," he said and grabbed her by her neck before he separated her body from the floor and threw her further down the hallway, letting agonizing spears run through her body, injecting further pain to her less-than-perfect health right now. "How do you know if this is real, Feral?" Caleb began walking towards the fallen mutant. "With all those tricks they did with your mind, how do you know if all that is over?"  
  
"I can sense your ugly stench from a mile away, so it must be real," she said while trying to focus her eyes on his green figure but that chance was short-lived when a strong force took hold of her neck once more, pulling her away and throwing her against the wall. The impact registered another layer or agonizing pain, plastering itself onto her body. Moaning quietly while sliding roughly down, she shut her eyes to keep herself in the conscious reality while she tried to control her breathing. His applied force was too much for her physical condition that hadn't yet recovered from the tests. The brightness of the walls was fading as a black, silky cover took its place over her eyes, closing them from any images in front of Shalimar. Exhaustion....  
  
********* 


	27. chapter 27

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters from 'Mutant X'. They're not my property. They belong to Tribune Entertainment.  
  
***  
  
*********  
  
Jesse observed the heavy clouds; they were ready to burst out and release all the rain they had within them. He could tell the impatience which they had to be rid of the extreme amount of water. He imagined the feeling of weightlessness afterwards they would have... Can clouds feel?  
  
He smiled to himself. He thought that Adam was still alive not so long ago... such a naïve boy. Everyone managed to escape but them; the four mutants left by themselves. No longer with a father, a mentor... Someone that could always, in some way, be with them.  
  
He expected to feel worse after they returned here. The experiments, the sick "therapy", being lab rats. Shalimar told them. She told them everything. He should feel safe now, relieved, parted from danger. But that did not happen. He did not forget what his mind went through; what he felt, saw or heard. That was and continued to be real for him. He couldn't forget that. It was in there forever; it couldn't be removed. He wished it wasn't, though. Jesse wished that even Adam's death was one of those hallucinations; a fabrication of some mutated, carnivorous virus. He then glanced behind him... It was empty. It was real.  
  
Sighing, he closed his eyes and thankful that at least Shalimar's death was not real. That could kill him. He did not wish to think further of it. Too much pain went through him; and too much of it made a home inside him, without ever intending on leaving him. His eyes moved over to the person standing next to him, observing the sky just as he had done. She was beautiful. Shalimar was always a beautiful woman. It was only a shame that she belonged to someone else now. He placed his hand on her shoulder, touching it. It felt weaker than he'd known; more tense although her shoulders should let the peace of this shelter take over them, run through the nerves, muscles, bones to relax them. She was safer here, all of them were. Her face turned to his slowly. She smiled and then returned her eyes to the clouds once more.  
  
It was colder today. The weather matched with the little bits of strange and mixed emotions he kept feeling inside. After Emma recovers, Brennan and Shalimar would return as a couple although not quite on a solid ground. Shalimar was not certain of their future as much as Brennan probably was. Nevertheless, Jesse wished he were Brennan... At least he would get to touch her and caress her softly because he could, because he had permission and because she would respond to it with delight.  
  
Was the Molecular jealous? "Unlikely," he told himself. Could there be hope? Maybe. After all... never say never.  
  
He did panic when he saw her lying on the floor that day. Caleb was gone. No one saw him again; no one knew what happened to him. She wasn't really hurt but rather, still tired. He took her to her room and stayed with her, just watching her because he wanted to; since it felt good to watch her rest. The next day she was fine. She was almost back to normal. That was a good sign, he hoped. Jesse hated seeing Shalimar hurt because it hurt him.  
  
"Shal?" he called her.  
  
"Yeah?" she turned to him once more.  
  
Jesse smiled and leaned forward, kissing her cheek. "It's good to have you back," he whispered.  
  
She tapped his cheek playfully. "Thanks. I just hope things will manage to get back to normal as much as possible..."  
  
Jesse kissed her cheek again and turned his face forward. They just might....  
  
*********  
  
The first drop of heavy rain fell with a loud thump on the glass surface of the window along with another tear from the inner cave behind her blue eye. That one year was heavily multiplied by another one. What could be worse - she wondered. The inner hallways of her body were having a difficult time grinding the yet spiky rock that blocked important pathways for her stable emotions to flow through.  
  
The mug did not leave the warmth of her chest as she kept it tightly against the soft fabric of her clothing. Such a horrible day it was and she couldn't let it go. Her eyes shut briefly as a clear image of her friends' bodies soaked in blood stood in remembrance. Not feeling brave enough to look deeper into each color and frame, Emma unveiled the black and no less depressing present.  
  
The invisible air in front of her eyes materialized a young woman in a silky nightgown. She walked barefooted on the cold floor with the icy tiles snapping at the soles; the air was eerily cold and it did nothing to encourage her of a calming nothingness. She gazed with fear and trembling skin over the unnaturally peaceful faces of her friends. There was no sign of agony on them, letting a person foolishly to believe that they had anticipated a peaceful death, but the bloody traces around them, the stiffened fingers, and the curled bodies could contradict that derisive mask of deception. Her mind heard only silence, felt only silence, and smelled only silence. It was a dry, decaying silence. No other life was here except hers; no other heart beating or lips gasping for air. She was alone. Emma was an orphaned friend walking helplessly amongst her lifeless teammates. She should've heard the earlier chaos, the screams, the ruthless shredding of life. But she was asleep, unable to sense anything or feel anything distant enough from her mind, outside of her head. Was it her fault? Would she have made any difference if her senses alerted her in time? Answer unknown. For now however, she could only return and watch the same horrifying picture over and over again.  
  
Emma would have given into that image with such intensity that even her heart would have shed a tear had it not been for the repetitive and sudden calling of her name. The image vaporized into the thinned and breathable air when her head abruptly turned to her left side to meet the warm color of Brennan's eyes.  
  
"What's wrong?" he asked her.  
  
She stared at him with an overwhelming relief represented in petrified stillness. Her lung could not hold the pressure any longer and she released the forcefully kept air inside her. "The dream..."  
  
"Again?" there was concern in his voice.  
  
Emma nodded briefly. "Yeah. It was just very real... it freaks me out y'know. Adam's gone and when I was walking there among you, I..." she sighed, "I felt so alone. I don't want to feel alone, Bren." Her heart did not spare the honest words.  
  
Brennan brushed her cheek and felt its trembling. "We're still here, Em. That stupid dream won't get to you." His words were so solid and certain that they could have easily provided a safe wall for the Psionic against such disturbing imagery.  
  
Emma's eyes fell on the empty hole inside the mug. She wished she had the same emptiness inside her but instead a confusing mess was brewing continuously of moments from the past and present. Gloomy and unsettling.  
  
Setting the mug down, she sat up and took a deep breath. Her eyes remained on the floor for a second before slowly reaching the same level as Brennan's. She took a step forward and embraced her friend tightly. Her chin found a place and rested in a comfortable burrow made from his woolen sweater while her eyes stared blankly in front. "Some things I can remember so clearly, but others... there's nothing. It worries me," she said.  
  
Brennan created a tight belt around her waist with his arms as he understood her worry. Who knows what Felicia had done to her. The treatment seemed to have been working fortunately, and it has been almost two months that have passed. The recovery did not reach its full circle, however. Emma was still fragile; her mind was still adjusting, still recovering. She would need more rest. She could not be left alone now and especially not by him. "Take your time," he responded although from what he and Jesse had heard from Shalimar, it would be better for some memories to never return in Emma's mind.  
  
Everything became so complicated after Adam's death: every relationship, every friendship... little made sense for a long time. Brennan's own relationship with Shalimar became quiet, almost transparent with a fading, greenish flame that was once as bright and red as the color of young blood. The reason for that was probably the emotional torture everyone had endured. But such torture should cement the void and push them closer together, shouldn't it? Right now though, it was the opposite for a barely explainable reason.  
  
Maybe, when the recovery would finish its cycle for Emma and everyone else that things would return to normal as much as it is possible. His concern for his friend was unfair that it could run a few miles forward, before anything else. But it was difficult to do otherwise. Emma was his friend. The others were alright... to some degree, a very high one... she - wasn't. She needed him even if she said nothing. He knew this.  
  
C.S. Lewis once said: "Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art.... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival." These moments showed that. She needed him and she needed Shalimar and Jesse. But she needed *him*. She sought a leaning post, a secure blanket that would wrap itself around her and prevent further harm done to her... he could not promise its eternity but he could try to give it a long life.  
  
"Shalimar and Jesse are on the balcony. Wanna go join them?" he whispered to her.  
  
"Yeah," Emma smiled briefly to not reveal a miserable face and separated herself from him.  
  
Brennan took her hand and slowly walked out of the room with Emma.  
  
THE END  
  
~ Thank you to everyone that gave their opinion on this story. Every review was delightful to read, regardless if it was a compliment or harsh criticism. :o) ~ 


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